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The weightless and really old in swinger profiles

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I've noticed a pattern viewing SLS profiles. It appears certain couples list their weight as "0" pounds and/or age as "99". While I initially dismissed the first one I saw as a typo, there's too many of them to be random mistakes and all I can think of is an attempt to be deceptive or somehow cleaver. 9/10 ths of the time it is woman's statistics that appear this way (especially in regards to weight), while the man's are within norms, even if not totally truthful. While I know there may still be a stigma by some in vanilla society about a women's weight or revealing her age, we are talking about the LS venue where compatibility and honesty are important factors.

 

So, what's the deal? Typos, deception or just trying to be witty? While we personally don't put priority on the other couple's weight and one can get a sense from a pic anyway (assuming it's recent), age is different altogether as that is a factor in choosing a couple and in that respect a pic can be deceptive and thus if both (but especially the female) does not list a real (or at least believable) age in their profile we will pass them by.

 

While an older woman is a plus for me, I draw the line at a borderline centenarian, though admit one that even gravity has no hold on might be intriguing :lol: .

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There are profiles where they don't want to list their weight so they're 0 pounds. Most of the time, the person is overweight/obese and not comfortable stating their weight. As for those with age 99, I've seen people state that they list their age that way so that they aren't judged or excluded from being considered because they feel that they are too young or too old. However, I would think that if anyone lists their age so oddly, if people are doing a search, the parameters would naturally exclude those people from the result list so it works against them in that case but what do I know....

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If an SLS member makes no entry into the box that is labeled "weight", the SLS software interprets this as a zero. There is no practical way with their software of entering anything that means, "I don't wanna say."

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Profile 101 for us includes recent pics of both of us, our "non fudging" ages, and our "non fudging" weights. So many anecdotes about people showing up for meets and the couple is 5" shorter, 50 pounds heavier, and 15 years older. Awesome, let's play!

 

We also state the "Our pics, ages, weights are recent and accurate" so there is no confusion.

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I rarely see it on new profiles but certed, older profiles, I've seen some say they think chemistry is important and not numbers.

 

I've seen pics of some really nice looking 0 weights. And some nice looking 99 yr olds too.:kissface:

 

And even more who decided their fav number is 69

 

 

Get pics if you can. But even then, wasn't there someone here who once said he met a woman, looked great. When she unpeeled the push it up, tuck it in, lift it up under clothes, it was like being with a totally different lady.

 

So even in person fashion can fool you regarding looks.

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Not to get off topic but you need to also keep in mind that 'generally speaking' you need to enact the +5/10 rule. Looking at ANY given profile, you must assume that the couple is 5 - 10 lbs heavier and 5 - 10 years older. The percentage of liars greatly increase for couples nearing their 50's. I'm not trying to insult anyone here but we see them all the time. Oh, we are 45...yea, 15 years ago.

 

Call me a liar, but this rule proves itself over, time and time again.

 

If you see a couple that says their age is 49, but their join date is 03, you can almost assume they are now 59 and NEVER updated their pictures or their age. Call me a cynic but there are very few people that tell the truth on SLS.

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that's just a few of the reasons we keep ours updated. My wife had weight loss surgery about 6 months ago, and I'd bet anyone following our profile would greatly question that she "used to be" 220 lbs, and over the last several months, with exercise and diet (plus the surgery) her weight has dropped to 165, with 150 insight within this year. Our ages are correct also and up to date. There's a significant difference in our ages and I'm sure some folks think something is out of whack with our profile.. but no...

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that's just a few of the reasons we keep ours updated. My wife had weight loss surgery about 6 months ago, and I'd bet anyone following our profile would greatly question that she "used to be" 220 lbs, and over the last several months, with exercise and diet (plus the surgery) her weight has dropped to 165, with 150 insight within this year. Our ages are correct also and up to date. There's a significant difference in our ages and I'm sure some folks think something is out of whack with our profile.. but no...

 

Something I should have said...most people on the swingers board, who read these threads, do a much better job of accuracy and general concern about their online presence.

