Swinging Vanilla

Mrs naughty and I have moved into a new "Sphere", if you will, of swinging.

Since we live in a town where the nearest club is a 3 hour drive and caters to couples, we found ourselves with little choice other than ads. We did the ad thing for a while and met quite a few guys, but out of those, only a few were really any good and knew the ropes of the lifestyle.

We started going over all the MFMs we have had and noticed that other than a select few, ALL of our most enjoyable swinging experiences have come through those in the "vanilla world".

So within the last couple of months we started to "swing vanilla". We have a big pool of people we hang out with and we are always meeting new "potentials". Because of My job we meet new people to the area all the time who may not be in town very long, or who may be in town a while.

We have decided to shy away from internet ad land and just go with the flow at the vanilla clubs we frequent and see if things happen.

Since we have started this approach we have had more luck and experiences than we ever had in "Ad land". And to add to that, none of the experiences have been bad. Some were a little shy but we will take that rather than over confident and cocky, like they are doing us a favor .


We thought long and hard about moving this direction and figured, Fuck it, what is life if you don't take risks .

All, so far, have seemed to understand the discreet thing and we haven't had any issues. Plus we know all our friends know what we do anyway, so if they "found out" about someone we played with it wouldn't be a shocker.

Would we reccomend this for others to try? Probably not, but it is working for us and we are having a blast.
(Maybe we should put in a disclaimer that reads: WARNING: Do Not Try This At Home. )

There is no real point to this thread other than to share with others our experiences.

[JustAskJulie]

That is something I've always noticed as well. Looking back, the swinging relationships that worked out the best were those we met through non-swinging venues. Typically, they were also swingers, but not always.

[northindycpl]

Naughty's are you converting vanilla's or are they staying vanilla's? How are you approaching this with them. Can you give me a scenerio.

I have been wondering about this, too. I would love to hear your insight and experience.

[DBL D]

Naughty's I don't blame you for going this way or even say what you're doing is anathema to swinging. Part of the swinging theme is that it's a couples thing and Discretion is all important. The other part of the theme is about SEX! I don't see why you can't get that from a vanilla scene. It just seems easier to cut through some of the BS with swingers...but if you have ideas about how we all can use your techniques, we're all ears!

Male D

Okay, a couple scenarios:

1st,
We have a single male friend of ours that we knew for quite a few years. Nothing but vanilla. He went his way we went ours. A few years later I see him around town (which was about 2 months ago). We recognize each other and exchange some small talk. I ask him when he is leaving town; he tells me that coming Saturday. I tell him we have to get together that friday for a few drinks to shoot the shit about old times, he agrees. I told Mrs naughty that I saw him and made plans, she is game. That friday night I pick him up at his motel room for a night on the town. On our way to get Mrs Naughty I tell him that he should be prepared because sometimes our night out gets kind of "wild". He says he is all about that, even though I don't think he caught my meaning.

We hook up with Mrs Naughty and they give each other a vanilla hug (at least he thinks so ). We go out and start partying at our local vanilla club and Mrs naughty starts to turn up the flirting BIG TIME! But you have to understand that it is not uncommon for things to get crazy, even in our vanilla club. So no one suspects anything unusual.

Later in the night we start talking to "Jim". I ask him if he is up for having a good time after the bar closes. He says he is always up for fun. I tell him its not just regular fun but crazy fun . He says he is game. By this point Mrs Naughty is flirting pretty hard and even a little kissing has been exchanged, he is starting to catch on. It's getting late and I ask him if he is ready to go have some fun, he says he is ready.

We go back to our house ( No Kids) and have a beer. Mrs Naughty goes and changes into her jammi top with nothing on underneath. We all sit on the couch and start talking. I pull up her jammi top a little to reveal "the goods". He takes one look and off to the bedroom we go for one of the most amazing MFMs we have ever had facelick .

2nd,
We have a single male friend of ours who lives in town. Mrs naughty has never thought about getting nasty with him, until I brought it up .

Mrs Naughty goes out for a girls night out and he is there. They start talking and having fun. By the end of the night they are exchanging kisses. He asks her "What would Mr Naughty think about this". She tells him "He would probably like it " .

So Mrs Naughty comes home and tells me about it. Later that week we meet this guy again in a vanilla social setting. He and I end up alone outside and I say to him "I hear you and Mrs Naughty got a little friendly last weekeend. It's no big deal and I am okay with it." I then tell him that we are swingers but like to keep it under cover. He is cool with it. The next weekend we are out at our vanilla bar and he shows up, long story short, all three of us end up back at his place for an MFM, yet another good time facelick .

