Ever been caught by kids during a swingers party???

[Fabiana-Bi-FL]

Hi guys i know the topic "swinging with kids at home" have been approached before but i don't think this question has ever come up,have anyone ever been caught by their kids or the hosting couple's kids during a swingers party that was thrown at home while the kids were supposely sleeping????
It has happenned to me once but it wasn't a party it was just me and this couple at their apartment and we were caught in the living room by their 5 year old daughter that supposely was a hard sleeper,lol...Ok hope to hear your thoughts on it and experiences,thanks...

[Spoomonkey]

The chance of this happening is the reason we would never play at someone's house if they had kids there.

We were in a situation early in our experiences where the kids were asleep upstairs and the couple led us into some light play. Afterwards, we felt so awkward about it that we knew we couldn't do that again.

My advice - send the kids to the sitters or AT LEAST take your play behind locked doors. Swinging is great, but when you potentially warp a kid's mind with it, you've turned it into a rather ugly thing.

Common sense is a great guide.

Spoomonkey

[Mari and Mike]

This would really kill it for us... What are babysitters for anyway?

[ready2play]

We are very excited by a couple, in the lifestyle who have children. We met at local bars and a couple of times were invited back to there home for a hot tub. As much as I love their company in a vanilla way, I do enjoy playing with them. Recently, we all had family parties on a sat. night and all day we all agreed to meet late after the parties at their house. The talk was HOT all day so play was on all of our minds. We left our party and called, they said they had their young one home.. We were already in that position where play had happened in the hot tub with kids home. Sadly, this made us uncomfortable to be in that position with them again. We told them this on the phone and again they said the kids stay in their room. I really like the couple and fear they won't talk to us again after not going when we found out about the kids home. I am sure that we would have went if we had spent the evening with them, and just NOT played when we went to their house. Easier said then done! Any ideas out there to help our situation?

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

The chance of this happening is the reason we would never play at someone's house if they had kids there.

Big Dito here.

[invernesscpl]

We would never play when kids are in the house. It's just not smart under any circumstance.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

We were in a situation early in our experiences where the kids were asleep upstairs and the couple led us into some light play. Afterwards, we felt so awkward about it that we knew we couldn't do that again.

This happened to us too, and while we are ok with VERY young children in the house, their 12 and 10 year old who were awake when we got there and sent to bed REALLY made us uncomfortable. They said they never leave their rooms at night, blah blah blah, but as time goes on the more I think about it, the more it freaks me out.

[SoulmatesNky]

Well, I guess I will go against the concensus here.

We have played at our house with our kids there. Although we take the precautions to make sure that it is well past the kid's bedtime and we are behind locked doors.

For us, we have always used a locked door for privacy during intimacy (nothing can ruin a mood then when a child walks in ) and our kids are aware that if our door is locked we are not to be disturbed. We have made it plain to them that there are times that we need to be alone. Although the oldest knows we are probably just "in there kissing." We believe it is healthy for a child to realize that we as parents are intimate and have a loving relationship.

Now, we expressly advertise to other couples that we CAN NOT entertain at our house. But if we really trust a couple then we might invite them over for dinner and 'cards' into the late night. We also have a very large two story victorian home with the upstair separated from downstairs by a door. We have 3 bedrooms upstairs and one guest bedroom downstairs with an outside entrance. So our house and the young age of our children is conducive to these activities.

We play with our current couple at our house and just recently quit because the other couple was becoming uncomfortable with the idea. We are very disappointed but understand. This will naturally limit our play time with this wonderful couple because we just don't have the financial means to share hotel room costs, club expense, and all-night babysitting costs very often, so naturally, we will not be able to play with them very often here on out. As a matter of fact, we have had about 5 vanilla outings with them in the last three months and only had one night that would have worked for play but for my wife's monthly. :rollseyes

A party? We would never throw a swing party.... eee-gads.... with our children home and really would never throw a party at our home in the first place. There is just too many ways to effect the kids doing that (and not just on the party night... but on the general reputation of our household). Our children deserve to be proud of their parents.... not to have to defend them. We also would not engage in playing with another couple at THEIR home with their kids home UNLESS we have respect for them as parents and feel that adequate precautions will be taken.

