If your adult children expressed an interest in swinging?

[Paramour2_99]

To those of you who may have adult children. What would you do if you found out that they're curious or experimenting in some forms of swinging? What would your reactions be?

[CB_n_Red]

One of them already did suspect so she asked us whether we were swingers. We don't lie to our kids so we said that yes, we are. Her response, after a moment of thought - "you do have a very solid relationship". So, no problem, no hassle, no worries. For our part we are very pleased that she felt she could ask and also that she is happy to accept the situation.

CB

[Spoomonkey]

I would use the opportunity to discuss how strong a relationship has to be to survive swinging. This would open the door for me and my wife to mentor them in the important areas like communication, trust, etc. I would neither encourage nor discourage swinging, but I would share with them the benefits that we have experienced and let them, as adults, choose for themselves.

Spoomonkey

[graygo98]

This morning I heard an interview with former Canadian heavyweight champ George Chuvalo. (If you haven't heard of him, he was a big part of the inspiration for Rocky. One time he was getting literally hammered by George Foreman and the ref stopped the fight. Chuvalo said, "Are you nuts?") Outside the ring, Mr. Chuvalo lost two sons to a drug overdose and one to suicide. As a result of this loss, his wife also took her own life.

Listening to him speak I thought of how terrible his loss was, and wondered how he could have survived. Then I read this post and thought, "How sillly. If the worst thing I ever learn about my children is that they are swingers I will die a very happy man."

If they ask me for advice at all, I will follow Mr. Spoo's lead.

BTW, Mr. Chuvalo now works for drug awareness charities speaking to kids about what can happen to you if you get involved with drugs.

[Vespertine]

It would not bother me in the least if either of my children (when grown) were to contemplate swinging or any other non-traditional sexual lifestyle. If they chose to share their curiosity with me, I would also follow Spoo's lead.

Their sexuality is their business, not mine.

[jennandjamesinm]

I'm with CB and Red, Spoo and Ves on this one.....We don't lie to our children. When they are older and if they ask, we will be honest and tell them, with out details of course. Like Ves said their sexuality is their business not ours and vice versa. But what a wonderful opportunity to share with them to share about the important areas of a strong marriage - Communication and Trust.

Jenn

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Paramour2_99

To those of you who may have adult children. What would you do if you found out that they're curious or experimenting in some forms of swinging? What would your reactions be?

You have said that you and your wife used to swing. Did your children ask about your decision to swing? Or do you think they know about your past even if they've never brought up to you?

How did/would you handle the situation you are asking about?

LM

[starlinn]

Great Question LM. We have always felt, from the time my children were born, that we would respect the decisions that they make. They were a gift from God, we have done what we can to instill sound judgement in them, and hope that they make the decisions they make based on the learnings that we have taught them.
If one of my children came to me and asked if we were swingers, I would be honest with them. We always expect that from them, no matter what, so they will receive the same respect.
If one of my children came to me and told me they were thinking of becoming an active swinger, our first concern was the relationship they had with their SO, and give them advice on how important this is.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Paramour2_99

To those of you who may have adult children. What would you do if you found out that they're curious or experimenting in some forms of swinging? What would your reactions be?

Great minds think alike

I'd only caution my child if I thought they were doing it for the 'wrong' reasons, like fixing a bad marriage.

[VegasLee]

Laura and I have six kids, six grandkids and two more on the way. All but one of the kids are adults and out of the house. The Eleven year old is still home.

All of the adult kids are very aware of our lifestyle. A little hard to hide since I am a very public Lifestyles Advocate. I deal with all Lifestyles, not just "swingers." I am on T.V., Radio and in the paper very often. The kids over all are proud of us and what we stand for.

Two of our older girls have shown up at the club we host at. One came back more then once. We have always had a very open relationship with the kids. They will talk to us about anything and everything. Since they are now adults and have our life experiences and their own to run their lives by they are welcome in the Lifestyle if they feel it is for them. Since they are all younger adults most of them are not active like we are in it.

Our oldest boy does not really approve of our lifestyle but he does not look down on us for it. He goes his own way with his own family. It works for him and us.

We don't play the game of "do as I say and not as I do" with our kids. They are adults and get to live their life the way they see fit. We may not always agree with their choices but it is their choices, not ours.

Best way for people to not be hurt in life is to not hide things from them or lie to them. Keep it simple.

[JnCC]

My oldest daughter just turned 25, a newly-minted attorney with a centerfold body. She lives a block from the beach in L.A., plays volleyball and runs 3-5 miles a day. She knows about me and her former step-mom, and it's no biggie. Her sex life would put either of ours to shame any day of the week.

My other 2 kids have some idea, but not the details. When they're old enough to ask, they'll be almost old enough to tell, which I will, in due time. If they grow up associating "sex" with "shame" it won't be because they've learned it from me.

I'm not worried that my kids will learn that I used to be a swinger, I'm worried that they'll learn I used to be a Baptist. Now that would shock the shit out of 'em for sure...

[curiousagain]

I give my children advice from my own experience and my own judgement no matter what they are doing. I would do the same with swinging.

If your kids express an interest in something you have knowledge about, you tend to try to give them good advice and point them in the direction they can get more knowledge of it.

[Jamie&Kieth]

3 of our 4 children know we enjoy sex with a close group of our friends and though we are/try to be discreet when we have our get-togethers we have always been open and honest with our children. Our kids know we enjoy sex but they also understand that we enjoy many other activities that do not involve sex.

We have told all our children how much we are in love with each other and how strong and honest our relationship is. We have also tried to explain to them (in our wacky opinion) that yes there s a difference between love and sex. We share our love but also we enjoy having group sex with our friends because it is fun and something we enjoy.

My daughter has told me she is sexually active but also realizes that sex is not the most important thing in life. She has admitted to me that she has experimented with some of the other kids her age at the nudist resort/camp we go to during the summer and understands the maturity level that is necessary when sex is involved in a relationship. We are open and honest with all of our children and go along with the theory that if they are old enough to ask a question then they deserve the correct honest answer.

Trust me, kids know more that you think they know. My 13 year old daughter this past spring came home crying, she was worried that the DSS would come and take her away because she knew we "had sex with our friends". I asked her brought this up and she replied that in "sex ed class" they read an article about a married couple who operated a porno sight on the internet, found out and took the kids away.

So the bottom line is if our children decided on their own to enjoy a swinging lifestyle it would not be a problem with us. Enough said ... I have rambled on long enough.