letting the wife fly solo?

[coollatinos]

The part I DON'T LIKE about this scenario is that the old boyfriend BELIEVES that you don't know about this potential tryst.Although we have not yet experienced a swap,I have at times given my lovely wife the OK to flirt & seduce men that she has told me have come on to her at work,meetings,conferences,etc.If it got to where she became REALLY interested in taking it to the next stage,we discussed her bringing him home for possible play.I recall several years ago,a GM from a subsidiary of her employer invited the both of us to vacation at his condo in Toronto for a week.He would entertain us all week,he said.He's divorced,a decade older than us,and very professional.It seems that he also had a sexual encounter with my wifes best gal pal,at that time.I told her that if we did take him up on his offer,he'd initiate some flirting and alcohol induced games.I said that if that occured,I would INSIST that we have our FIRST MFM SEX! I was HOT as lava at the thought! I asked her to set a week aside for his offer. She insisted that he was TOO NICE to be that way! I said if that's the case,then let's go and have a platonic week,nothing more.But,I again expressed that if the MFM scenario occured,WE DO IT! We never did take him up on it.But I certainly WOULDN'T let her go FUCK him alone.She's MY honey,you only get a taste if I share her.

[eve99]

Wow, thank you all for the advice. I didn't expect to get so many responses to this and I guess I need to give some clarification on the parts of this that I left a little foggy in first post. I realize mentioning an old boyfriend conjures up all kinds of unsavory images but I should say it is a little more innocent than that and they are better described as old friends than ex lovers. They went to school together and dated for a short while during JR high (we're young) and they never did have real strong feelings for each other. As far as how they hooked back up...well, they really just ran into each other and she later started teasing him via text message (with my permission) and things went from there. She did tell him early on that our relationship is a bit "different" and that I have given her permission to play and he made it clear that he is not trying to make a move. They both just like how taboo what they are doing is. What he doesn't know is that I know the specifics of what they have been up to, just that they talk. We were actually going to tell him but he expressed concern to her about me knowing everything and worry about how I might react so we just decided to keep that to ourselves. Probably not the best idea in hindsight but we didn't want to cause any embarrassment. (I have respected the privacy of pictues etc. and just get an overview from the wife) Anyway, I hope that rant sheds a little more light. I'm not worried about old feelings coming back or her getting hurt, mostly about word getting out and of course STD's.

[eve99]

Well, you all have given me a lot to think about. I feel one of the things we have going for us is communication and trust. We have been through a lot together and have a very strong relationship. I am mostly worried about the things we don't see coming and I wanted to see how those who have been in the lifestyle for awhile view this kind of thing. Still not 100% sure how we are going to handle this but we are going to discuss it in length and I will definitely post again to let you know what we end up doing.

[couplers]

How did your situation turrn out?
I would lie to know because I (the female) am in a similar situation. Before I met my husband, David, I had a lover, Red, that I never gave up. David knew about Red when we first started dating and as we became more seriously emotionally involved he confronted me - and let me know that he had no problem with ime continuing the relationship. David wasn't seeing anyone else and was clear he wasn't looking for the same freedom. These are the only two men that I have been with (Red took my virginity at 17). While I have feelings for Red, it is friendship and sex, not the deep love I have for David.

[strathmore]

As others have said, I think your situation is fraught with danger due to the emotional attachment and notion of an affair.
The situation you describe is a common one in the cuckold/hotwife world, but in that case both partners are in on it and the emotional attachment to the third is usually not present.

I recently posted one of my experiences with the hotwife scenario in Swinger Stories titled The Cuckold's Hotwife.

[Forbidden_Fruit]

I was hoping someone else would say what I was thinking. For me the biggest issue is that the BF doesn't know that its swinging. Thats wrong. Period. Swinging is about honesty and not between the two of you but with people you play with. Everyone knows the score, no one is trying to take anyone away from anyone else and everyone has fun. Your scenario fails on many levels.

If your wife wants to play alone believe me you won't have an issue finding a single male in the lifestyle for her to play with!

[jid2008]

Honestly, I wouldn't want to give the guy the satisfaction.

If he was a cool guy from the beginning and never said a word, and then you all mentioned it to him, I would see no issue with it. Hell, sounds like a good time for her.

But...this guy is an asshole. We've seen it all on our Craigslisting, where a "couple" contacts us and then start asking "so do you ever play alone?" Hell, even couples have pulled that. One girl, who didn't even see my (the husband) picture, asked if she was supposed to play with me. Wife responded "If you want to" and she responds "I don't even want him around..." Well, fine..but then the kicker, the next message she asks if she would like to play with HER boyfriend, because, after all, he is "hott." It's bullshit. The idiots like that don't know a damn thing about swinging, they just want some NSA fun and don't care who gets hurt in the matter.