To Swing with Friends! HELP!

[akamgaxoxo]

Ok we have all seen the threads on swinging with friends and whether it's a good idea or not...well I have a situation that I need help on, and would love to hear from the experienced here!!

My best friend of twenty years has just found out that my hubby and I are swingers. This happened just recently, on a girls nite out....hot dance sessions with the guys there and well one thing led to another and I came out with the dirty details. Needless to say, she was floored for a minute. BUT, as the nite progressed she told me that her hubby (who will be going out of the country soon on a mission for our great USA) has this same room sex idea on his list of to-do's before he goes away...

She then tells me that she has been talking to her hubby about couples parties and what happens there. And now it's his turn to be floored. He is cool with us being swingers and all, but as far as a swap and other couples he doesn't know, he is not comfy with that idea. But he says the only couple he could think of to be around, would be us. This is all great and flattering but like I told my girlfriend, she needed to set bounderies first and foremost. I explained to her that we have never played with a couple yet, and that for the most part we were only interested in soft swap, and same room sex with our spouse.

So the million dollar question is, where do we go from here? I love these guys and would hate to ruin anything, but at the same time, I don't see a problem with same room fun with our spouse either....maybe I am wrong.

A helping hand would be great!

[littlebit54]

I can't really think of one reason why that wouldn't be a Great idea! You say that both couples are cool with the idea of same room sex, right? If that's all that happens, fine; but if you all agree to go a step beyond and do a little bit more, so much the better. It will give him so much to fantasize when he's away from home. Nice send off from wife and friends.
Just talk about it again and get going!

Just my opinion, so don't sue me if it doesn't work out for some very strange reason that i can't even fathom. It sounds perfectly wonderful to me!

I know some people say not to make swingers out of friends, but same room sex is closer to soft swinging isn't it? If they aren't comfortable (both of them) with a full swap or other lovely combinations, just don't go there, right?


littlebit54

[SexhoundDog]

Mrs. Akamgaxoxo,
I can't say I'm experienced in swinging with friends, but from what you've written, I don't think you could've handled it much better initially than you did. We know you and your hubby are on the same page, and you've broached the subject with your best friend who has now confided one of their little fantasies with you. I'm betting she's already shared some juicy info with her husband too, and the wondering how to pull it off has already been the topic of more than one conversation between them.
My ex and I did some same room sex with this couple my current wife and I are still friends with some 20+ years ago until some folks walked in (long story). Sure would be fun if they and current wife wanted to try soft swap when we see them in a few weeks! facelick

I think where I'd go from here is get together with her again very soon, or else all of you get together for a night out. Then, ask her if she's had any further conversations with hubby about boundaries and anything else and see what she says. The next thing you might ask her is something like this: OK, we set our limit at soft swap, but how do you think you'll really feel about watching me with your husband's cock in my mouth? And how will your husband feel watching you do the same with mine? Are you also OK if your husband is going down on me and I'm enjoying the hell out of myself?

They may be excited as hell knowing you're swingers as they might feel you are the right type for them to enjoy their fantasy. If you are all OK with the soft swap going thru full oral, great. If not, I can see absolutely no harm in having same room sex. It may widen their boundaries if nothing else and in the future, ya just never know!!

[EvilMJ]

My husband and I were swinging with our best friends and it was great. Until he (my best friends husband that is) ran into some inseurity problems that manifested anytime he drank. Needless to say we had a lot of fun, and when it became clear that he could not handle the situation we ended it off.

It was fun while it lasted, we are still best friends. Would I do it all over again..Hell yeah.

So my advice is go for it, only if you are all in agreement of what to expect, what your boundaries are, and that if you decide to end it for what ever reason that none she feel bad about it. That is how we did it and I am happy to say I have some good memories and even better friends.

