True solo playdates

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by bbarnsworth

I think in my mind (caveat: I'm not in an open marriage) that the dividing line is prior notification and agreement is solo play, lack of same is open marriage.

I am actually in an open marriage, and I would NEVER consider having sex with someone other than my spouse without prior notification AND agreement. If that is one's dividing line, that's all good and well, but it's not necessarily where some or all of us in an open marriage would place that dividing line. I've said plenty of times that trying to define open marriage is no less complicated than defining swinging given it ultimately ends up being a "YMMV" issue, much less trying to define both open marriage and how that differs from solo play.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by rpu3

I am actually in an open marriage, and I would NEVER consider having sex with someone other than my spouse without prior notification AND agreement. If that is one's dividing line, that's all good and well, but it's not necessarily where some or all of us in an open marriage would place that dividing line. I've said plenty of times that trying to define open marriage is no less complicated than defining swinging given it ultimately ends up being a "YMMV" issue, much less trying to define both open marriage and how that differs from solo play.

Wow. I might have to re-adjust how I define the terms "solo play" and "open marriage". Help me! JoAnn and I have both had dates on our own, each time saying, "Say, hon, how 'bout I ask so-and-so for a date next Wednesday," knowing that no objection is going to be voiced. So what is it? I never thought it was called open marriage.

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple

Wow. I might have to re-adjust how I define the terms "solo play" and "open marriage". Help me! JoAnn and I have both had dates on our own, each time saying, "Say, hon, how 'bout I ask so-and-so for a date next Wednesday," knowing that no objection is going to be voiced. So what is it? I never thought it was called open marriage.

I don't think I'm going to declare "what is it". I've said in other threads that there would be no more agreement for these terms than there is for "swinging".

I consider myself being in an open marriage because my spouse and I are open to whatever might come up, in perhaps a more emotional or relationship-sense. However, I'm not quite cut out for poly. I suspect my definition of solo play would incorporate a less involved approach.

My personal definitions just denote a difference in potential involvement. Neither of my definitions are permission-based - it is a personal choice that I would discuss things with my spouse prior to any potential involvement. The problem is again, there's no firm definition for either term. It means whatever you think it should, so it's fair to say my usage directly contradicts yours, just like I didn't agree on some eles's definition.

[Trace Ekies]

The closest we've come to seperate room play started with all in the same room. It was before a party and we ended up having sex. When it came time for a shower, my partner and I jumped in the shower in their room and Mrs. Ekies and her partner went across the hall to ours.

She got screwed pretty hard and I got a hell of a BJ...very nice.

Our conversations from the beginning of our lifestyle journey have been based on the "together in the same room" premise.

We have had conversations about swinging seperately but we've decided that we want to experience everything together and will keep our playtime to when we both are present.

I feel certain that this will change in the future when an opportunity arises...but I don't expect or want to have an open marriage.

Trace