Parents who swing

[MIbbwcpl]

I just have a quick question about parents who swing. Would you all say that being a parent and a swinger is irresposible-even if you don't bring partners home and your kids are taken care of while your out? Should a nursing mother not swing? Is it likely for a parent to catch a STD and pass it on to their kids? (ie crabs, AIDS)

I'm asking this cuz I'm getting bashed BIG time on a parenting board cuz they found out I'm a swinger, just wondering what some OPEN MINDED people think about this.

[JustAskJulie]

I doubt that your bashing has anything to do with it being a parenting board but more likely that they are non swingers and don't understand the lifestyle and would bash you regardless of what the board is or whether or not you have kids.

That said (and I am not a parent nor do I wish to be), I don't think that it is irresponsible to swing if you have children. Not as long as you take proper precautions to seperate your children from the lifestyle and so long as you keep your children as a priority above swinging.

The recent case with the Van Damme's has made this a major issue for a lot of people.

[dave_susie2001]

The recent case with the Van Damme's has made this a major issue for a lot of people.

Ok....get me in the loop here. Who are the Van Damme's and what's going on with them that I should be aware of?

[MIbbwcpl]

The Van Damns had their little girl kidnapped. Unfortunately it's partly being pinned on swinging cuz the parents are swingers and the mom danced with the arsehole who kidnapped their girl. I truthfully don't think the two are corellated, but people like to blame bad things happening on things that society doesn't always find to be the norm. I mean, Columbine was partly blamed on Marylin Manson!

Forgive my spelling errors. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

[Quin]

Originally posted by Michelle:
<strong>I just have a quick question about parents who swing. Would you all say that being a parent and a swinger is irresposible-even if you don't bring partners home and your kids are taken care of while your out? Should a nursing mother not swing? Is it likely for a parent to catch a STD and pass it on to their kids? (ie crabs, AIDS)

I'm asking this cuz I'm getting bashed BIG time on a parenting board cuz they found out I'm a swinger, just wondering what some OPEN MINDED people think about this.

One thing I think that you'll probably learn during this experience is that you have to be EXTREMELY careful about whom you devulge you're a swinger to. Outside of my swinging friends and the people here, the only people in my life that know are my brother and his wife (who are also swingers) and my best friend.

I have been a swinger for all of my 19 year old daughter's life (altho choosing at times to take breaks from the activities for several months dependent upon what was going on in my life). I never brought it home, always swinging at other's homes (I did have a requirement that they also have no kids or in a very few circumstances, that the kids were away with no chance of them appearing) or at the club or hotels, etc etc. To this day, my daughter doesn't have a clue and she never will if I have anything to say or do about it.

Your question about STD's sends up a red flag. I certainly hope that you and your husband are using condoms in your swinging experiences. While there is no 100% safe way to avoid STD's outside of abstinence, condoms are the best choice that is available and should be used by everyone who is having sexual relations outside of their spousal sexual relations, regardless of what anyone says. You have unprotected sex, the danger is always there of contracting/transmitting STD's.

As far as nursing...I didn't nurse my child but took a break from swinging until she was about 2 years old...just because I wanted that time with her and having to work, every single moment that I could spend with her, I was. And even when I returned at that time, my swinging time was extremely limited. I think the decision on this should be left up to every parent as all situations are different, all priorities are different from person to person, etc.

Sheesh must have had a momentary flashback to my drug abuse days...sorry for the repeat paragraph that I just deleted.



Quin

[ 07-24-2002, 12:18 AM: Message edited by: Quin ]

[Quin]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie:
<strong>I doubt that your bashing has anything to do with it being a parenting board but more likely that they are non swingers and don't understand the lifestyle and would bash you regardless of what the board is or whether or not you have kids.

That said (and I am not a parent nor do I wish to be), I don't think that it is irresponsible to swing if you have children. Not as long as you take proper precautions to seperate your children from the lifestyle and so long as you keep your children as a priority above swinging.

The recent case with the Van Damme's has made this a major issue for a lot of people.

Julie is correct...they're bashing because they either don't understand the lifestyle or are preaching their morals to you. Being a parent just adds fuel to their fire and is an avenue for them to further their morality preaching and make you feel *guilty*.



