Question about approaching friend for MMF

[LexiNMatt]

Hi everyone, We not really new here, but have been taking a break for a while with our thoughts of swinging fun, aside from bedroom fantasy fun.
Lexi and I have been together for almost 5 years. We were both each others' first and have an amazing sex life together. We love to talk dirty during sex and things ranging from FMF to gangbangs come up and always get her incredibly wet. We have talked about swinging but have deceided it really isn't the lifestyle for us. We both love the special connection we have developed from such a young age, but I would like to fulfill her fantasy of having two cocks at the same time, especially while we are still young. She doesn't want to have sex with the other male she just wants to beable to tease him and suck his cock while I fuck her.

So now that you know the backround. Just in the last few days a friend of mine at work has been telling me how hot my girl's ass is and how hard he would fuck her. I told Lexi about it and just smiled and laughed. On New Years Night we were all hanging out together after work having a drink upstairs and while she was sitting on my lap I touched her ass and legs, pulling up her skirt to expose her bear skin over her knee highs. She would later tell me that she saw him checking her out. I later told her that, that was just what I had intended. Later that night while it was just me and him I told him that I had tried to get Lexi to have sex with me upstairs, but she was too paranoid that we were going to get caught (there was a big party going on downstairs). He again told me how hot she was and how he would have fucked her upstairs in a second. He is younger than both of us and has not had that much sexual experience, he is kind of a dork and not Lexi's type at all so we both think he is the perfect person to be Lexi's tease toy. Believe me, he wouldn't mind it at all.

So here is my question, we work together again this saturday night. I told Lexi that this is her chance to fulfill her fantasy and that got her very excited. I was wondering how everybody thought I should go about getting the guy involved. Should we surprise him? Should I hint something to him early in the night and then when we are hanging out after work Lexi can surprise him? Should I just talk to him in advance about what we want to do? I am so conflicted about what to do. I want Lexi to enjoy herself and for everything to go smoothly.

If anyone has any thoughts, please let me know. I would also like to hear from any guys, single or coupled about how they would prefer to be approached in this situation. Thanks everyone.

Matt

We know a little about this subject.


When we had our first MFM encounter it was with a guy I worked with for a few years. He was also younger than us and single. When we first decided to give this a wirl we just wanted someone for forepaly then mrs Naughty and I would end up having sex with the guy there watching.

Well, Mrs Naughty picked the guy out which I had no problem with. We all knew each other pretty well and I knew he thought Mrs naughty was not only hot but the "coolest bitch" alive. So I figured this would work well.

It turned out he was moving away and we went out to his going away party which was a night on the town. We knew what we had instore for him but he did not.

At the end of the night we ended up back at his apartment with him along with about 4 or 5 other people. We waited out the others until it was just the three of us left.
Mrs Naughty was wearing a sun dress type thing and I lifted it up to reveal an ass cheek and asked the guy if "he wanted to get freaky?"

He looked a little cautious at first but quickly realized we were serious when we went to his room and got naked for some foreplay. At first he just took pics for us with our digital camera but it wasn't long before things got so hot he joined in our foreplay.

It was a GREAT time!!!!!

So I say surprise him! Let it be yours and her dirty little secret for the night so you can tease each other on what is going to happen. Also if something comes up and it doesn't work for that night he is none the wiser and you can plan your next sneak attack.

I can tell you our friend was grateful for having let him in on our fun. He was our first and I am greatful it went so well. Had it been a bad experience that might have been our last.

[northindycpl]

Our MMF was with a guy I worked with. (MRS Indy) He had been flirting with me for about 2 months, pretty blantently. Mr. and I knew we were going to have a MMF and trying to find a guy that I trusted, but MR indy didn't know was a challenge, and one day I just decided on him.

All I did was walk up to him (in a private setting) and tell him that I wanted to have sex with him and my huisband at the same time, was he available to come to my house on December 7, at 9pm.

After he picked up his jaw off of the counter, he said yes (of course) and showed up.

