True solo playdates

[creamylips]

For those that are swingers with an open marriage. Do you just swing in seperate rooms, or do you and your partner play seperately all together on occassion?
The hubby and I swing and have individual play time. He'll arrange playtime with a galpal or 2, by himself, and I will occassionally do the same with a guypal.

It's a huge turn on for me when I know my hubby is off playing.How bout everyone else?

[unusualsuspects]

My wife and I have the same arrangement. Some days we just get the urge to play separately and pursue it for a while, and some days we want to play together.

I will say, and I'm sure you've noticed, that she has a lot more opportunity and options to play on her own. The lifestyle doesn't have as much leeway for single guys or married guys playing solo.

That being said, it's not truly a "cuckold" relationship nor whatever the opposite would be, but we do get a charge out of each other's experiences. I think that's what makes it work, honestly. When we get back home and together alone, we just *have* to catch each other up both story-wise and orgasm-wise.

Making that 4-way connection is still a goal for us that's stronger than the others, but we don't let it limit our options as we move towards it.

[creamylips]

Well, my hubby usually plays solo more than I do! He has a group of regular gal pals that he has playdates with, and every now an then a new gal is introduced. It really depends on the group of people that you know, and how well you have developed your own network.
He usually has solo playdates once,sometimes twice a week. I have solo play as I feel like it. Usually every other week or so- sometimes more, sometimes less. Then we have group play 2-3 times per month.We don't put limits on each other, and really don't keep track.We support and encourage each other in our solo play.
We don't put limits or constraints on a satisfying sex life. We do what really works for us, and as I said , we have been together in a loving marriage for 17 years- .

[willyoats]

We mostly do clubs where we are there together. We may do separate rooms or same room. On occasion each of us has had an afternoon delight when the other is out of town. In the past year, my wife just goes shopping or playing bridge while my play date is here in the house with me on our bed. The only restriction my wife has ever put on this kind of activity is that I don't sleep overnight with anyone.

[bbarnsworth]

My wife and I always play together, same room. We've discussed playing solo, and there's a possibility this may occur in the future, but not for now. Personally, I'd be fine with her having sex without me there if I was not available for whatever reason. It'd be hotter than hell to get a phone call from her while she was going at it, and I could hear it all. We've agreed that if this ever were to happen though it'd have to be a man she's had sex with many times, whom we trust and she really enjoys.

[creamylips]

Originally Posted by willyoats

We mostly do clubs where we are there together. We may do separate rooms or same room. On occasion each of us has had an afternoon delight when the other is out of town. In the past year, my wife just goes shopping or playing bridge while my play date is here in the house with me on our bed. The only restriction my wife has ever put on this kind of activity is that I don't sleep overnight with anyone.

We don't sleep overnight with our playdates either- we prefer sleeping only with each other. Sometimes I am at home when hubby is having a playdate- if he is playing at home. If I am at home, I like to make sure that I have a nice meal and plenty of drinks flowing for him and his galpals, but otherwise I give him total privacy. But most of the time I make arrangements to be out of the house.He has a very healthy appetite, and has sex everday- wether it's with me or his lovely gals pals. But alot of the time hubby plays at his gals homes, or a hotel, or wherever he makes plans to play. I usually play solo when he is at work- because I have the house to myself- but I also play when he is at home too. When we are at group play with other couples and singles, it's usually at a home. Although group play while camping is marvelous!!

[JustAskJulie]

I don't really think that just swinging in seperate rooms really constitutes an "open marriage" ... IMO, that's just another form of swinging. YOu are still doing it together, just seperately. Open Marriage usually requires a different level of going out on your own individually to find those you choose to play with on your own.

It's an interesting question - do you consider a couple who goes to a swinger house party and chooses to swing with two people (who are not part of the same couple) in different rooms as having an open marriage?

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I don't really think that just swinging in seperate rooms really constitutes an "open marriage" ... IMO, that's just another form of swinging. YOu are still doing it together, just seperately. Open Marriage usually requires a different level of going out on your own individually to find those you choose to play with on your own.

It's an interesting question - do you consider a couple who goes to a swinger house party and chooses to swing with two people (who are not part of the same couple) in different rooms as having an open marriage?

No, I don't consider separate room swinging to be an "open marriage" activity. Even if you're with people from two different couples at a party. I think open marriage means that one or both partners is free to go find their own partners in general, not just at a party where the other spouse is present.

