Swinging in the News - The Van Dam Case

[Corinne]

Hi all,
I'm sure a lot of you have heard about the case of the little girl who disappeared a few weeks ago in San Diego.
I was reading people magazine today (well, have to keep up with the gossip ) and this is what they were writing about the parents.

" Meanwhile the van Dams (parents)..... were coming in for some uncomfortable scrutiny of their own. In the days after Danielle's disappearance there had been whispers in Sabre Springs that the couple were "swingers" who had an open marriage. The issue came to a head when a local radio talk show host,Rick Roberts, devoted a four-hour program to the van Dams, whom he accused of "not being honest" about "what really occured" on the night of the disappearance. Citing an unnamed law enforcement source, he said the couple had participated in "lots of wife swapping", implying that their lifestyle was at least partly to blame for the tragedy."

Excuse me?? Are swingers criminals, or, what he seems to be implying, pedophiles? (My interpretation, might be a bit off here). Are we, as swingers, really getting judged so badly? Well, maybe the parents had something to do with the disappearance, it happened before, but to say it happened because they are swingers???
Ok, this is more like a vent here, just thought I share.
Take care all,
Corinne

[Flori_DAMAN]

Another example of our societies great willingness to judge anyone that drifts from the so called norm concerning sexuality. Simultaneously this displays a glaring contradiction on the part of our so called "liberal press".
I will never understand why people suck up this sensationalism at every opportunity.

Taking the logic that this article supports to its logical conclusion then having sex outside of marraige implies that that person has pedophilic tendencies. Now when the president of the US gets a BJ from an intern this should not be of any concern whatsoever. Even though situations like this could lead to blacmail, extortion, or national security risks. Ah well...if everything were fair then robins wouldn't eat worms huh. John

[JustAskJulie]

This topic came up amongst a group of us webmasters (and amateur web models) a week or so ago. I can't believe that People would stoop so low.. well ok, I can.

This kind of thing tends to give swingers a bad name. If you'd like to read the discussion that we had on it, you can do so here: http://chat.amateurmasters.com/publi...View.cgi?T=227

[danc694u]

Adding insult to injury. A recent pedophile & convicted child molester. Was morned (sp) by his "professional" friends & leading scholars, for being imprisoned.

They publicly stated (in print & TV) the world had lost a great man. And, felt that he was imprisoned unjustly for his "minor" social crime.

His crime?? Sexually molesting a 9 year old boy, since age 7.

There seems to be a double standard when it comes to morals in this country. Professionals (read money and contacts), are above what the general public thinks. While the non-professionals (like me), get hammered for picking their nose in public.

David

[lycioos]

Like we always say, a college degree doesn't give a person common sense or morals, it gives them a piece of paper that says they are smart. period.

[CanadianCouple]

For those of you who have been following the story of 7 yr. old Danielle van Dam, the Sabre Springs, California girl who was abducted three weeks ago, you may be interested to know that the Star magazine is reporting in it's February 26 issue the girl's parents are apparently active swingers, even mentioning by name a club they're members of.
What has this to do with her disappearance you ask? Probably not a damned thing, but of course certain factions of the media are thrilled to have this titillating bit of information for their exploitation. The slant on the story is their neighbor, who's currently under arrest, was frustrated he wasn't included in the van Dam's sex parties and went after their daughter instead, hence the subtle inference the parents brought this upon themselves with their lifestyle.
Makes you wonder who's lower on the food chain -- Johnny Cochran or rag reporters.

Dan

[CanadianCouple]

I erroneously posted on this subject in the "chat" section, not knowing it had already been discussed elsewhere here, so if you, Julie, would like to relocate it, feel free.

This kind of yellow journalism is despicable beyond description. As parents, Janette and I can't even begin to imagine the horrors the van Dams are going through as I type this, and now a very personal and UNRELATED aspect of their private lives will be exposed before the world.

We hope that all of their family and friends will give them their unconditional love and support in this darkest of times.

Dan

[watcherone]

You know, the way society is going it wont be long before there will only be one person that can walk the almighty straight and narrow line. Years back I was in trouble because my hair was too long and i wore blue jeans to school-even got expelled for my hair touching my shirt collar. Since than this great society has laid more and more rules on us to where it is hard to be an individual. That is what life is really all about- be a unique person, enjoy your life and let society go its own way. My only real concern in my life is to not hurt anyone with my life, other than that, it is my life and I'm not going to worry about what society thinks about me. Maybe that is the lesson from 9/11. Life is so short, live it as full as you can and enjoy it to the max. Tomorrow may never come.null

[eagleyeg]

Amen Canadian Couple. So sad our society is directed by sensationalism and by Morons in the press. Don't you find it strange more emphasis was not placed on the deviate accused of the Van Dam crime? And what about those in Boston, New Hampshire and Philadelphia being protected by the church doing the same thing to innocent children. Swingers have proved themselves time and time again to be more honest than the Media, Politicians and so called men of the cloth. In fact swinging is built on honesty and nothing more.