Personally I think if we were going to do it again, I would still have to be the one to initiate it. I think it is a womans job to ask.

[TNT]

Although we have had MFM threesomes with friends who were also Ted's co-workers it is NOT something that we would recommend to anyone.

Having a MFM 3some with a friend has its own set of possible problems, when you add the fact you also work with these people you are getting another set of possible problems along with it.

Some things you need to think about before you initiate a conversation about playing are...

What are the person's views on casual sex?
Is this person able to keep their mouth shut about the situation?
Does/will this person show respect to your wife? Before, during and after the encounter.
Does the person have the maturity level to handle a situation like this?
Does the person respect the fact you two are a couple and that this is something you do together for fun, not because there are problems with your relationship?

In the particular situation you described I personally would not recommend a surprise attack. You are stating you only want to use him as a tease toy...with only him receiving a blow job...this should be discussed before hand as once things get started he might think he can take it further or expect it to go further. You need to be able to discuss your rules for the encounter before hand and make sure he is okay with it.

Be aware that the friendship will be on the line as well as possible problems at work. I don't mean to sound like a kill-joy but, these are things you need to consider. If you feel that this person can handle the situation then have fun. It can be a very rewarding experience bringing friends into your sexual play time.



Teresa

[Denver2some]

First of all ... ditto to everything TNT said. Coworkers are very risky, particularly ones with loose lips, which your friend certainly has.

Originally Posted by LexiNMatt

He is younger than both of us and has not had that much sexual experience, he is kind of a dork and not Lexi's type at all so we both think he is the perfect person to be Lexi's tease toy.

And why would someone who's a dork and not her type be "perfect?" If you are going to live Lexi's fantasy, make it truly exciting for her. Pick someone that she finds attractive!

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by LexiNMatt

Just in the last few days a friend of mine at work has been telling me how hot my girl's ass is and how hard he would fuck her.

Matt

If I'm naive or just plain old-fashioned and need updated, someone please tell me, but I find this disturbing.

If a guy--not in the lifestyle--approached Mr LM and said this to him he'd think he was way out of line. It would be disrespectful to me to be talked about as casually as if I were a new Harley Mr LM owned that this guy wanted to take for a spin.

Is this guy really going to keep his mouth shut? Is he going to respect your wife, or you, after being used as "Lexi'x tease toy?"

I don't think so.

This doesn't feel like a good idea to me.

LM

[xxoticangel]

We have also done MFM with co-worker/friends and also would not recommend it. The first one was great. He and I had worked together for a couple of years and I discussed a surprise MFM for her birthday. We had been with other couples before but never just a single guy. After that we continued to play with him every two or three months for a couple of years until he took a job with a company that transferred him to Denver. Up until he married earlier this year he would still fly in once a year for the Thrashers/Avalanche game and spend a few nights in our bed. He was always respectful and never assumed he was getting laid when we did vanilla things together.
The second friend/co-worker we played with didn't go as well and continues to haunt us. He is a divorced single father that doesn't have much of a social life since he is trying to raise two pre-teen boys. One night about three months ago the three of us went out dancing and drinking. I told my wife that I would leave it up to her and if she wanted to play with him to just kiss him and we would go from there. Everything was great, we danced, did shots, and teased. About 1 am he and I were sitting at the table while she dirty danced for us. She started to lap dance with him then started kissing him. Shortly after the three of us were headed back to our place. The sex that night was great both he and I were able to manage two orgasms to go with her multiple ones before we fell asleep in our king size bed. The next morning everything seemed find when we went for breakfast. He wasn't forward and didn't try to get any more intimate than a hug when we parted ways. The problems started the next week at the office. He started to drop by every day and ask when we were going out again. He only has my cell number but calls almost everyday. I'm afraid to completely blow him off because I don’t want him telling everyone at work about our night. If he weren’t so pushy we would consider doing another night with him but the way he has been acting makes us not want to even say Hi.
Given you description of the other guy I would be very cautious about crossing that line with him because there is a better than even money chance that he will start pushing for a repeat performance soon after the first time. Also there is the chance that he will use his bragging rights to tell all the other guys about his night with you.

