Open Marriage vs Swinging?

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by jnbsmokin

Does anybody else have a hard time paying attention to the posts instead of her arse??? Sorry Pepper, I mean no offense, and I'm sure you already know you have a great body....

Awww, bless your heart!

Pepper

[Hellsgate]

I'm all for "Open Marriage" as long as she comes home & indulges my voyeuristic tendancies, (telling me what a naughty, fertile little "breedee" she was that night.) As long as its all just once-a-week or whatever play dates & not a way to find someone else to move on to, I'm okay with it.

Your Friend,
Jason

[furn01]

Personal Opinions...You know what they say....lol..But, I have one here...We have been in the Life Style for about 2 years now...I have personally found out if you start to go your seperate ways..you also grow apart..It's hard to pull it back together...I feel swinging is for that couple..to enhance things a little...I am personally more comfortable with just one couple as my play partner..Like I said Personal Opinion...lol....Good Luck to you both

[wunzrtwice]

Open marriage vs. swinging? In one case you could say that 2 + 2 = 5 if both partners have the freedom to seek and enjoy others that may turn out to the couple's friends and play partners together and separate. If it's couples or nothing, I think it less likely for getting 4 people to agree on the potential partners. Therefore it's a limiting factor. To be fair, couples enjoying the lifestyle together will enjoy more collective success than single individuals. There is one superior benefit to couples, both of whom are genuine swingers... each will be pleased and happy that the partner finds pleasure, joy, and fulfillment in a shared and participating experience. That doesn't happen with singles, open marriage or just singles. I'm in the 60 plus range and my opinion comes from observation over the years.

[CXXC]

At this time, Mrs. CXXC plays individualy. She lets me know when and where she is at the time and then fills me in on the activities after. This works for her right now. She is not completely comfortable with being active as a couple with another couple at this time. As I have not started to "play" yet, we have not tested the waters with the separate play issue.
We are going to Desire Spa and Resort in a month and plan to "play" together there to see how she feels and how things work out. If she feels comfy with that activity then, we will move in that direction going forward.
I personally feel that we are in our present activity together as she tells me everything before, durring and after.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by geminigrey

I really don't know there is technically a difference between an open marriage and swinging. I'd say it is that each of the spouse play separately, but I've seen people talking about swinging solo as well as with their spouse, so I'm not sure.

I don't understand how did this thread get to this point. Deciding what is swinging or not, is not the issue here. Nor is, if this will work for everyone.

Swinging, technically is having sex with people other than your partner. Be it married partner, long or short term committed relationship, or even girlfriend/ boyfriend. What ever, some form of relationship exists. Thats swinging in my definition. Having sex with other people ! period.

Open marriage, playing separate (with or without permission), or playing together. And all the scenarios that could possibly happen, are what you need to decide. You can see that there are many aspects and scenarios that happen in different ways with many of us here. Some work for others that would not work for all.

Its between you and your wife on how you pursue things. What rules or boundaries you may establish is the main importance. Is your relationship good enough to get enjoyment out of sex with other people, in a positive way no matter how you go about it ? Its not about us, or what we feel by definition.

Its about you two together.

What will happen now ?

How do each of you feel about each other having sex with someone els ?

Where do you see your relationship after having sex with other people ?

These are the things Mrs.fun and I talked about as much as what, by definition, everything was. We kept our relationship on top. Sex second. Other people third. We still do, and we are still swinging.

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by wunzrtwice

... To be fair, couples enjoying the lifestyle together will enjoy more collective success than single individuals. There is one superior benefit to couples, both of whom are genuine swingers... each will be pleased and happy that the partner finds pleasure, joy, and fulfillment in a shared and participating experience. That doesn't happen with singles, open marriage or just singles. I'm in the 60 plus range and my opinion comes from observation over the years.

And being one in an open marriage, my opinion and experience is that we are both happy and fulfilled when we do swinging like activities or when we do open marriage like activities. We don't need to be in the same room being "genuine swingers" to find our own benefits which are superior only to ourselves, and not as a ranking system with others. I'm sure sure the other groups mentioned find that their own personal experience offers great and superior benefits... to them. It's great when swinging works out. There are definitely benefits to be had. But when we do our open marriage thing, it too is good. The two aren't compared and ranked and neither are the benefits found in each situation. Sharing via swinging as a couple with other couples doesn't automatically the make the benefits "superior".

Why can't we all just do whatever it is that makes us as couples and individuals happy and fulfilled, and accept that others might find that same happiness and fulfillment by a different method WITHOUT labeling one the resulting experience or benefit as "superior" to another?

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

I don't understand how did this thread get to this point. Deciding what is swinging or not, is not the issue here. Nor is, if this will work for everyone.

