Dr. Phil swinger episode is on today (January 25, 2008)

[mosmis84]

Dr. Phil's new episode on swinging is today.

[JustAskJulie]

Haven't had a chance to watch it yet but I did tivo it, so I will save my comments till I've actually watched.

[VegasLee]

I feel that for once Dr. Phil handled the Swinging part of the story alright. He did not get down on it, kind of like it works for you so ok.

They had another couple on there that you can not call swingers. Husband forcing the wife into 3 sums that she did not want to be involved in. It is to bad that they have to have both type of things on the same show but I do understand why he did it. Has to show more than one side of something like this.

The real Swinger couple did a good job. Made a good presentation of the Lifestyle.

As always Dr. Phils message boards are going nuts. The attack is on but there appears to be a couple of people up there doing a good job of telling about the relationships within the lifestyle.

Over all I have to give Dr. Phil a good grade on this one. Much better then how he has handled it in the past.

[cpl2doitwithu]

Maybe Dr. Phil is a swinger!... You never know about these things!

Darn!!!! I missed this one! I even took off early from work today and would have loved something to watch

MrsVan

[Nudesailing]

it was OK, the swinging couple were fine. The other couple where the man was pushing his wife into 3sums was bad. Dr Phil did hit it right when he said their problem was not sex or 3sums but the fact that the man did not care about his wifes feelings and would pressure her to do the 3sum even though she cried and felt terrible.

[LFM2]

I didn't get a chance to watch it, and I don't have a TIVO or a DVR... Outta luck here...

I'm seriously a little surprised he didn't slam the lifestyle though. I really thought that would be his whole agenda for having the show -- to reveal the evils of swinging.

[JustAskJulie]

The show started off with him saying that an estimated 4-8 Million people are swingers and that was followed by call-ins from people all over the country saying that they are swingers.

He talked to a couple that started off with just her playing with other women and after 9 years the husband decided that he wanted to be able to play too. they mainly only soft-swing, however the idea that he wanted to have sex with other people had a negative affect on her self-esteem. Dr. Phil definately questioned whether swinging really "worked" for them if it was causing issues with her self-esteem. He also asked the important question of the husband of "what do you get out of seeing your wife with someone else". Even though Dr. Phil said that he himself was completely turned off by the idea of his wife with someone else. Overall, I would say that he did handle it really well and did not slam the swinging couple.

He even went so far as to make the statement that the couple where the wife felt threesomes were disgusting was a "totally different situation".

The 3some couple was just totally messed up. I have to agree that their relationship is very inappropriate in many ways, especially the involvement of their kids in the discussion.

None of these shows are going to show swinging in a completely positive light and I wouldn't want them to. I don't want to give people the idea that swinging works for everyone because it doesn't. I think what these shows are great for is opening the discussion while showing people the potential pitfalls.

[cubnamy1995]

I watched it, and I have to admit that I was impressed. I seriously thought Dr. Phil was going to go on a tirade, but he actually did it OK. That second couple that was really a guy trying to force his wife to have threesomes, Dr. Phil went as far as to say that threesomes wasn't their problem.

It went better than I figured it would. I'm going to check the Dr. Phil boards now.

[cubnamy1995]

Just checked out Dr. Phil's boards. Whew! What a circus. But at least I know that my marriage isn't a real one, my wife and I don't really love each other, I'm immature, I lack self-esteem, and I'm going to hell in a beautifully decorated handbasket.

I could have sworn we were happy...oh well.

[cplnuswing]

I was going to hit the Dr. Phil message boards soon for some entertainment. I checked late last night and there were already 95 pages of posts. I read the first five pages then decided wait a day or two for it to burn itself out and then make an evening of skimming the whole thing. For some reason, I get a big kick out of reading some of the over the top posts on the talk show or tv station message boards when there is a big expose on "sex in the suburbs".

[Ellyanne77]

We also read through the boards and unfortunately missed the show. Something we were talking about last night is why in the world people go onto a board like that and spend hours defending the lifestyle. I mean to us the only people who know that we are doing this are on this board and our site...aka also in the lifestyle.
Going on the board and trying to make people understand will never work and is such a waste. It's not like there is some person on there who believes my husband and I are doomed and doing the most immoral thing in the world will read my posts and say ohhhh I was wrong this is great and it's your personal choice not for me...
Seriously there are some that were supportive that said not for me but whatever floats your boat and some that down right said one man didn't love his wife b/c they were in the lifestyle (that person will never understand)!! In my opinion those people who judge without the willingness to learn or try to understand don't deserve my story nor will they get it.

We know why we do this...we know it's not for everyone. We chose to talk to others who not only have taken the time to learn what this lifestyle is all about but who are also involved.

We just avoid confrontation and enjoy our lives together. We did like I said read the boards on Dr. Phil's site but I can tell you we enjoy reading the forums here more

[cplnuswing]

Originally Posted by Ellyanne77

Something we were talking about last night is why in the world people go onto a board like that and spend hours defending the lifestyle.

I was sorely tempted to do that exact thing, but in the end decided I just didn't want to spend the time. Part of the temptation is the perverse pleasure in debating someone who doesn't even know what the word debate means and after a while you can just make them look foolish, which hopefully will make them a little more hesitant to spout off next time about some other subject that really doesn't effect them either way but they want to make a big deal about it.

Originally Posted by Ellyanne77

Going on the board and trying to make people understand will never work and is such a waste.

For most people, you're right, won't work. But, although the vast majority are unreachable, there are some who can be reached. By reached I mean not to get them to come over to "our side" but to realize that swingers are not what they think we are. I always get a kick out of how the high and mighty types think we are serial rapists, sexual predators, and any other terrible thing they can think of, and wonder how in the hell they make that jump. Have an affair, maybe hear some tut-tutting from them but no big deal, happens all the time. A couple chooses together to play with others, and it is some sort of terrible crime against humanity.

Originally Posted by Ellyanne77

We know why we do this...we know it's not for everyone.

Yep, that's right. Unfortunately, we don't get the same from the other side though and since they get their information spoon fed to them from places like Dr. Phil and his website, I think that is what tempts people to get on there and try to explain the lifestyle to counteract whatever sensationalistic hatchet job was done (which happily didn't seem to be the case this time).

[daisy girl]

I just finished watching the show on DVR. I was so disappointed. I expected it to be an objective show about swingers. I was wrong on two counts. First, this was not a show about swingers, it was a show about persons with relationship issues. The first had a self esteem issue, the next had issues with control and a general lack of humanity. Next, Dr. Phil did not seem open-minded to me. He kept asking questions like "why would you do this?"

I guess, there will never be a show about normal everyday swingers...most swingers are discrete and like their anonymity.