Well I geuss we are the minority here. But it worked for us, although he was moving.

[LexiNMatt]

Originally Posted by Denver2some

And why would someone who's a dork and not her type be "perfect?" If you are going to live Lexi's fantasy, make it truly exciting for her. Pick someone that she finds attractive!

She doesn't want to be attracted to the person we do it with. She just wants to experience the sensation of having two cocks at once. She has already made this very clear to me since we started talking about the idea of really ever doing it at all. And just to clearify it is only a temporary job and we are moving in two weeks she alot of the messy stuff that people have mentioned as downsides might not really apply as much.

[Vespertine]

Our first MFM was with a vanilla friend, who's company works closley with my husband's company.

Worked out great for us and we played regularly for quite sometime...until he got a serious girlfriend.

[JustAskJulie]

I would be very careful with this situation for a couple of reasons.

1. His expressed interest. Will he really be ok with just being a tease toy? Will he stick to your guidelines and not try to push for more? Once she teases him will he be happy to just walk away and not want more (I doubt it). You have to work with this guy and he's going to be around. I doubt seriously that you will be able to just walk away from this with one night of teasing fun.

2. He's young and his actions so far make me worry about his discretion. Again you work with him, if she teases him one night and you have a threesome, are you going to be hearing about it at work the next day? If he doesn't get more, or doesn't get what he wants (to fuck her) will he take that out on you by telling the world what he did get (or that he got more than he did).

His actions so far strike me as a bit immature. Discretion is SO important and it is the worst rule to learn the hard way.

[HotMoCpl]

5 years? This relationship is gonna crash and burn. This is disrespectful to her and may be considered borderline rape. Get your head out of your backside and think first, then talk to her, and respect whatever she tells you.

Good luck.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by HotMoCpl

5 years? This relationship is gonna crash and burn. This is disrespectful to her and may be considered borderline rape. Get your head out of your backside and think first, then talk to her, and respect whatever she tells you.

Good luck.

In what way is this boderline rape? How is this disrespectful to her?

Posted by Matt:

"She doesn't want to be attracted to the person we do it with. She just wants to experience the sensation of having two cocks at once. She has already made this very clear to me since we started talking about the idea of really ever doing it at all."


It seems apparent to me that he has discussed this with her.

I don't understand where your reply is coming from?

[watcherone]

Its been awhile since we did any mfm but there were three guys we played with regularly. One was married , two were single.
On all of them, my wife and I would bring up the subject with the guy together. We would talk about it and if she agreed then we would talk to the guy. To be truthful, it was hard to get on the subject the first time and I had to force myself to break the ice when we were just sitting around one evening.
The second guy, alot younger than the first, we both just invited him by for dinner and ended up having my wife for desert.
I think that you need to find someone that you both trust and like being around. We chose friends because we knew them to be cool and trusted them to be discrete and not pushy. Actually, I think you would need to know the person some because from our experiences, the guy was more than willing and wanted to do it again. Not one of the three bragged about being with my wife to anyone and they all stayed bed buddies for a couple years.
Finding the right guy or couple isnt easy. You should take your time and be patient. If you pick someone just to fulfill a fantasy, it might not run according to your dreams and could ruin any future times with him or someone else.

[confunktion]

Originally Posted by HotMoCpl

5 years? This relationship is gonna crash and burn. This is disrespectful to her and may be considered borderline rape. Get your head out of your backside and think first, then talk to her, and respect whatever she tells you.

Good luck.

????????????

Where the H-E-double-hockey-sticks are you getting this from???? Are you reading the same post as we are? On behalf of LexiNMatt and other posters, I would ask that you re-read everything before posting, as being confused about the initial topic is probably not going to lead to a helpful response. And aren't we here to help as best we can?

Mr. Funk
Sorry, but I just had to say something.