family question

polite · 07-30-2005, 01:54 AM

Here's a question for swingers with children. What/How much do your kids know about your lifestyle (especially those with older children) and for those who do how do you keep your play separate?

Polite

intuition897 · 07-30-2005, 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polite

Here's a question for swingers with children. What/How much do your kids know about your lifestyle (especially those with older children) and for those who do how do you keep your play separate?

Polite

We have two kids, 8 and 10. Neither of them knows about our hobby (although the 10 year old is suspicious of our mysterious activities, weekend trips, and friends). We go out on 'dates' together. We sometimes will mention that we are meeting friends [from work] for dinner, or that we are going to a party (Can I come too?) No, sorry, it's a party for adults. We will sometimes send the kids to their grandparents' overnight if we plan on having company over. We have never introduced our kids to any of our swing friends as we like to keep those things kinda separate. Just simpler. And we NEVER play with others with the kids in the house! Nor would we play with them at their house if we knew their kids were home. Too risky.

We just make sure our kids know that while they get a large portion of our time, there is also a certain portion of time that is ours and not theirs. What we do with it is our business, and not for them to question. They seem to accept that...so far.

CB_n_Red · 07-30-2005, 05:24 AM

Our youngest (aged 20) knows about it. She had been having suspicions for a long time and eventually asked us whether we were swingers. We told her the truth (but not the details). She seems fine with it. In fact she even commented on how solid our relationship is.

The older two don't know. If they ask, we'll tell them, but we aren't about to volunteer the information.

CB & Red

txduo2000 · 07-30-2005, 11:36 AM

We have ALOT of kids (7 between us, in fact). The oldest is grown and out of the house and lives in another city and has no clue what we do in our free time, nor does he really care.

We only have two that live with us full-time. They are 16 and 13. The 13 year old is completely clueless ... but for some reason, the 16 old asked us one time, "how's the couples dating going?". We changed the subject, told him we didn't know what he was talking about and moved on with our lives. It hasn't come up again. :rollseyes

The other four live with their other parents and are also clueless.

I would not feel the least bit comfortable in our children knowing of our extramarital activities.

We are definitely "closet swingers"

We are like the Intuitions in that we spend quality time with our children and do not have swinger activities in our home when they are home. They have other parents that they visit on weekends, so when we have free time, we try to take advantage of it.

We do have some friends whose children DO know ... and in fact, when they are going out, their kids will ask them "are you going to a fuck party?"

WesternSwing · 07-30-2005, 12:46 PM

Our kids don't know about the sex part, but they wonder why we have so many new friends.

Our kids are 14, 11, and 3, so the two older are the ones we have to be most discreet around. Which is hard, because they are always around within ear-shot. This can sometimes (okay, most of the time) make it difficult to talk about swinging; the before and after-talk that needs to be done. It's hard to talk about situations that could happen on an upcoming date and recap what did happen the night before so that Mrs. WS and I are on the same page.

We have also become good friends with four couples we swing with, two of which even came to my birthday BBQ. One couple has kids the same age and the kids have had sleep-overs. But when the family is around we are totally, completely vanilla.

We do not play at our house at all, because we always have kids present. When we go out the oldest babysits the younger two. So we always have to play at other's homes or hotels. Many of the couples we have played with don't have kids, or are on second marriages and don't have kids every other weekend, so this usually doesn't present a problem. And then of course, are the hotels.

Mr. WS

VegasLee · 07-30-2005, 12:50 PM

We have six kids and six grandkids. (more on the way, grandkids that is) Five of the kids are adults and out of the house. They are all aware of our lifestyle. No, we don't sit and explain the details of what we do but they know we are "swingers."

The Eleven year old at home came to me one day telling me she knew about the "clulb" that I help run. I asked her what she knew and she said that "only adults can go there, that she heard it has naked ladies at it." I told her she was right, that it is for adults only and she left it at that. She is a smart kid, knows when not to push for to many answers to questions she really does not want the answers to.

We found being honest is the best way in life with everyone including the kids. Only things that are hidden or lied about can cause hurt in the long run.

