A question only for those who play alone....

[couplewanting50]

A question addressed to those who play alone....

[not to those who don't]

How did you come to do that and what do you like about it? It seems a step beyond playing separately.

I think it would be really hot if she did.

[here2play]

I am the F part of a couple. I started playing alone at his request, for a few reasons. One, my sex drive is super high and he sometimes travels for work, so we decided I could have "girlfriends" to keep me satisfied. Second, it turns him on like you would not believe, when I confess to him my "playdates" and describe for him what our activities consisted of. We are both pleased.

[socolais]

I took advantage of a recent opportunity to attend a house party alone and try to evaluate the excitement level for myself. I did play briefly, but my real interest was in absorbing the sexual atmosphere. I didn't get anywhere near the sexual charge I would have if my wife had been there with me.

Separate beds, separate rooms, separate states - it's simple geography. It's whe we get into separate times that we cross a new dimension, and I guess we work better as a team (at least in the time domain).

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by couplewanting50

A question addressed to those who play alone....

How did you come to do that and what do you like about it? It seems a step beyond playing separately.

How? Hmmmm, hard to say when or the how... I think during one of our many talks, it just came out that it wouldn't bother him in the least if I played alone, and did I feel the same about him playing alone. This playing alone is NOT with just anyone, this is a joint decision as to "who". It's only something I have only done with one friend and it's not something I'm out looking for, either. It just worked out that particular way with that particular friend. I had not asked to play alone, he had suggested the "when to try it" in that there seemed to be a safe opportunity to do it (we were meeting a friend for a fun weekend - he had to go to work for a few hours), and he thought I should try it if I wanted to. I did - it was fine. I am free to play alone with the one friend when it works out to do so.

I think over time we've decided more of "what" we are, and that definition is that we are not strictly swinger... we lean more towards open marriage or consensual non-monogamy, with a side of swinging. And that more likely than not led to the playing alone.

What I like about it? A lot of things. The lack of distraction for one thing. Playing alone is a different dynamic than together (and I'm more referring to playing together in a threesome). I've only had sex alone prior to swinging, and it is a comfortable default. I like the difference that results from having sex with someone other than my spouse. Mind you, I enjoy playing with my spouse - it isn't a matter of one is better than the other, the two situations are just different.

Most of all, I just like the trust and freedom my spouse has provided. He's a pretty easy-going guy, and he knows that more for me doesn't mean less for him, and different isn't better - it's just different. And different and playing alone is acceptable to both of us.

I'm not sure if by "playing alone" you mean separate rooms, so I won't go into that dynamic.

I do agree, it could be a step beyond swinging in many instances.

[couplewanting50]

Originally Posted by rpu3

How? Hmmmm, hard to say when or the how... I think during one of our many talks, it just came out that it wouldn't bother him in the least if I played alone, and did I feel the same about him playing alone. This playing alone is NOT with just anyone, this is a joint decision as to "who". It's only something I have only done with one friend and it's not something I'm out looking for, either. It just worked out that particular way with that particular friend. I had not asked to play alone, he had suggested the "when to try it" in that there seemed to be a safe opportunity to do it (we were meeting a friend for a fun weekend - he had to go to work for a few hours), and he thought I should try it if I wanted to. I did - it was fine. I am free to play alone with the one friend when it works out to do so.

I think over time we've decided more of "what" we are, and that definition is that we are not strictly swinger... we lean more towards open marriage or consensual non-monogamy, with a side of swinging. And that more likely than not led to the playing alone.

What I like about it? A lot of things. The lack of distraction for one thing. Playing alone is a different dynamic than together (and I'm more referring to playing together in a threesome). I've only had sex alone prior to swinging, and it is a comfortable default. I like the difference that results from having sex with someone other than my spouse. Mind you, I enjoy playing with my spouse - it isn't a matter of one is better than the other, the two situations are just different.

Most of all, I just like the trust and freedom my spouse has provided. He's a pretty easy-going guy, and he knows that more for me doesn't mean less for him, and different isn't better - it's just different. And different and playing alone is acceptable to both of us.

I'm not sure if by "playing alone" you mean separate rooms, so I won't go into that dynamic.