[CanadianCouple]

Originally posted by eagleyeg:
<STRONG>Don't you find it strange more emphasis was not placed on the deviate accused of the Van Dam crime? </STRONG>

Yes, but then again there's that exciting little red herring about the parent's swinging lifestyle. After all, it's all about selling newspapers, right?

I just logged on to today's online San Diego Union-Tribune, and to their credit today's story makes no mention of them involved in swinging. However, there is a message chat board on the front page, and I was discouraged to see so many negative posts about the van Dams, including those alluding to their lifestyle. Even those posts made after Westerfield's arrest on Friday continue to run heavily against them. It's even been speculated in there that the DNA evidence found implicating Westerfield was planted (shades of OJ??). I'm willing to bet nearly half of these hypocrites comdeming the parents for their swinging have themselves screwed around behind their spouse's backs, but that's different, right?

The only possible ( I repeat,possible)scenario I can envision that the van Dams may be hedging on would be the mother did engage in sex with Westerfield via the lifestyle, and is reluctant to make that known for fear of being blamed by association. But again, if true then so what?? If the van Dams had sat beside their daughter's abductor/killer in a church pew, then would their religious beliefs and practises have contributed to her kidnapping and subsequent death, assuming she is indeed dead? Different scenario, but the same principle in logic.

Janette and I are parents who happen to be swingers, and we've personally known many other swinging couples who love and cherish their children as much as we do ours -- and it sickens me to read this slanted filth insinuating the van Dams somehow brought this on themselves. I pray little Danielle will be found alive and well, but I also realize the possiblity of that diminishes with each passing day.

Our thoughts and prayers continue to be where they should be. With Danielle and her parents.

Dan

[PA_RACERS]

Yesterday I saw a show on MSNBC with Matt Lauer and the guy from America's Most Wanted. They brought up how the media pushed the parents lifestyle out. Mr. Walsh said the police had never taking their swinging lifestyle into any concideration in the investigation. All the bad hype is just the media trying to make an innocent couple look bad. I find the news media an outrage all too often!

[youngswingers]

Can anybody tell us what the NASCA does? Honestly, some national organization has got to get out their and start spinning on our behalf. I don't understand how a special interest group as large as ours has no Public Relations arm.

[danc694u]

Originally posted by youngswingers:
<STRONG>Can anybody tell us what NASCA does?</STRONG>

They haven't done anything IMO, except raise the quality of clubs.

There is a group that is getting together. I can't recall the name though. Their main purpose? To act as a lobby group for clubs at the national and state levels. Hopefully, they'll get some of these backward thinking radicals to loosen up a bit.

[lycioos]

I recently watched a 20/20 or 48 hours special on this topic. (It was one of those shows, they're all the same to me) Anyway- It seems that the greatest concern that they showed towards the "lifestyle" this couple led was the fact that they took these couples home. Now, while I agree that their priviate lives are their priviate lives, I also agree that people that you "pick up" at parties and don't know from adam, yet you choose to take them to your place of residence while your children are home sleeping, does, pose a greater risk to your childrens saftey. So, if there is anything that is good that can come out of this, even though the people they took home has nothing to do with this particular crime, hopefully in the future it can protect others from going through this by hiding their lives a bit better. From what I understand the neighbor was a pervert who saw what was going on a flipped out. Their fault??? Absolutely NOT. But, in the future those of us who has children, may want to evaluate carefully who we do allow to enter into our homes.

[danc694u]

Originally posted by lycioos:
<STRONG>But, in the future those of us who has children, may want to evaluate carefully who we do allow to enter into our homes.</STRONG>

That's true. But, the perv lived 2 houses down! Says a lot for nice/trendy/secure neighborhoods doesn't it?

Locks, bars, alarms are for honest people. Crooks and the like are rarely bothered by these things.

Statistics show that over 70% of murder victims know the perpetrator personally.

Do we hide from the world as well?

[ 03-02-2002: Message edited by: danc694u ]