Swinging with friends - Anyone do it?

[figleaf67]

We would like to know if very many swingers swing with old friends that they had before they started and if so does it cause any problems

[coupleohorndogs]

Hi, nice topic!! We just had to reply.
We have started a relationship with an old friend of mine. I've known him since kindergarten. My G.F and I are from the same town and he grew up theres as well , so the comfort level between all of us is incredible.
My opinion is that I think it's better if you've known the person for a considerable amount of time when inviting them into your sexual relationship. It creates an awesome comfort level for everyone and trust issues do not creep in. My G.F and I communicate our feeling with each other and this creates more feeling/passion between us. I hope this helps.
Good luck.
Coupleohorndogs

[JustAskJulie]

This is a pretty common topic here. You may want to check out the Friendship & Swinging archive, and these newer threads as well.

http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...ead.php?t=3233
http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...ad.php?t=21778
"Vanilla" friends propositioned us
http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...ad.php?t=10009
http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...ead.php?t=9222

[Jamie&Kieth]

We have been swinging with this one couple that we have known since our college days, so that's 20+ years. We have also been close friends and have children within 1 or 2 years of each other. Our small foursome of a group has expanded to include others, most recently a couple that we all have known for 2+ years that suddenly became interested.

We do keep our life-style a secret on the theory that what we do is our business and the fact that we are not hurting anybody. WE have never forced anybody and we strongly believe that FRIENDS first and foresmost.

Certainly leads for some wild times and some very intimate times.

Oh well

[northindycpl]

I haven't done this kind of swinging, so maybe I am not worthy of advice, but I still have to add that I am not sure it would be the best thing.

Anytime you add sex to a friendship that didn't previously exist, you also change that freindship. Sometimes for the better, but mostly for the worse, IMHO.

It is entirely different to become friends with people you swing with; you met and befriended them for the sole purpose of swinging. In most cases, your swing partners are not the same people you invite over for Bar-B-Ques and family gatherings. They are the people that know your 'secret', keep it safe and have some pretty wild times with.

On the other hand, your friends, are people that know your other secrets. There is already a certain level of intimacy with them that, again IMHO, you shouldn't have with your swing partners. Chances are, your friends know all about the pitfalls and windfalls in your life, they know your private thoughts, feelings and share with you theirs. When you add sex to that, you add deeper emotions, and you could have issues there.

Not to mention if any of you decide to break up or the like....?

It would not be a good fit for us, that doesn't mean that it wouldn't be a fit for you. I can see where the issues would lie from my point of view, and what I have seen happen to others. That doesn't mean that there isn't a situation out there that doesn't work. I suppose it also depends on the level of friendship you have with them. When I think of friend, I think of a good friend, not someone I just know from my vertical life.

[dentger]

This is an interesting topic.
Our earliest experiences were with couples we knew for a while. Our most consistent involvement was with a couple my wife knew for years and whose wedding we both attended, a few years before we married. The bride was a cousin with whom she was close friends since early childhood. The husband had come on to my wife to some extent before they married. We lived in different areas so we didn't see them often. We then moved near them. We became good friends and eventually were swaping and playing sex games together. This continued until they moved. We both had a few kids and both stopped swinging about the same time. We both have moved around a lot, but remain good friends and still get together socially. The sexual relationships did not significantly change our relationship, except we all got to know each other better. M and D

[northindycpl]

Originally Posted by dentger

This is an interesting topic.
Our earliest experiences were with couples we knew for a while. Our most consistent involvement was with a couple my wife knew for years and whose wedding we both attended, a few years before we married. The bride was a cousin with whom she was close friends since early childhood. The husband had come on to my wife to some extent before they married. We lived in different areas so we didn't see them often. We then moved near them. We became good friends and eventually were swaping and playing sex games together. This continued until they moved. We both had a few kids and both stopped swinging about the same time. We both have moved around a lot, but remain good friends and still get together socially. The sexual relationships did not significantly change our relationship, except we all got to know each other better. M and D

Do you guys (or will you) still have a sexual relationship at all? Do you flirt or carry on when you meet with them?

I guess in my opinion, it seems like the sexual relationship with them might be on hold indefinately due to your moves, kids and life getting in the way. Maybe it isn't in fact, over yet?

Good for you guys that you could have this type of relationship with your friends. I would be interested to hear your answers, too.

[Borntobees]

We have had some threesome experiences with friends and it seems to draw us closer to them. We think it is because we have shared intimacy with people we are close to and it just makes us even closer.

What we have learned about the lifestyle is that there are folks out there that will have sex one night and then not want to do it again for whatever reason...

These folks have not been friends but just meets, so our experience tells us friends make better lovers.

[figleaf67]

Thanks everybody we didn't know that it was a common thing to ask We have been swinging far a while but just started with real swingers I guess you could say we made a few swingers along the way lol They were just people we new far a short time and we all decided to play

[sexRus50]

My wife and I have gone into my friend's hot tub many times with he and his girlfriend. Eventually all went in naked. No playing though. Last month, after he and his girl broke up, just my friend and my wife went into the hot tub. He knows we are swingers. With my wife's previous approval I asked if he would like to "play" with her. I watched with glee as she blew him and he ate her and then we went into his bedroom and did an awesome threesome.

He has asked if he can bring another male friend of his, with whom I am acquainted, next time we go hot tubbing, to enjoy my wife. And, he is now looking for a new girlfriend and hopes we can do a foursome soon.

[happycampersfor]

We Had Our First Swinging Expiernece At A Bitheday Partyffor A Frined Of My Wife, It Started Out As A Inioncent Game Of Strip Poker But Got Really Exciting, Since Then We Have Been With Some Of The People Form The Party , And My Wife Has A Frend Who Comes And Visits Us Often, It Has Never Caused A Prblem For Either Of Us. She Even Ahd A Guy She Grew Up With That She Had A Crush On And We Met Him One Day And Invited Him Over Ahnd She Realy Enjoyed It

[dragonblade]

Well, Just felt like I had to and my own .02 here.. My very first experience was with hubby and his best friend. They had in the past before we got married had MFM with the best friends girlfriends.. I got to be the sharee this go round Anyway, I had in the months earlier started to become really close to said best friend, and the experience was awesome. It was practically a week of 3somes and toward the end of the week, hubby was tired so told me and the best friend to go have our fun. Now, best friend and I are closer than ever, and hubby knows that there is no way that either one of us would do something that would hurt him. That's the trust and love and respect level that goes along with knowing someone and being close to them for 9 years. Said friend is even coming up here for a week during thanksgiving. But the coolest thing is, if we play, we play. If we don't, well we know him so well and enjoy his company that it isn't an issue. Of course I am the horndog of the 3 and would be dissappointed lol facelick

Bottom line is, if the trust and respect is there, and if you're completely comfortable with things, I think that being friends is an awesome benefit to a swing relationship. Before or after the sex occurs, but to me, preferrably before.

~Blade~