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We are some of the offenders spoken of here.

 

On age, some people do look younger than than their actual age. Some people act younger than their age. (The reverse is also true for both) In our case, we prefer to have your actual age as a guideline because we prefer people within 10 years either way, just so that we are likely to have more in common.

 

But with the weight many people have an arbitrary number to cut off their search. For us there is a big difference between a girl who is 5'10 and 190 and a girl who is 5'1 and 190. Of course, you can guess that we are a curvier couple who carry a few extra pounds. We do not list her weight in our profile but on the default picture list is a pic of us from knees up and faces blurred. In the body of the profile she is described as a curvy size 16.

 

So we are a little evasive with a hard number but feel with the default pic and description, we are not being deceptive.

 

After if you find someone attractive or sexy numbers are just numbers.

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yep ShyCouple.. It's a shame some folks don't "break out of their box" .. More than once we've really enjoyed someone (or someoneS) that would not attract us with the profile description or pics. Some of the pics we see are taken by someone that obviously did care how they looked. (insert picture from "Deliverance".)

So many of the "Selfie" shots are just terrible.. at least get a friend to take a decent pic, it's not that hard to keep from looking bad. Maybe take a pic when they are on the way out of the door, dressed for some event, or party.. but the gimmie hats, sloppy jeans and such just turn us off, when in fact, it may be just a bad pic..

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Many women that we would find attractive might not be comfortable giving their exact weight, because they think they're fat and that's okay. Others would not like to be ruled out for their ages, feeling that if you weren't aware they were over 40 or 50 or whatever, they would fit within your parameters for attractiveness, etc.

 

We all judge others when we're looking for playmates, that's just part of the deal. What these folks are doing, though, is refusing to give you some numbers and instead asking that you judge them based on non-numerical criteria. That's just not a problem for me.

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Not to get off topic but you need to also keep in mind that 'generally speaking' you need to enact the +5/10 rule. Looking at ANY given profile, you must assume that the couple is 5 - 10 lbs heavier and 5 - 10 years older. The percentage of liars greatly increase for couples nearing their 50's. I'm not trying to insult anyone here but we see them all the time.

 

Call me a cynic but there are very few people that tell the truth on SLS.

 

Guess we should stop updating our profile's info and pics, and stating that everything is 100% up-to-date and accurate.

 

Seems like keeping up with the Swinging Jones' is about...fudging. If you fudge your "specs", what else do you fudge?

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According to the latest from Miley Cyrus, we're ALL TO OLD TO FUCK.. da bitch don't know nuttin'

 

The only way to make it go away is to stop talking about it.

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I know profiles are really helpful but sometimes all of this fudging, this or that about profiles makes me glad I don't really peruse the profiles very often. We just go out and see what we can reel in (or who reels us in!).

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This is an interesting topic and got me thinking (and looking). I generally don't list my weight because I'm 5'10" and athletic (you know the old saying muscle weighs more than fat) so my listing it, it makes me sound heavy, when in fact I'm not fat at all. My photos are completely accurate and people can see my physique in them. I should probably just put my weight in thinking about it, because of someone is that superficial to cull me based on that, then I don't want to meet them anyway! Thanks for bringing it up, I learned something about myself today.

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We are some of the offenders spoken of here.

 

On age, some people do look younger than than their actual age. Some people act younger than their age. (The reverse is also true for both) In our case, we prefer to have your actual age as a guideline because we prefer people within 10 years either way, just so that we are likely to have more in common.

 

But with the weight many people have an arbitrary number to cut off their search. For us there is a big difference between a girl who is 5'10 and 190 and a girl who is 5'1 and 190. Of course, you can guess that we are a curvier couple who carry a few extra pounds. We do not list her weight in our profile but on the default picture list is a pic of us from knees up and faces blurred. In the body of the profile she is described as a curvy size 16.

 

So we are a little evasive with a hard number but feel with the default pic and description, we are not being deceptive.

 

After if you find someone attractive or sexy numbers are just numbers.

