hubby says it ok to swing without him

[deanncat]

ok, let me tell you alittle bet about us, we have been married for 11years, very happy and started coming to this board about year ago, (me wife) hubby likes to read story at this site and i like to read board, it has made me very confortable and gave a bunch of information about swinging, I have started seriously flirting with other men when hubby is around but have not had any luck with going all the way, some of the men we have approached just are interested in doing MMF, they want to just have fun with me without my husband, when we have talked about swinging it has always been about us having fun together and doing something new, but hubby has said I can swing without him just share details with him, I feel like this is totally cheating, it sounds like more fun to me if he is there, it took alot of talking for me to get confortable and now i'm excited about having fun MMF but can't find anybody willing to have it with us, (we have been totally looking at people we know male friend I hang out with) I really don't think I can swing without him, (If I swing without out him I feel like it could be a disaster ready to happen, don't know how to wrap my head around it) hubby says he confortable and it wouldn't be cheating as long as I tell him. so I guess my ? how do you all feel about swing with out your hubby no where around and telling him about it later and what is the best way to hook up with MMF, hubby is not the party type even though I think this would make me more confortable at first, better then meeting on the inernet. Really want to have fun, but not having any luck yet. Need advice

[discreetcoup69]

My suggestion is this; just be totally honest with him. Tell him when you are going to go swing, give him the opportunity to play on his own. If you aren't comfortable after an experience or two, then chalk it up to experience of knowing what you like and don't like. Don't feel guilty about it, look at like he loves and trusts you enough to let you go be on your own.

[JTcamp05]

If he is comfortable (you know him better than us) can't imagine why you feel its cheating....

This type of playing works for many couples, you just have to find what you both cmfortable with, never know unless you try......

[fun4Ds]

deanncat,im not sure i follow? are you seeking a male to join you both?..for MFM, but doing so on your own.

or are you looking for a playmate while your partner is away? but will join him after, with the details?

[WesternSwing]

deanncat, you have some very good questions and concerns. My wife and I do play solo on occasion, however it is something we moved into over a period of about 3 years as opposed to started out with. For some, starting solo may work, for others it won't. The bottom line is, if you don't feel comfortable swinging without hubby present, than don't. Wait until you find the guy that will do a MFM. And we feel your pain there too. Most men we meet outside the lifestyle that have an interest in Mrs. WS don't want me there either. They just don't get it, and I could go on and on about my theories on why they are opposed to MFM, but I won't hijack this thread with that.

I would personally find a guy from a swinger's dating site or go to a swingers party together. In my opinion (based on experience), trying to initiate many vanilla men is not worth your time - as you've found out.

And only do what you are comfortable with. If this is only with hubby, than so be it. Only do it that way.

Mr. WS

[tribbles]

If you are not comfy doing it without him, don't do it. Just be patient and keep looking.

Have you looked on Swing Lifestyle for any clubs near you to visit?

[MRnMSbhaven]

If he is comfortable (you know him better than us) can't imagine why you feel its cheating....

This type of playing works for many couples, you just have to find what you both cmfortable with, never know unless you try.....

Interesting that this should arise. Mr B asked me if I'd be interested in play whithout him.
It didn't initialy strike my fancy. I didn't really like the idea/feel of him not being involved.

After a bit of brief soul searching however, I'm game for it but there's a catch.
He has to be the one to pick the "playmate" (from a pre-approved list), the place, the outfit, the shoes, everything. Then my job is to have fun and report back everything and his to shag me silly (again).

Ms. B

[Miss Sunshine]

I have to agree that it could be a disaster. If he didn't pick the guy for you and you found someone then he would be thinking it was a man you have been with before or always wanted to be with. Man + woman with another guy=jealousy. I would suggest it be a mutual selection, he plays the dress up game as suggested, but that you figure our a way for him to watch. I don't like the solo play idea but I wouldn't mind enjoying another man or woman by myself, while he watched me. Oh, what a show i would put on, Hmmmmm? Shelley you doing anything later? hee hee hee

[Edison Carter]

Susan here-- What you seem to be looking for is one-on-one play with another guy and noone else around. That's not Swing play per se. It's really consensual sex in an open marriage. One problem in finding a mfm swing partner is that you may be looking in the wrong places. Listings on Swing Lifestyle/adultfinder for single men interested in mfm play, or, attending a Club might place you in an environment where you are more likely to find what you want. Just my thoughts.