Mr. Fuse and I have had solo playdates, but it's the infrequent exception rather than the rule. I always have to have approval for who I have sex with, regardless of the venue or whether he is there. So in that sense even our solo playdates aren't "open". We don't have separate sex lives, in general.

[creamylips]

No- seperate room swinging is not an open marriage. Thats wandering around during group play! We actually group swing, and play solo totally apart from each other, and our seperate play may include several people. Open marriage is the freedom to explore other sexual partners, without having to ask or explain to your spouse.
Then there are times we have solo play dates in our home, while the other spouse is at home too. It's just a given that if it is designated solo play time and not group- we give total privacy to the other. They are still classified as actual solo playdates even though we may both be in the house at the same time. Because during solo playtime, the other spouse isn't involved at all, and isn't having any type of play time. I may be doing laundry upstairs, while he is partying with his galpals down in the basement.
We have a great basement with seperate entrance that works well for swing time and our own solo play dates. We do give each other the courtesy of letting each other know when we will be off playing, or using the basement.

[iapr]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I don't really think that just swinging in seperate rooms really constitutes an "open marriage" ... IMO, that's just another form of swinging. YOu are still doing it together, just seperately. Open Marriage usually requires a different level of going out on your own individually to find those you choose to play with on your own.

It's an interesting question - do you consider a couple who goes to a swinger house party and chooses to swing with two people (who are not part of the same couple) in different rooms as having an open marriage?

I don't at all. We have always been pretty steadfast about only swinging together and that we do not play separately or go on "dates" with others but we have played in separate rooms with different halves of couples at partys before and it is open for consideration for future house parties.

I agree with you in that playing in separate rooms at a single location and a closed event is just a variation in swinging. You are arriving together, meeting and socializing with the same people together and you are ultimately leaving together.

What a houseparty environment does is just gives you a little more leeway and flexibility in matching each of your individual tastes. You are not as restricted to finding that ever so elusive 4-way click.

[Meetussoon]

We prefer fun together, same pile or room, but enjoy all the variations of play, together and separate. We have yet to do the weekend long - multiple day swap, but have close friends with whom we would love to trade for a weekend.

I (Tom) will be in Cleveland this week for work, and hope to find some fun on the road. IF so, Marie will know beforehand, may have spoken to the new friends, and will want all the details after.


We have thought about calling each other during the fun, but that might put the other person(s) in an uncomfortable spot. Over the years we have both had regular outside friends who we saw separately on a semi-regular basis (a few times a year). 95% of our separate play is with people we both have met and played with together.

So if your near Cleveland this week wed-sat May 13th-16th let us know.

Tom and Marie

[CXXC]

Mrs. CXXC and I started with solo play and moved to couple/couple play. We are both free to participate in solo play as we desire.
Our only requirements for these activities are that we must inform the other with as much advance notice as possible of the particulars, who, where, when etc... this ia a safety concern more than anything else. It is also agreed that we will send a text message to each other from the play place. This is also a REAL safety precaution. (signal triangulation and such)

We do enjoy sharing the experience with each other the next day as we sit sipping coffee or cuddled togehter in bed in the morning. It gets the passion going between us. It was when I told Mrs. CXXC all aobut my first solo activity that prompted her desire to do so as well. Once we were both active and enjoying this freedom, our next and natural step was to actively engage as a couple with couples.

Since moving to GA, we have not had a moment of solo play! Damn schedules!!! However, we are both free to do so when we are able.

[femnewb4u2]

For those of you in open marriages do you see a difference between solo play and and open marriage? Is there a line or definition that to you denotes solo play vs open marriage? Some times I see one in the way some speak but I would rather hear from you then to walk around with a bias in my meeting new couples of which I have no first hand knowledge.

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by femnewb4u2

For those of you in open marriages do you see a difference between solo play and and open marriage? Is there a line or definition that to you denotes solo play vs open marriage? Some times I see one in the way some speak but I would rather hear from you then to walk around with a bias in my meeting new couples of which I have no first hand knowledge.

I think in my mind (caveat: I'm not in an open marriage) that the dividing line is prior notification and agreement is solo play, lack of same is open marriage.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by bbarnsworth

I think in my mind (caveat: I'm not in an open marriage) that the dividing line is prior notification and agreement is solo play, lack of same is open marriage.

Well put. We very occasionally will do solo play as you have described it. We do not have an open marriage.