Quin

[sexypairca]

Let me get this straight, swingers must be irresponsible parents because;

1 - they tend to have open lines of communication in their relationship
2 - tend to be more honest in general
3 - they keep their sex lives private from their children
4 - respect one another's limits/show respect others

I'm sure that we have many more irresponsible traits as a community, how awful if our children learned anything from us.

Annette

[MIbbwcpl]

Quin-We do practice safe sex. No glove, no love as it were. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> No going swimming w/o a rain coat. I am aware that some things are transmissable regardless.

This is teaching me a lesson, those lunatics are stalking me on other boards, ruining my rep and causing me to start a new id.

Ty e1 for your input. You guys are all great!

[JustAskJulie]

Here's the link to the original topic on the Van Damme case...

Swinging in the News - The Van Dam Case

[kennlea]

I do have to chime in because I am a nursing mother and we have other children as well.
I can see no reason why a nursing mother should not swing. I bathe when I get home from an encounter so the breasts are clean for the baby.
We think like you do, gotta use condoms no matter what and we are always safty concious. We want to be around to see our kids get married but we also want to have our fun.
We are friends with other swingers but if the kids are around, we don't play. We have had several couples and their kids over for BBQs and swimming. We are adults and can control our hands until we have private times.
I would love to know where this message board is so you can have a friend on your side. <img border="0" alt="[Angel or Devil]" title="" src="graemlins/devil.gif" />
I am sorry you had to go through that. Some people are soooo closed minded.
You are not a bad parent if you swing responsibily.
Lea

[Cheekyimp1]

I totally agree with everyone on here. I have two small children and they are totally separated from my lifestyle. Besides who cares what those sexually repressed people on that board think? You go and have your fun and don't feel an ounce of guilt. Just because you are a parent doesn't mean you have to shut yourself away.

[Alura]

We are both very active in our kids activities. They, of course, play no part in our swinging. There is always the possibility of being "caught" but we make it extremely unlikely. We've been known to play during the day while they are in school and when they are on an "overnight" with friends. Similarly to separating love and funsex, it is not difficult to separate swinging and parenting.

Alura

[dave_susie2001]

Here's the link to the original topic on the Van Damme case...

http://www.swingersboard.com/cgi-bin...c&f=1&t=000302

Thank God I'm back in the land of sane people. I don't know weather to thank you, Julie for that link or not. I just spent the better part of my day today reading the crap on that board. There were some voices of reason (thanks CanadianCouple!) but by and large, these people are idiots who don't have the faintest clue about this lifestyle. They see the swinging culture as a modern day Sodem and Gemorrah where "shadey characters" are introduced into homes with children.

We haven't been in the lifestyle all that long, but we can say with all honesty that the swingers that we have met are, at worst, decent and caring human beings who would never do anything to harm their or anyone elses children; and at best they are the best people we know who would give you the shirt off their backs (Literally!)

Enough preaching to the choir. I feel better now.

[BedroomAccess]

Well, what you do in your bedroom is none of anybody's business as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else. In this case, it can hurt your kids if you contract any STD virus that you can pass on to your kids via breast milk.

Since there is no 100% safe way to play with others ( unless you use condoms and don't do oral and have other couples tested ) - then maybe you should slow down and wait until your kids are little more grown.

[Brian and Jo]

When we started swinging our kids were in their very early teens. They were raised in a nudist environment and were very accustomed to seeing us and our nudist friends with nothing on. They were also comfortable with their own nudity and made good friends with other children at our nudist club. But they had no idea that we had taken the next step and had become swingers. That was something we kept hidden from them at all costs. We only partied at home when they were away on school trips, visiting grandparents or on sleepovers with friends. The fact that we were often out partying elsewhere did not interest them because we had always had a pretty full social life before we entered the lifestyle. To this day we are quite sure they do not know we are swingers and that is the way it should be because what we do in the bedroom is a private matter between us and us alone.
We are pleased to say however that both our son and our daughter have maintained their interest in nudism into adulthood, have introduced their spouses to social nudism and are bringing up their own children with a healthy attitude towards their bodies in households where complete nudity is regarded as quite normal and natural. Some of our best family get-togethers take place at our daughter's house which has a very private yard where everyone can be comfortably nude and relaxed in a completely non-sexual atmosphere. If only they knew what went on when we and our friends are all nude together at our "adult" parties!

Brian and Jo