 

I don't see how you can feel that you are not being deceptive?

 

The point is that regardless of how much younger you feel you look or how well you hold your weight, you are luring others under false pretenses. MD and I went out last night with a couple who claimed they were 41/40 and I would bet that neither of them were under 50 and I would say closer to pushing 54/55. I'm sure they feel they look longer than they are and they were both cute and in excellent shape, but it just pissed us off. I have people swear that there is no fucking way I'm over 40 or have an 18 yo in college. The last two couples we slept with were 36m/28f and 37m/31f and we met them all out and about and I would bet that had either of them first clicked on our profile on SLS and saw that we were both 45, they probably would have never even gave us the time of day but it's their right to make any predetermined decision about us.

 

Do we cut ourselves off from potential partners, absolutely, but in our opinion, we would rather play with the ones that know right up front than to be deceitful. I'm still stunned by my wife's, "well, it was nice to meet you but it's time for us to go" exit last night. That's how much it upset her. She absolutely hates putting 155 lbs on her profile but she does.

 

The heart of why we are so rigid on this simply boils down to the fact that our time is precious and we do not get very much of it, so having someone waste it is personal to us.

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I don't see how you can feel that you are not being deceptive?

 

The point is that regardless of how much younger you feel you look or how well you hold your weight, you are luring others under false pretenses. MD and I went out last night with a couple who claimed they were 41/40 and I would bet that neither of them were under 50 and I would say closer to pushing 54/55. I'm sure they feel they look longer than they are and they were both cute and in excellent shape, but it just pissed us off. I have people swear that there is no fucking way I'm over 40 or have an 18 yo in college. The last two couples we slept with were 36m/28f and 37m/31f and we met them all out and about and I would bet that had either of them first clicked on our profile on SLS and saw that we were both 45, they probably would have never even gave us the time of day but it's their right to make any predetermined decision about us.

 

Do we cut ourselves off from potential partners, absolutely, but in our opinion, we would rather play with the ones that know right up front than to be deceitful. I'm still stunned by my wife's, "well, it was nice to meet you but it's time for us to go" exit last night. That's how much it upset her. She absolutely hates putting 155 lbs on her profile but she does.

 

The heart of why we are so rigid on this simply boils down to the fact that our time is precious and we do not get very much of it, so having someone waste it is personal to us.

 

We don't see it as deceptive, perhaps evasive but not deceptive. We have the pics there for everyone to see and if someone takes the time to read our profile to see who we are and what we are looking for they will see that she is curvy, plus size, rubenesque, voluptuous, BBW or what ever other descriptive term that may be thrown out there.

 

We are just like you DigginIt, we don't have much free time and hate when people waste it.

 

When we first signed up on SLS, we hated to see people say no pic, no reply but now we see why it has come to that. We had an experience similar to yours. Couple was small and their pics were sexy on their profile but no face pics. They met us for coffee and dessert at a small boutique bakery. We ended up doing the same thing as you guys, made small talk, had some coffee, and said good night in under an hour. We chalked it up to a learning experience and changed our policy on pictures.

 

On the flip side there was a couple who looked great and sounded great and were listed not far from where we live. We got a polite no thanks answer. We felt like it was because they were a little thinner and we were not their cup of tea. No big deal, move on. A few months later we met them at a meet and greet and they had us and a few more couples back to their place for an after party.

 

So, profiles are imperfect but they are what we have. If some people want to blatantly be deceptive and put down and age and weight that is not true that is one thing. Yes it would be nice if SLS had the option "rather not say" but a current pic is worth a thousand words. Combine that with our accurate description and there really shouldn't be any surprises.

 

We are also AFF members, and even though we don't care for the site all that much, there is a question about body type, slim, athletic, average, a little extra padding, and ample. He is listed as average and she is listed as extra padding and our basic profile is the same as SLS (pic and size 16). No not at all deceptive.

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It does seem based upon some the profiles on SLS, as well as ours and other's experiences and by several of the admissions here, a certain deception is common. Call it what one will, evasiveness or white lies, but make no mistake it is still deceptive and in the LS honesty and compatibility are intertwined.