Just make sure that you COMMUNICATE with each other!! Very important

[lifestyles2004]

I agree with EvilMJ and communication is key. We played with our best friends for many years with no problems of any kind. We still are best friends but quit playing because of children etc. I believe that the downside risk is greater if problems develop later but I also believe that the upside is worth it from my experience.

[AdventurousTxM]

One thought...if you swing with your best friends, and then he leaves for his "service," is he going to wonder and worry that his wife may keep up the swapping when he's not there? That could cause big problems for her. So, be sure that she reassures him that this is a one time thing, and won't happen again without him there.

[EvilMJ]

THat is a tough one for sure. I think it is important to set rules and boundaries. For example one of my 'rules' was that you are not allowed to play, kiss, touch each other, etc unless we were all in the room. It made me uncomfortable because to me that was just to initmate and was something that was meant for me and my SO. Everyone respected that and there were no problems. This type activity may not bother other people but it did me.
My point here is that if you are open and upfront with each other, there is no confusion, no worrying or having you mind play tricks on you.

If you make the rule that there is no swinging while he is away, then he needs to trust his wife and his friends to follow that rule. Trust is important in this lifestyle, and if you don't have that then you probably should not get involved.

[akamgaxoxo]

Guys, all great and wonderful things I have heard so far tonite! Yay! I knew I would get the helping hand that I needed. I will be sure to talk to her in regards to the swinging after he leaves and what they may feel about that. Personally I would feel funny if he wasn't there, sooo I may also tell her that.

Thanks bunches and any more advice....keep it coming!

[JustAskJulie]

If you go forward with this I would definately stick to just same room sex. No soft-swapping, just playing with your own partners in the same room (exhibitionism/voyeurism). If you go beyond that you may be venturing into dangerous territory and that's when the issues that are so often spoken of when talking about swinging with friends crop up.

[akamgaxoxo]

Well guys, as the week has progressed I have learned more and more about our friends and what they expect.
I discovered that my friends have their bounderies wayyyy more open than my hubby and myself. For example, her hubby is cool with her kissing and openly flirting with others in public places like bars and such. My hubby and I don't do this at all, not even with my play friend. We are very discreet I suppose. Unfortunately this led to an issue because no one communicated this to me, and I was shocked to see her doing this, but that aside it's all cool now.
We have plans to all go out together this weekend.....however I am gonna have to take Julie's advice, and only maybe will we do same room sex. But I think the main point of the evening for us will to be out with our friends and have a great time together regardless of whether a sexual experience happens or not.

[akamgaxoxo]

Well it finally took us until just last weekend to get around to same room sex thing with our friends! Lemme tell you, it was hot!

The evening started out with my girlfriend and I going for drinks and dancing....we are sooo bad for doing that...then we went home to our hubbies...they had been drinking a little and getting charged up. Well, one thing led to another and we all wound up on the floor! Tooo much I tell you!

We spent the night with them, but the next morning, one small issue came up, the hubby kinda propositioned me for a little more sexual contact than I was interested in. Not that it wouldn't be a fun idea...but do I just be blunt with him and say "NO WAY"? They are looking for us to come over again soon and kinda have a repeat session.

[SexhoundDog]

Please explain, Spock. Your hubby suggested you do something more with him or the other guy?

[akamgaxoxo]

Hahahah, that is great, no the other hubby was suggesting for me to do more with him.....LoL

[xxoticangel]

IMHO the whole thing is a bad idea right now. Unless their relationship is open and he doesn't mine her playing without him I suggest you wait until he returns. The visiual fantasy may be great for a while but eventually he will begin to wonder if she is playing with you or someone else while he is gone. I have been away from my family for months while I was in the service and know that no matter how strong the relationship is doubt starts to creep in after a while.

Just my $0.01 (MHO is deflated today)

[akamgaxoxo]

I am going with my gut here and not doing anything with him...even if it is with her consent. I love my friends too much and I think it would just be too weird for me! Now I just wish he would lay off of the suggestions...I think I am just gonna have to say that!