Is it wrong to have our children home when we play?

[bimrdcpl]

I hope that I am putting this in the right area......
Anyway I need you all to help me with this, my husband and I have been wanting to have fun with all the great people we have been meeting but every time we set something up our sitter either cancels or we just cant find one at all. Our children are small so leaving them alone is not an option. So my question to you is....is it wrong to have them in the house? I am NOT talking about right there underfoot but in bed sleeping while we are at the other end of the house? I am having trouble deciding if we should go this route or just give up the lifestyle till they are older and can be left alone but that will be in about 7 years.
Am I a terrible mom for even thinking this or just being silly?

[Terrileex]

Hi, Its not wrong to have them and the kids in your house at the same time. You need to be sure you know and trust whoever you bring around your kids. you just need to be really really sure that they are not going to walkin or somehow catch you. You need to have a sure fire way of knowing if they are coming. It is really a better idea to not have them there but if you know for a fact they they won't see or hear anything, sometimes you just don't have a choice/ Good Luck

[OhioCouple]

By no means are you being a terrible Mom. What you are is being considerate of all parties involved and trying to find a solution.

I remember the days of sitters, no shows and cancellations all too well. Even though I was not a swinger while my children were growing up (I was for the most part a single mom) I still wanted to date (no strings attached) and yes have sex. Sort of like swinging in a sense. One thing I would not do though is bring anyone around my children that I was not in some way atrracted to for only sex and I had to know them very, very well. Children are very perceptive little beings and I do think that they pick up on things even at a very young age. At least mine were.

Given your situation and the age of your children, personally I would hold off and wait for when all the cards fall in the right position and not bring people into your home. Most importantly is the fact that if these are not people that you have known for a long time and "know" them very well, the thought of bringing someone into your home not only jepordizes your sanctuary but your most priceless pieces of your heart.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

Lori

[Flori_DAMAN]

I would focus on finding a better sitter. Swinging or not, you need to get out once in a while anyhow.

Maybe you could go out half as often and pay the sitter twice the going rate. If you are near a good size city consider a professional nanny agency. You will undoubtedly pay more for these services than the 18 year old neighbor, but cancellations are rare and regardless of a few isolated reports of bad nannies overwhelmingly they screen very carefully and are licensed and well trained.

Personally, I don't consider swinging with kids in the house as an option. John.

[SwingerSet]

check this out

While we have played in others homes while their kids were sleeping, its not the best choice . We have spent alot of time finding babysitters that are both reliable and trustworthy, Now we have a long list of them we can call (some on very short notice) so if one cancles we can usually get another.

Good luck in your search for babysitters.

J.J.

[Alura]

Hi, Bimrdcpl!

Some years ago we met a couple who had bought their house with swinging in mind. The house has a "Mother-in-Law's" suite in one end which can be locked and has an outside entrance. The kids slept upstairs at the other end of the building and had been taught not to intrude into their parents private domain. Couples could be admitted through the private entrance; the kids never knew they were there. In short, there was little chance of being discovered.

We have several non-playful couple friends with kids the same age as ours. We can usually arrange an "overnight" with one of the families if we plan ahead.

There is no hard-and-fast answer to your question. Use your creative mind!

Alura

[JustAskJulie]

Here's two more topics that hit on this same question:



Parents who Swing

Swinging with Kids in the House

[bimrdcpl]

Thank you all for the quick reply's and as much as I would love to have my fun I have come to the conclusion my kids are not worth risking anything over. Everyone has brought up great points, and even though they are small and heavy sleepers it will be to uncomfortable for the other party. Hubby and I are used to being interupted but it would have to be horrifing for the 3rd party.

Julie, I read the other posts that you put up there and have never heard of the Van Damme case. I tried to acess the link for it and had no luck is there any other way to acess it?

Have a Great Holiday everyone and thanks for the advice.

[JustAskJulie]

Here's the correct link for the topic on the Van Dam case:

Swinging in the News - The Van Dam Case

[darling]

I agree with your decision. Kids should come first and as parents, its our job to protect their innocence. Especially in this day and age when they are exposed to so much.

The local YMCA and the local Junior High school in our City has babysitting classes where they are taught basic first aid and babysitting lessons. You may try contacting those.

[Ellie & Ken]

You are not a bad mother, I have met some cpls that had to do it that way. but it was very difficult to do as the kids tend to wake up and need things such as drink and go potty, What might be a good suggestion is to find a swinger friend with kids of the age to babysit for you, or to contact a swinger person that you trust perferbly female as they usually have a built in mothering instinct especially if they have small children of thier own, If you are her in washington state in the puget sound area or even kitsap county area then we may be able to help you find someone responsible enough to babysit for you, the other thing you might think about if you are a bi fimale in the cpl then maybe getting a live-in trustworthy bi female to be a nanny with benifits.
hope this helps you to make a good decision just so you know I have raised kids since I was 23 yrs old I am now 43 I have 1 son and 3 daughters my youngest is 10, I have also been takeing care of kids since i was thriteen as my mother was a in home daycare and also a foster parent.
I am divorced and have 3 kids of my own and now am getting ready to get married to a beautiful woman 4 yr my senior with a ten yr old daughter, which is my youngest daughter now as far as i am concerned we swing my children know of it and sometimes i get my oldest girl age 17 to watch her sisters for us.

[JustAskJulie]

Along the lines of the previous post. If you can meet other swinger couples with kids perhaps you could all trade off on who babysits. You babysit their kids so they can go out one weekend and the next weekend they get yours.

[Ellie & Ken]

thx julie i hadnt even thought to give them that idea

[bimrdcpl]

Thanks alot for all your replies. The finding other swingers idea is a great one but the only problem with that is finding a sitter in order to meet other couples. Its just a mean mean circle. I have been a mom since I was 18, I love my children with every fiber of my being. So I just need someone that I can trust with my life. We are in the "Detroit" area. Actually we are about a half hour from Detroit. But thank you for the offer to help us look. I am sure we will figure something out soon. Thanks for the support.

See you all soon
Dawn

[Ellie & Ken]

where are you exactly i am a member of several groups on msn and yahoo which all of them are swingsers and / or nudists with most of them having very high family valuesif you want i can post a message leaveing out your email names or real names and location and have them go through the message boards and then post thier replys to this board and then you can contact them and interview them maybe finding someone close by for you let us know.