 

As stated, we do not put too much emphasis on weight in profiles as long as they are within a believable range. I understand the outdated height/weight ratios and without factoring in lean mass vs. actual fat, even my BMI would be considered borderline if not actual overweight, plus a woman with a little extra something is always a plus in my book. However, an honest age is paramount due to several factors and preferences for both of us.

 

While we usually don't update weight in our profile much since it remains fairly steady, we do add for our ages within a few days post-birthday at the most. Yes, like most, we would like to keep the clock from advancing, but since we place importance on age criteria in others, we believe in being honest ourselves.

 

While it has been stated here by others that they bugged out of a meeting or taking things further once they discovered a couple's dishonesty, what about if one has already established a connection or even friendship? In particular, how does one handle finding out someone is older then they stated in their profile (due to not updating it maybe even since their join date) after being with them several times and liking them? As pointed out, there are people who can pull it off and look like their stated age rather than their actual, but what if through other means you found out the truth? Having established fun times and/or friendship would you make an exception or would you be upset they were less then honest and maybe even drop them?

 

Anyone ever have this happen and if not how would you deal with it?

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As pointed out, there are people who can pull it off and look like their stated age rather than their actual, but what if through other means you found out the truth? Having established fun times and/or friendship would you make an exception or would you be upset they were less then honest and maybe even drop them?

 

Anyone ever have this happen and if not how would you deal with it?

 

There is something that we are not really touching on and MD and I believe that a large percentage of these people that are really deceptive in their age/weight don't care because they are bed notchers. They don't care and probably won't care. Getting to your question though, in circumstances like ours where we like to make long lasting friendships in the lifestyle, it would certainly strain things.

 

If you believe it's just about sex then justifying it as 'good marketing' is probably easy. However, we are the friends first (mostly) type of couple. We look at this from the perspective of how upset would we be with any friend where we found out that most of what they have lead us to believe isn't true. The bed notchers think, who fucking cares, but we do. It's certainly a more complicated relationship then let's meet, fuck and move on.

 

But nobody gets involved with us who doesn't know that about us up front, we just want the same courtesy back.

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While it has been stated here by others that they bugged out of a meeting or taking things further once they discovered a couple's dishonesty, what about if one has already established a connection or even friendship? In particular, how does one handle finding out someone is older then they stated in their profile (due to not updating it maybe even since their join date) after being with them several times and liking them? As pointed out, there are people who can pull it off and look like their stated age rather than their actual, but what if through other means you found out the truth? Having established fun times and/or friendship would you make an exception or would you be upset they were less then honest and maybe even drop them?

 

Anyone ever have this happen and if not how would you deal with it?

 

We played with a couple one time where she admitted she was quite a bit older, 8 or 10 years if I remember correctly, from what was stated on their profile. I can't even remember how the subject came up, we certainly didn't ask or even suspect it. We had met them twice for the dinner/drinks thing, with the second meet to be followed by playtime. It came up during dinner and she admitted it, we all had a good-natured laugh about it, and then we went back to their house and she rocked my world and from her response, I didn't do too badly myself on her behalf.

 

She told a white lie online about her age, big deal. We had seen up to date current pics before we all even agreed to meet, and all knew exactly what we were getting. Whether 45 or 55 years went with that appearance, I don't really see the relevance of it.

 

Now, having said that, we do use age somewhat when judging profiles if there aren't good pictures. If someone states they are more than 20 years on either side of our age, we'll probably just click on to the next one since we figure we probably won't have that much in common with them. Once we meet in person though, we don't care what the number is, either we click with them or we don't.

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If one sex of the profile has weight and age information and the other is "99" and "0", that means it's really a single person that hasn't contacted admin to change the gender of the profile. If they're both "99" and "0", then you really have to guess what they're concerned about. If they make info in their profile fairly specific and they list a small community as a location, they might not want someone they know to notice them on a swinger site. Only the "gays" are truly "out of the closet" nowadays.

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