Nova · 07-31-2005, 10:28 AM

I keep waiting for our oldest (14) to catch Mrs. Nova saying "I'd do her"

Nova

**two4youinswva** · 07-31-2005, 03:03 PM

Ours knows nothing. When we go out, it is "Mom & Dad's Date Night". Which also coordinates well with the "Monthly Visit to the Grandparents"

billnjen · 08-01-2005, 11:44 AM

what if you get caught in action, what would you do???????

billnjen · 08-01-2005, 11:45 AM

what would you do if the kids caught you in action.,??????????????

txduo2000 · 08-01-2005, 11:45 AM

If people don't play at their homes with their children home, how would they get caught?

Most of the people I know, here and otherwise, do not play at home with their children home, and don't play at other places with children present. It's just not good sense.

twoplayful2 · 08-01-2005, 11:57 AM

When they get old enough they might just get wiser to your lame excuses for where you're at and how late you're out lol.

Our kids are 8 and 11, I don't really see how they should have any clue at all at that age. We do have an indian casino nearby that has two great dance clubs, all the gambling stuff, etc, etc, and we are legitimately out till the wee hours of the night when we go there so it's not really a stretch to go to a club. The only real caution is sneaking the BYOB booze out of the house lol

CB_n_Red · 08-01-2005, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by txduo2000

Most of the people I know, here and otherwise, do not play at home with their children home, and don't play at other places with children present. It's just not good sense.

Got to agree with that 100%!

That's one of the reasons we are looking forward so much to the end of September - the youngest goes off to university and for the first time in 25 years we'll have the house to ourselves

CB & Red

CB_n_Red · 08-01-2005, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twoplayful2

When they get old enough they might just get wiser to your lame excuses for where you're at and how late you're out lol.

I wouldn't underestimate the ability of kids, even fairly young ones, to put two and two together! We thought we were being very careful, but obviously not careful enough.

CB & Red

Chicup · 08-01-2005, 03:31 PM

We went to a couples home last month and did some light play with their 12 and 7 year old daughters at home and upstairs

To be honest it really bothered us and we cut the night short.

Swingers Ads	Swinger Pics	Swinger Stories	Shopping	Search Swingers	Swingers Clubs	Swinger Articles	Dictionary	FAQs	Swinger Links
Forums	Register	Swinger Events	Search	Today's Posts	Mark Forums Read	Chat Room

07-30-2005, 01:54 AM	#1 (permalink)
polite Registered Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Chattanooga, TN Status: single male	family question Here's a question for swingers with children. What/How much do your kids know about your lifestyle (especially those with older children) and for those who do how do you keep your play separate? Polite

07-30-2005, 05:24 AM	#3 (permalink)
CB_n_Red Life's too short not to.. Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 616 Location: East Yorkshire, UK Status: Married Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:CB_n_Red	Re: family question Our youngest (aged 20) knows about it. She had been having suspicions for a long time and eventually asked us whether we were swingers. We told her the truth (but not the details). She seems fine with it. In fact she even commented on how solid our relationship is. The older two don't know. If they ask, we'll tell them, but we aren't about to volunteer the information. CB & Red
	__________________ Take all things in moderation....including moderation

07-30-2005, 11:36 AM	#4 (permalink)
txduo2000 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 662 Location: Dallas TX Area Status: Couple	Re: family question We have ALOT of kids (7 between us, in fact). The oldest is grown and out of the house and lives in another city and has no clue what we do in our free time, nor does he really care. We only have two that live with us full-time. They are 16 and 13. The 13 year old is completely clueless ... but for some reason, the 16 old asked us one time, "how's the couples dating going?". We changed the subject, told him we didn't know what he was talking about and moved on with our lives. It hasn't come up again. :rollseyes The other four live with their other parents and are also clueless. I would not feel the least bit comfortable in our children knowing of our extramarital activities. We are definitely "closet swingers" We are like the Intuitions in that we spend quality time with our children and do not have swinger activities in our home when they are home. They have other parents that they visit on weekends, so when we have free time, we try to take advantage of it. We do have some friends whose children DO know ... and in fact, when they are going out, their kids will ask them "are you going to a fuck party?"
	__________________ Life is not measured by how many breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.