Swinging, technically is having sex with people other than your partner. Be it married partner, long or short term committed relationship, or even girlfriend/ boyfriend. What ever, some form of relationship exists. Thats swinging in my definition. Having sex with other people ! period.

Open marriage, playing separate (with or without permission), or playing together. .

Now you've opened a can of worms..... so are you saying that CHEATING IS SWINGING?

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Now you've opened a can of worms..... so are you saying that CHEATING IS SWINGING?

I can see how that came across wrong and its my error stating anything like that . I could edit that but I wont, because it does need clarified .



There are certain couples who play separate with permission to begin with. Should they have the chance to play, they don't necessarily have to make a call and ask permission at the moment. And later give the details to their spouse. We have played with one woman that I didn't feel comfortable not knowing, or talking, to her husband. So I called him. He was in AZ and we were here. He let me know it would be fine nothing was out of the ordinary for them. I felt a little silly calling but still would do the same. There was no deception involved.

Now if it were a cheating situation deception is the difference.

Cheating is sex with others in a deceptive way !

Swinging is sex with others without deception, to anyone

Even so, This is all up to Geminigrey and his wife as to what they may do in their future. How they play with others needs to be defined between themselves.

[couplewanting50]

Originally Posted by CXXC

At this time, Mrs. CXXC plays individualy. She lets me know when and where she is at the time and then fills me in on the activities after. This works for her right now. She is not completely comfortable with being active as a couple with another couple at this time. As I have not started to "play" yet, we have not tested the waters with the separate play issue.
We are going to Desire Spa and Resort in a month and plan to "play" together there to see how she feels and how things work out. If she feels comfy with that activity then, we will move in that direction going forward.
I personally feel that we are in our present activity together as she tells me everything before, durring and after.

She is playing and you are not. She is not comfortable with you playing as a couple, with another couple? Why is that? Because you get to play?

[CXXC]

NO NO NO!!!!!
She actually encourages me to play. I simply am either to lazy or am waiting for us to play together. Really, I would rather play WITH her than be alone with another woman. I think it has to do with a fear that she will not like my playing after all. She tells me that this is silly. I know that I am being overly cautious. I over think things.

[sexyjarrett]

my husband and i are new to this whole thing. but we have agreed that we can swing as long as are together we are not cheating on each other but is we do it away from each other then it is cheating and then it is grounds for even a divorce!! I know that, that my seem harsh but it was the grounds that we agreed on... and that is how we feel if and when we ever get to swing we will be a same room swap and even join in on each other!!!!

[havefuninsun]

Interesting thread.

The one thing I will offer to the newbies -- the ones just starting out or the ones looking for their first experience is this: it all seems to evolve one way or the other. What might feel like cheating today may not a year from now.

We first started out with guidelines, and except for the condom rule, I don't think any of the other guidelines are still in place. We were same room, full swap, and girls could play if they wanted to.

Since then, we've had separate room experiences, and Mr. Fun has even met one of our female playmates alone without me (damn work schedule! LOL). When we first started, there's NO WAY I would have seen that coming!

All of us know our relationships and what we all can handle. You also have to know yourself. If you're the type that can start falling for someone who you're alone naked with, seeing someone on your own, or having an open marriage, probably won't work for you. And that's fine. Just because you're experimenting and having a fun adventure doesn't mean you have to experience it all. I mean, does everyone hit every ride and experience everything there is to do at Disneyworld? Some do, most don't.

So, it's all good, as long as no one is getting hurt. Each couple should enjoy each other, and the ones they want to enjoy otherwise, as it works for them.

[CXXC]

havefuninsun
I have to agree. In the research that we have done over the last few months, it is true that swinging is in conastant flux. What you may be against in the begining, you become a champion for later.
That being said, my situation is, in my opinion, different than most in that I have not started to "play". This is not for a lack of desire or really any fear. As I have thought about it and disscused this with the Mrs. it is simply a matter of making the time and getting the energy to do so. Again, My job will send me anywhere on the earth at the drop of a hat. Point and case, I was away 8 out of the last 12 months. When I get home, I just want to be home!
My desire to share my wife with another couple is out of a desire to be together at all times when we can. If I find that I have an oportunity to play on my own, rest assured, I will not pass this up. Largely due to the fact that my wife expects and approves of this.
I guess you could say we have a swinging open marriage. Huh! Go figure!

[sexychoclit]

I think that an open marriage is more "don't ask, don't tell". Swinging is when the couples choose to allow other sexual partners into their lives. How they choose to do it could be by playing together, playing separately, watching while the other one plays, etc. However, they still have the consent of the other person. A person going outside of their relationship without the other partners knowledge and lies about it if they are confronted is just plain cheating.