So there is a couple instances on how we hook up vanilla.

I could go on, but I have to work tomorrow .

[Pinmonkey]

That's a good idea. Internet ads really didn't work for us either. Unfortunatly we aren't one for clubs or bars very much. So our swinging life is basically stalled. I think, however, I will try to talk her into going to a club this weekend though. Just to get out and do something you understand.

[northindycpl]

So Naughty, these are guys you know from before in the vertical world? Have you guys every just approached a stranger at a bar and Naughtied him? Or, in your town is it hard to meet a stranger? It seems since you already kinda knew these 2, you would have a feel for if they would be up for it or not.

We have met people in vanilla settings that are really strangers to us, but seem to have what it takes to be a swinger, and they seem to be a bit interested in sex. (More so then the average vanilla couple) The husband may flirt with me a bit, the wife too.

Is your advice to get them a bit happy and then make a move? IS that how you have done it in the past?

I don't think anyone would be shocked by us, I am more afraid they would be confused and jump into something they would regret.

Your Thoughts?

[Pinmonkey]

Or do you just wear your SwingersBoard tee shirt and let them figure it out? lol

[charms123]

Mr & Mrs N seem to have it down to a "science"! That is to say, found something that works for them.

Not bad ideas. We don’t like to use the internet per se as you never know what’s out there before you meet. And then there is the case in Philly where the photographer killed the fetish model.... and you hear those stories all the time.

I like the idea of trying the vanilla bars. N is a little timid doing things like that but at the swingers bar I cannot keep clothes on her!

Anyway, great examples and we will have to try it. Wish we had vanilla friends that knew and were cool about it.

M & N
Nipple Jewelry

[robindee]

OK this my be a stupid question but ....What does the term "Vanilla" mean.We have been in the lifstyle for a while and have not heard that term used before. Rob&Dee

[charms123]

Vanilla = non swingers.

[BiDrywallChick]

in our experience, most of the time we have met others in more vanilla enviroments and those time ended up being pretty damn good. We just started trying out the Ads things.. I am not really impressed, but we havent had our ads up for long. For me, I love the "chase and capture" alot.. the whole starting up a convo.. the wondering, the flirting and the inuendos.

[NakedInSeattle]

It sure is easier to turn a vanilla guy into a "play buddy" than it is to turn a vanilla couple. In the latter case, you have to convince two people and as we know, the gal is usually the slower to cum around because they have many more issues than us guys.

That said, the down side is that you sometimes lose a friend when he finds you are wanting more than his friendship. This happened to us. The guy had so much guilt over his "sin" that he couldn't be our friend any longer. Miss him. He was a great guy.

Originally Posted by northindycpl

So Naughty, these are guys you know from before in the vertical world?

The two I sited, yes, we knew them pretty good previosly.

Have you guys every just approached a stranger at a bar and Naughtied him?

Yes . Although he did know one of the people at the bar with us but we had never met him before. He was a little shy (or maybe it was nervous) when we got back to the motel room. We asked if he wanted to stop, there was no pressure. He said he wanted to continue so we did.
But he wasn't the only one, there has been other "corruption" of guys who really didn't know us beforehand.

Is your advice to get them a bit happy and then make a move? IS that how you have done it in the past?

Mrs naughty does some flirting, maybe even a little unexpected cock grab. I talk with him also through out the night so he is comfortable with me and sees I have no problem with the apparent flirting going on between him & Mrs Naughty. Later in the night, usualy after midnight we will ask him if he is up for some "fun" after the bar closes. By this time we have made enough sexual inuendos that he pretty much knows what we are talking about.
Not one has turned us down yet.

[80'sCouple-n-Ky]

Great thread, with some terrific "vanilla" flavored stories.

We have to agree 100% with this approach. As someone who spent their early 20's as a touring musician, I recently decided to go to college and get my degree. As of right now we are averaging 2 hot girls a semester. The main draw back of course is that the girls range in age from 18-20 and are not the most mature or experienced, but still it's pretty sweet. We see this as a great primer for getting into the lifestyle, and we are joining our first club next month.

The vanilla approach is great. It can be an added perk of any situation that puts you in social contact with others, be it work, school, or just clubs.