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Profile pics - public/private/nude?

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We're still getting our profile going, and right now we have exactly one pic. It's a face pic, G-rated, and it's private to boot. So we have a series of questions...

 

Would you email someone that only has private pics?

Would you pass on a couple that didn't have any nude pics?

 

For what it's worth, when we email people, we include the face pic, and ask the same in return - we don't ask for nudes.

 

Finally, what are you looking for in a public pic?

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We don't really look at profiles to initiate contact however if we did we would pass on those that didn't have any public pictures. We have G-rated face pictures publicly posted so it makes it harder to ask for pictures and then "back out" if there isn't an attraction if we had to initiate the email and ask for face pictures.

 

As for nude pictures, we don't post any and would actually appreciate profiles that didn't have any.

 

We like G-rated pictures that show a general idea of body shape and face pictures. If you aren't comfortable with publicly posting face pictures keep one in a private folder and share it with potential couples.

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. . . Would you email someone that only has private pics?

 

Would you pass on a couple that didn't have any nude pics? . . .

If we see no public pictures, the assumption we make is that the profile owners look like like Herman and Lily. We do not expect nude pictures. We prefer to be pleasantly surprised when we first "unwrap" you. We have seldom been disappointed.

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For us, it doesn't have to be a face pic, but we don't usually contact anyone with no public pics. The heads can be cut off or blurred, but at least body shape. I don't care to see nudes, especially if that is the only thing offered.

 

On our profile, we have one nude of me that is public. It is me sitting in the tub and only shows my side and back. I like it because it shows my body shape (I'm a chubby girl) but nothing too explicit.

 

My number one pet peeve for public profile pics is only a close up of the breasts. That doesn't tell me anything about what you or your body looks like.

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We will not initiate contact with anyone that have no pictures - or that only have pictures that don't give a general idea of what to expect (such as closeups of body parts). We put 10 public photos up, all are full body shots expect for one (which is a pic of a face) - three have both of us in the picture. No nudes but one full body shot of her from the back wearing a thong and no top.

 

We will respond to those that contact us regardless of pics since there are probably some that have a "Don't call us, we'll call you" attitude when it comes to initiating contact... But we expect pics on initial contact (or the second message) we've had to ask repeatedly for some to give us photos of the male half and have decided if we have to ask more than once to just politely say no thanks.

 

So to answer your question: Your public pics should give a general and accurate idea of what both of you look like. Nudes and closeups are not needed.

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We have stopped communicating with anyone that is a free member and/or has no photos. We don't need public profile pics up initially if the profile is intriguing. In the end, pics are just one piece of the puzzle. We will never agree to meet a couple on pics alone; make a descriptive profile that stands you out from the rest. Of course, such is just our approach. Others will differ.

 

MrMarvin

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Hey guys! So just took a look across all of your threads and will answer a few things in just this one :)

 

CT is pretty central to about anything you could want. There are so many options open to you if you don't mind a little travel. I guess that really depends on how old your kids are and how comfortable you are with your sitters. We tend to enjoy the NJ Share Nation events and I believe they are going to start another spin off for Hartford, CT. Not sure how close you are to there as I'm too lazy right now to mapquest :rolleyes:

 

There is an SLS Exchange party in Hartford coming up in March also. We will be there and I think we just signed up for the PhillyFriction party in March which also has a good crowd. There is a nice party that they occasionally have in Stratford but it's hit and miss. Last time it was a miss because they planned it on a night where there were three other very big parties already scheduled in the area. I think it's East Coast Connection but will have to double check.

 

We checked out your profile. Highly recommend a couple public photo's. It's pretty easy to see that most just chop off the heads or put a giant spot over the faces. As long as you don't have something that will give you away like a tattoo that is easily identifiable then you shouldn't have any worries. We typically think everyone should have a body shot picture of both the guy and girl available in the public profile. EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE always asks...where are the guy photos because it's a common theme that the wife "sells" the profiles because the guys have spent the last 12 years of their 15-20 married years chugging beers, not giving a rats ass about their appearance :lol: You think I'm joking, wait until you attend an event.

 

What you wrote was very straight forward and lets people know what you are looking for. You may not get many hits being tame but don't let that bother you just understand that many people are searching for full swap. SLS and Kasidie are the two best sites for the area so you have it covered.

 

If you have any specific questions about the area, feel free to PM us. Best of luck!

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I would not email someone that has only private photos, no matter how intriguing their profile. I don't want nude photos, including nude body parts, ever, but photos showing bodies of both halves of a couple are kind of important. We're both pretty laid back when it comes to things like weight, but 200 pounds can be distributed in a lot of ways and only some of them are going to be attractive. So, yeah, photos that show a couple's bodies are necessary if I (because I'm the one who does it) am going to contact anyone.

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"....We typically think everyone should have a body shot picture of both the guy and girl available in the public profile. EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE always asks...where are the guy photos because it's a common theme that the wife "sells" the profiles because the guys have spent the last 12 years of their 15-20 married years chugging beers, not giving a rats ass about their appearance :lol: You think I'm joking, wait until you attend an event."