07-30-2005, 12:46 PM	#5 (permalink)
WesternSwing South of disorder Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,973 Location: Utah Status: Single Male	Re: family question Our kids don't know about the sex part, but they wonder why we have so many new friends. Our kids are 14, 11, and 3, so the two older are the ones we have to be most discreet around. Which is hard, because they are always around within ear-shot. This can sometimes (okay, most of the time) make it difficult to talk about swinging; the before and after-talk that needs to be done. It's hard to talk about situations that could happen on an upcoming date and recap what did happen the night before so that Mrs. WS and I are on the same page. We have also become good friends with four couples we swing with, two of which even came to my birthday BBQ. One couple has kids the same age and the kids have had sleep-overs. But when the family is around we are totally, completely vanilla. We do not play at our house at all, because we always have kids present. When we go out the oldest babysits the younger two. So we always have to play at other's homes or hotels. Many of the couples we have played with don't have kids, or are on second marriages and don't have kids every other weekend, so this usually doesn't present a problem. And then of course, are the hotels. Mr. WS
	__________________ "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud

07-30-2005, 12:50 PM	#6 (permalink)
VegasLee Laura's Male Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1,950 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada Status: Laura's Male	Re: family question We have six kids and six grandkids. (more on the way, grandkids that is) Five of the kids are adults and out of the house. They are all aware of our lifestyle. No, we don't sit and explain the details of what we do but they know we are "swingers." The Eleven year old at home came to me one day telling me she knew about the "clulb" that I help run. I asked her what she knew and she said that "only adults can go there, that she heard it has naked ladies at it." I told her she was right, that it is for adults only and she left it at that. She is a smart kid, knows when not to push for to many answers to questions she really does not want the answers to. We found being honest is the best way in life with everyone including the kids. Only things that are hidden or lied about can cause hurt in the long run.
	__________________ You all laugh at me because I am different. I laugh at all of you because you are all the same.

07-31-2005, 10:28 AM	#7 (permalink)
Nova Here to Stay Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 17 Location: Northern VA Status: Couple	Re: family question I keep waiting for our oldest (14) to catch Mrs. Nova saying "I'd do her" Nova

07-31-2005, 03:03 PM	#8 (permalink)
two4youinswva Better than Ice Cream Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 6,651 Location: va Status: Couple. He posts, She reads	Re: family question Ours knows nothing. When we go out, it is "Mom & Dad's Date Night". Which also coordinates well with the "Monthly Visit to the Grandparents"
	__________________ Knew a girl named Nikki I guess you could say....

08-01-2005, 11:44 AM	#9 (permalink)
billnjen Registered Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 7 Location: n.myrtle beach s c Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:billnjen	Re: family question what if you get caught in action, what would you do???????

08-01-2005, 11:45 AM	#10 (permalink)
billnjen Registered Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 7 Location: n.myrtle beach s c Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:billnjen	Re: family question what would you do if the kids caught you in action.,??????????????

08-01-2005, 11:45 AM	#11 (permalink)
txduo2000 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 662 Location: Dallas TX Area Status: Couple	Re: family question If people don't play at their homes with their children home, how would they get caught? Most of the people I know, here and otherwise, do not play at home with their children home, and don't play at other places with children present. It's just not good sense.
	__________________ Life is not measured by how many breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.

08-01-2005, 11:57 AM	#12 (permalink)
twoplayful2 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 218 Location: Riverside, CA Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:twoplayful2	Re: family question When they get old enough they might just get wiser to your lame excuses for where you're at and how late you're out lol. Our kids are 8 and 11, I don't really see how they should have any clue at all at that age. We do have an indian casino nearby that has two great dance clubs, all the gambling stuff, etc, etc, and we are legitimately out till the wee hours of the night when we go there so it's not really a stretch to go to a club. The only real caution is sneaking the BYOB booze out of the house lol

08-01-2005, 03:31 PM	#15 (permalink)
Chicup Not a potential *** Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 4,092 Location: Under the bed Status: Tired	Re: family question We went to a couples home last month and did some light play with their 12 and 7 year old daughters at home and upstairs To be honest it really bothered us and we cut the night short.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
very uncomfortable around family now!!	azwildcat	Swinging Do's Don'ts & How-Tos	22	06-27-2003 12:49 AM