I do agree, it could be a step beyond swinging in many instances.

My meaning of playing separately is she is in one room in the hotel or house with a man and I am in another room of the house or hotel with a woman.

My meaning of playing alone is that I am at home and she has gone somewhere to be with a man, or possibly couple.

By a step beyond playing separately, I meant that she is being sexual in a different place than my current location, but it is different in that is is a sexy initiative on her part, and that my wild pleasure is in being at home imagining. We came to know playing separately and love it. Her playing alone now and then makes my cock really twitch.

I can see how it could be construed as somewhat of a philosophical move beyond that of the typical swinging world.

The place I would draw the line, at least currently, is that I would not want her staying overnight with someone. I do like the idea that she is so sexual that she can enjoy more in a different setting from me. This freedom is a gift I give her.

Thank you for your post.

[WesternSwing]

Mrs. WS was the first to play solo. It was with the husband of a couple we had played with on several occasions and he'd never played alone either, although his wife did all the time (she had some insecurity issues with him playing solo, he had none with her doing it). Since we knew each other well it was "safe" for all parties involved so the other wife and I set it up for them. She called me while he was driving her back to her car and when I answered she sang "Dirty deeds, DONE DIRT CHEAP!"

From there I started setting-up solo playdates for her with a single guy we'd had some threesomes with that she really had the hots for. We call them "missions". Or she'd call and ask if it was okay if she went and saw him after work or during lunch. We always had great sex ourselves when she'd get home.

I didn't play solo for about a year-and-a-half after that. And we still have our boundaries with it. For instance, Mrs. WS doesn't like me playing solo if she is waiting at home alone for me. She doesn't mind if I do it while she is working during the day since she is busy anyway. I don't mind if she does in the evening. I see it as her taking "me time" and getting away from reality for a little while.

So even though we do play solo, we still have set boundaries on what we are each comfortable with.

Mr. WS

[GoNatural]

Originally Posted by couplewanting50

I do like the idea that she is so sexual that she can enjoy more in a different setting from me. This freedom is a gift I give her.

I am a single guy that would love to spend my life with such a woman. I fully understand where you are coming from.


All of the replies were great, but I must say that rpu3 really made some excellent points.

That's the life that I desire. Lucky you!

[willyoats]

For her, it was one time when she was at our summer place at a nudist camp that had a lot of swingers. I had to go away for the day on business. She was decorating another cabin for a wedding reception. A guy offered to help. After that they went back to our place where he offered a massage. She has a weakness for that kind of attention. One thing lead to another.

The best parts for her were the unexpectedness and the lack of distraction. He was a so-so sex partner, but the experience was, on the whole, enjoyable but not worth repeating.

For me, I entertain a longtime swinging partner at our house when my wife is away. Wife usually knows when the other woman will be here and wants us to be done before she gets home (or at least keep the door closed). As one post above notes, the big no-no is for the other woman to sleep overnight. In a way, that is a bummer because for me sex in the morning is best. However, my loyalty will ALWAYS be to my wife. I NEVER go against anything that she has explicitly requested. We have 45 years of trust built up and nothing is worth screwing that up.

For me, the enjoyment is simply being able to take as much time as we wish for sex and lots of cuddling before and afterward. At the clubs and house parties, usually there is not as much time as I would like to both make love and then savor the moment afterwards.

The downside is that my wife is not into this kind of activity now as much as she used to be. She seems happy enough to have me do what I want, but I detect an undercurrent of unease. So maybe I will stop this in another year or two.

[strathmore]

Originally Posted by here2play

I am the F part of a couple. I started playing alone at his request, for a few reasons. One, my sex drive is super high and he sometimes travels for work, so we decided I could have "girlfriends" to keep me satisfied. Second, it turns him on like you would not believe, when I confess to him my "playdates" and describe for him what our activities consisted of. We are both pleased.

A minor variation on the cuckold/hotwife scenario Usually it's a second guy (the bull) that she sees. I know a few couples who do this and the men find it a real turn on to hear about the date. I met a lady once at her hubby's request while he worked in his home office next door. I'm betting he was in there pretty quickly after I left.