Possibly breaking in vanilla couple - How to proceed?

[JandCMI]

A little background -

Female half of vanilla couple is someone I met in one of my classes. I thought "why the hell not" and invited her to my 30th birthday party. Suprisingly, she came and brought her boyfriend (she is early 20s, he is late 20s).

My wife and I just got married a couple weeks ago out of town and had our reception the other night. Vanilla couple wanted an invite and actually came (and stayed until the very end). Throughout the night my wife and I were going table to table and chatting with the guests, etc. I found myself chatting with vanilla couple for a quite a while. She volunteered all sorts of juicy info (clit piercing, likes sex, etc). I was asking her all sorts of questions about bi-sexual activity (she admitted making out with girls before and that she may be interested in trying girl/girl sex), if her tits were all natural or enhanced by any clothing items, etc. In other words, it was a very frank, open and revealing conversation both ways. In a sort of roundabout but not direct way I hinted that we engage in swinger sex on occassion. They did not run away screaming.

My question for you guys is this: This is the first vanilla couple we've ever even thought of trying to "break in". How do you reccommend approaching it? When they left for the night we suggested getting together for dinner and then some drinking at our place and they seemed receptive. On the other hand, we think the female half of this couple is very nice and we would absolutely hate to scare them off by being too upfront or pushy. Advice?

[jennandjamesinm]

I don't have any advice for you - but I wanted to say CONGRATS to both of you!!! I hope ya'll have a long and happy life together.

Jenn (and James)

[JandCMI]

Bump -

Any kind of advise would be most appreciated. We don't want to scare these people off but would most certainly enjoy fucking them. How to delicately approach?

[CuriousInOregon]

Originally Posted by jennandjamesinm

I don't have any advice for you - but I wanted to say CONGRATS to both of you!!! I hope ya'll have a long and happy life together.

Jenn (and James)

Ditto Undfortunatly Im very new I have no Advice BUt good Luck

[NakedInSeattle]

Are you even sure they are vanilla? Sounds like some pretty racy conversation to me.

It's difficult (I avoid using the word "hard" on this board) to know how to proceed but I would do exactly what you have done. Invite them for dinner, drinks, and if it were winter, I'd build a fire in the fireplace. Set the stage for swinging and see if they bite. If they don't, you will have had a great evening and you still have your fantasies and your swinger friends.

[RNDNV]

A general and well accepted rule for successful swinging is that you NEVER attempt to convert your vertical friends into horizontal ones. That being said, your own situation seems to be a bit unique in that you started making friends with this couple and she seems a bit forward and receptive to possible play. Two questions for you guys:

One, have you and your new wife (by the way, to both of you on the recent nuptials) fully discussed the possibility of playing with this couple, and if so, are you both on board that this is what you want?

Second, your post does not seem to indicate what vibes you are picking up from the other man of this couple. While she may be receptive to play, he may not, what did you pick up from him?

I would suggest that if they do take you up on your dinner invite, that you employ the following strategy. That you do NOTHING. Let any direction that such activity may occur be brought about by your wife, and her own conversations with the other woman. Don't say a word or suggest anything about swinging, just be unattached to anything of a sort taking place, and let your wife take the lead by privately hinting something to the other woman, or perhaps out right asking her if they swing. If you guys frequent a local swing club, she may ask her if she has ever heard of (name of club)?

Let the ladies talk, and if your wife never has a conversation with the other woman in that regard, it is probably because she didn't pick up the vibe that it was appropriate to do so. What I am saying is trust your wife's instincts on this, her antennae are much more receptive than yours are about such things as this. For all you know the other guy and her fought after your reception because he thought she was too flirtatious with you.

Keep us updated.

[clit pro poet]

NIS and RNDNV about cover the waterfront, 'looks like. This all comes naturally, and women have better awareness, by far.
Best wishes for now and the future!

[jennandjamesinm]

Originally Posted by clit pro poet

NIS and RNDNV about cover the waterfront, 'looks like. This all comes naturally, and women have better awareness, by far.
Best wishes for now and the future!

Funny that ya'll say that - This afternoon James said to me, and I quote "Swinging is the woman's amusement park and the men are there for the thrill ride." I think I might make that our signature line

Jenn

[Floorman56]

How about inviting them to diner and you guys drive. then on the way to eat you drive by one of the local swing clubs and point to it and say " wooo I heard that place is a swing club" and see what they say. humm maybe you should wait till AFTER you eat. in case they go "THEN THEY SHOULD SHUT THAT PLACE DOWN" or better " Maybe we should check that place out!!!!. good luck!!

[Vespertine]

We love Vanillas.

I agree with RNDNV, let your wife do the hinting around. It'll work much better and won't piss off the husband of the couple that much if they're not interested.

I suggest getting to know them a lot better before you tell them you're swingers. If I were you, I wouldn't use the word "swinger" either. We prefer to say that we have an open marriage, and like to have fun together. Give them hints, flirt lightly with them and show them how much in love you two are with eachother. It's important that they see how close you two are.

Your wife should be the more forward of you two. She should flirt with both the husband and wife. You need to get a good friendship going with the husband... moreso than his wife. Pay him more attention so he won't feel threatened by you.

Be sexy around them. Find exciting activities the four of you can do together- preferably in a sexually charged atmosphere. Go dancing, share a bottle of wine and play a suggestive game. When you know them a bit longer, suggest a strip club. Give the ladies a bunch of singles to tip the dancers with, etc...

I think when you're ready to initiate any playing, it should be g/g only... just kissing, nothing too forward. Remind the other woman about the conversation you had about her kissing another woman first. Say, in an offhanded way, that you think two women kissing is way hot. Let your wife say she's tried it before too, and liked it. Get the women comfortable with eachother. Then your wife can slowly introduce the idea of getting you men involved. Once again, go slow and don't do too much the first few times. Only soft swap for awhile until you can see how comfortable they are with it.

Good luck!

[Chicup]

Just a word of warning.

Long time friends of ours (swingers) went to Hawaii with long time friends of theirs (vanilla). The wife of the vanilla couple wanted to play, the husband couldn't handle it when they did. Long story short, they no longer speak with our friends (nor do their mutual friends) and the vanilla marriage is on the rocks. Of course their marriage had issues prior to this, which helped lead to this disaster.

Moral of the story is that unless the vanilla couple has done what most of us did prior to becoming swingers and really DECIDED TOGETHER they wanted to swing, it can explode baddly.