Now all that being said.... very soon our oldest child will just get too old for us to be swinging there at all.

There are times I feel we have gotten into swinging too early,
we should have waited ten years Surrender

[Floorman56]

Our biggest worry about the kids is that they are adults now and I can't send them to bed. We host parties for our club at our house and we always worry that one of the kids my want to show up for a surprise visit. ( yea there will be LOTS of surprises)

[bill&sabrina]

Being caught by either our kids or our playmates kids would kill the mood, for sure. It isn't however a risk we wouldn't take. I am not suggesting being blatant, but we would play with kids in the house. I don't look at being caught as something that would warp a childs mind, unless the parent let it warp their mind. I always find humor in people worrying that swinging can be devastating to children, but they still swing. Just amazing that people participate in something as horrible as swinging obviously is. Add my name to the list of people that just don't care.
Bill

[Chicup]

When I was 12 or so, and was starting puberty, I was pretty confused about sex.

I was told 'how' but beyond that I didn't understand and had some pretty fragile feelings with it. I remember watching Real People and they had some guy on who was a nude model for art class and I had to stop watching because the thought of a guy taking of his clothes to SHOW women just seemed WRONG.

Obviously I had some issues.

Now just imagine if, at this age, I was curious as to what was going on with my parents and their old friends Tom and Ann, and peeked in only to see my mother getting nailed by Tom while Ann sat on her face. I think 'scared for life' comes to mind. (no this didn't happen)

I wouldn't do it to my kid and I sure wouldn't want to do it to someone elses either.

Your kids come before your play time.

[Alura]

Chicup wrote:

Your kids come before your play time.

There's no disagreement with that, Chicup, but I kinda think parents set the groundwork for kids' understanding of things sexual. It can either be done poorly (like our parents did) or it can be done well, as we all hope we are doing.

We played with the kids in the house when they were much younger, but only when we were able to make sure we had plenty of warning should they get out of bed. They never did, by the way.

Today, we feel we've talked to our kids so much about sex, drugs, rock 'n roll and country, that we'd have no trouble explaining our reasons for our actions to them if the subject comes up. We get more and more assured that will happen. Probably soon. They know we post on this site and have met some Board Members, but have never asked us to explain just what "swingers" are. When they ask, we'll tell them the truth, as always.

Still, being interrupted in the act is not an embarassment we'd care to deal with, so we haven't played in the house for a long time.

Alura

[Jamie&Kieth]

I guess we're against the norm here but do not make a big deal out of it.

Yes we got caught in the act by our oldest daughter, our son took to "spying" on us one afternoon and our next to youngest daughter actually came out & asked us. Although we were surprised by the situation we also take the time along with patience, to explain (our opinion) on the differences between love and sex along with our reasons for swinging to our children.

We may be in the minority, but if we try to hide and be deceitful about our lifestyle then it seems we are teaching kids that swinging is wrong. Of course when we explain & discuss our lifestyle to our kids, we incorporate a trust & responsibility they must understand.

Our situation may be different from others in that we have sex only with friends/couples that are regular friends with & enjoy being with them. We do not go to "swing clubs" or hotels but usually arrange get togethers when we know the "children" are out

Kieth & I have always been upfront & honest with our children and go with the theory that if they are old enough to ask then they deserve the correct answer. Another thing to remember is kids always know more than you think they know. With the internet, the news and TV, swinging appears to be almost harmless.

[Jessie B]

Use vaseline when swinging. Smear it on the doorknob and the kids can't open the door.

[twoplayful2]

If our kids were still infants we'd have no problem with it. If they were just a couple years younger, depending on the exact circumstance, we might do it once we knew they were in bed and asleep, and then we'd make sure our door was locked. Our oldest just turned 12 and even suspecting that us and another couple were in our bedroom with the door locked would start her thinking about things I'm sure we don't want her thinking about so there is no way we'd do it at home now. Once our kids are adults, if they accidentally found out then we'd (uncomfortably) explain things to them about our views on sex, etc. Before that, we're just not going to take the risk that them knowing some of the things we do might steer them down the wrong path somehow.