 

DigginIt-- This is hilarious!!! The really pathetic thing is that most of these men still feel like they are God's gift to women!

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We posted private pictures that are G-rated, but give a clear depiction of what we look like. We don't want public pictures posted for fear of discovery by friends, relatives, clients or co-workers. We are off to a good start. Meeting a couple for drinks, going to a hotel takeover. Very happy we're on SLS.

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Also, just a suggestion to the original poster. I think you guys would be well-served to attend lifestyle events like the aforementioned SLS Hartford hotel takeover. Most couples will respect your limits, but you'll have more choices than meeting people one at a time on the internet. We've met some wonderful couples and have had some awesome experiences. But you really have to experience it. All my reading did not prepare me for the reality, which so far is better than we expected.

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Our profile pictures are a mirror of what we (roughly) expect from others. We only have one picture that is viewable by everyone. It shows us clothed and most of our bodies with blurred faces. In the vetted section of our profile we have face pics of the two of us but no nudes. If we have a connection you will see us naked soon enough.

 

Nude photos on profiles are fine but we don't care either way. Much more important is pictures showing both partners together. So many profiles will have pages and pages of her in a bikini with nothing showing him. How does that communicate a trusting and committed couple?

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Nude photos on profiles are fine but we don't care either way. Much more important is pictures showing both partners together. So many profiles will have pages and pages of her in a bikini with nothing showing him. How does that communicate a trusting and committed couple?

 

To me it just communicates that he is the anchor :P

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Thank you so much for all of your responses. We're taking it all in, and we're definitely going to overhaul our profile.

 

DigginIt, thanks for taking the time to look at our profile! We're talking about going to some kind of club or function. We looked at the SLS hotel takeover, it seemed to us (as rookies) that it was more for the experienced swinger. We'll think it over again. We're thinking of a trip to a Leisure Time (our local club) just to see what that's like.

 

We'll be adding some photos (definitely of both of us) and we're going to make the text a little less matter-of-fact. Thanks again everyone for your input!

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There are two types of hotel take over and you are not always required to have a room at the hotel. You can show up for the event only. What you will sometimes see is that it's an event that takes place on the actual floor and it may or may not have a dance floor but it will be recommended that the timid and shy not attend.

 

Then there are the ones that have a very large rented ballroom, DJ, cash bar provided or byob but it's no different than any club. Well, there will be some partial nudity at some point, a few who can't obey the rules doing something in the corner they shouldn't be doing but mostly, it's like any other club :)

 

Nobody will know you are new and you can hang out, observe and dance with your partner all night and nobody will attack you...unless invited.

 

Often, what you will find at many swinger events are normal people and you will leave and be like, really? That's it?

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Often, what you will find at many swinger events are normal people and you will leave and be like, really? That's it?

 

Yeah, that. Contrary to popular opinion (or porn), sexual deviants are just like everyone else. The other night, I wore a dress and tights combo that would have looked right at home in any restaurant and one of the dinner conversations we had was on water rights and vacation property. Yes, another was on flashing your boobs from the car, but that can happen anywhere. ;)

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For our profile we have clothed pics with the face cropped or hidden in our public pics and basically the same with faces included in our private. We do not put nude or semi-nude in either.

 

So in essence we only expect that same minimum with others. As long as the public pics give a general idea of a couple, faces are not necessary until a potential couple gets close to the meeting stage and even then we do not expect any more than G-rated pics in their private folder. In fact we prefer not to see any nudity ahead of time, since the first time undressing at a play date is part of the thrill.

 

Couples with no photos and just the generic site logo in their public profile or at least one pic of the male will not get any response. Useless you are wearing very distinctive clothing or there is something in the background or environment that clearly allows someone to identify you, there is little risk no matter how "high profile" someone thinks they are and simply no excuse for at least one or two facial obscured pics in a profile.

 

And as I said, while we don't expect any pics to show anything more than your clothed bodies with or without the face (and again, actually prefer that to nudity), it should include most of the torso and not just pics of cleavage, legs/feet or tattoos that we've seen in quite a few profiles.

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Thanks again for all of the advice, and sharing your own comfort levels and experiences. We've updated our profiles on SLS and Kasidie, and added a couple of basic pics. We're going to add more pics soon, we just realized we don't have many pictures of ourselves (at least without kids toys or the laundry in the background), so we need to start taking some. Hopefully, winter will end one day, and we can take off our coats/sweaters/hats!

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Thanks again for all of the advice, and sharing your own comfort levels and experiences. We've updated our profiles on SLS and Kasidie, and added a couple of basic pics. We're going to add more pics soon, we just realized we don't have many pictures of ourselves (at least without kids toys or the laundry in the background), so we need to start taking some. Hopefully, winter will end one day, and we can take off our coats/sweaters/hats!

 

You don't realize that somewhere mid-marriage you just seem to stop taking pictures, lol. And, while the lifestyle increased the frequency and quality of your sex life, a nice side effect is it also quadruples your picture collection, lol.

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