VH1 Secret Life of Swingers

[BodyScape02]

Did anyone here see the VH1 special last night on “The Secret World of Swingers?” We watched but ended up wondering why after it was over. Basically, they profiled three couples and one club.

There was the New York club, which had a seedy, bohemian-cool, dirty atmosphere. The host of the parties seemed like a pimp sort of dude and even dressed like one for the Halloween party they held. It was very apparent he was cashing in on the “sex industry.” We joked about how it seemed that for all the $$ this guy raked in, he certainly didn’t spend it on the appearance of the place…LOL We feel so lucky to have a local place to go to that is classy and clean! I guess we’re just too old to be impressed with shabby-sheik….

It seems we also differ in that we don’t feel the need to be recognized in the “swing community” and part of a “cool crowd.” Different stokes and all that I guess…

One couple was from New York; we didn’t care much for them. We like people we socialize with to have a little more character about them. Now, we’re not saying there was anything wrong with them. They just seemed as shallow as a birdbath is all.

They said something interesting, that “swinging saved [their] relationship.” Ours was great to begin with; swinging didn’t “save ours.” To us, what we now do on occasion is just for fun and entertainment. We don’t thrive on it. We are enough for us; we only do this to fulfill an occasional need to be really naughty. Swinging in no way is the sole definition of who we are as a couple. How do you all feel about that statement; that “swinging saved” a relationship? Doesn’t that imply that the relationship was faulty going into swinging?

They also showed a “Newbie” couple. After the first 5 minutes of seeing them before they went to a swing party I turned to my sweetie and said, “They’re going to have a train wreck.” They never really discussed what to expect from each other. They had NO ground rules and didn’t know each other’s limits at all. When they did try to discuss the matter both would tense up and sort of stonewall the other. They should have never gone and it ended what appeared to be a good relationship. That whole episode made me a bit sad really. After coming to this board for so long, even before we began swinging, we understood that the only real way to enjoy this and stay together is to communicate and be on the same page. It was truly terrible to watch.

The third couple was from PA, the eastern side specifically. They seemed to be like the typical couples we have here in PA. Nice, normal, people you would meet at just about anywhere PA. They seemed to have a good rapport with each other and enjoyed themselves a lot. There was one part when they went into a hotel room with another couple while the cameras rolled that seemed a bit painfully awkward. But then again, who wouldn’t be awkward with cameras rolling the first time you’re with a new couple?? LOL

The only thing that sort of bugged us was their son, whose 15, is now going to be aware of what his parents do. I’d love to know how they explained this to him. Imagine, “son, your mother and I are going to be on VH1 having sex with other people…” That is a conversation we would dread! What worried us is not so much the fact that not only does this kid have to deal with his own budding sexuality as well as his parents, no, what worried us was how are the other kids in school going to treat him now. I can only imagine how cruel the other teens are going to be, “Hey dude, your mom’s a ho! I saw her on TV f*cking strangers!” Yoinks. Being that they are from PA, we know how close knit and closed minded our communities could be. I just hope this kid is NOT prevented from dating too many girls by fathers who may worry that “swinging” is hereditary.

What were your thoughts on this show?

~D2

[LikeMinds321]

I did not see this show. However, I want to comment because it is obvious that I would have HATED it.

One of my pet peeves is the lack of quality well researched reporting on TV. This show certainly seems the case. If the reporter--and everyone working on the story--would have read this board for just an hour, think of all they would have learned!

First and foremost, you don't get into swinging to "save a relationship."

Worst of all, I think of all those not in the Lifestyle who have been given a very limited view of swinging, and an unhealthy one at that.

LM

[JustAskJulie]

Just looked up the show. It is scheduled to air again on Saturday at 1pm EST on VH1.

[BodyScape02]

Originally Posted by BodyScape02

I just hope this kid is prevented from dating too many girls by fathers who may worry that “swinging” is hereditary.

That was supposed to be "NOT" prevented....I edited it...

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Just looked up the show. It is scheduled to air again on Saturday at 1pm EST on VH1.

Thanks for the tip, Julie. We will make sure we watch the show.

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

One of my pet peeves is the lack of quality well researched reporting on TV. This show certainly seems the case. If the reporter--and everyone working on the story--would have read this board for just an hour, think of all they would have learned!

Although the three couples featured on this show don't appear to be a representative sample of this lifestyle, the producers were probably limited by the lack of people who were willing to be interviewed and filmed for such a project. We all would love to think that those of us on this board represent what swinging is really about, but we are curious as to how many of us would be willing to participate on such a program.

[potluck564]

Looks like the show is airing again at 1 AM on VH1... not PM.

[Tom & Bonnie]

I watched the show last night, Bonnie would've too but she fell asleep, poor dear! Anyway, I have to agree about the New Yorkers, That "Club" looked like a dump and I got the impression that the "Greggo" was a single dude that could only get sex by throwing a party.

The newbie couple did appear to be headed toward a "Train Wreck" for sure, The guy was typical of so many.. He could handle another woman but if another guy had designs on his woman... Look out!

The couple in Wilkes-Barre, PA I thought was the best in the bunch. I even sent them a thank you email this morning to their screen name on Swinglifestyle.com The thank you was for being an ordinary, down to earth, non Jerry Springer Type Swinger.

As far as their son, well we have three boys ourselves, own and operate a large swingers club here, been together for over 24 years on our first marriage and tell our sons we attribute our success and love for being open with one another and our friends. they know we're swingers, but we don't tell them what happens in our bedrooms as we don't want to know what happens in theirs. They seem to be just fine with that and so do their friends...

All in all, the special could've used a better angle but sometimes you have to work with what they bring ya and any swingers special that's not totaly negative is a plus!

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by potluck564

Looks like the show is airing again at 1 AM on VH1... not PM.

You are correct. Thank you for pointing that out.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Tom & Bonnie

I watched the show last night, Bonnie would've too but she fell asleep, poor dear! Anyway, I have to agree about the New Yorkers, That "Club" looked like a dump and I got the impression that the "Greggo" was a single dude that could only get sex by throwing a party.

I was wondering what club it was.... Greggo's Love Loft? I recall someone asking about that club in the Clubs forums a week or so ago. I've heard bad things about so many of the NYC clubs that I had a few different ones running through my head initially.

Thanks for the time correction!
I am watching it right now.....

Didnt even know about it till I checked out this thread!
This board kicks ass!!

Well I started watching half way through but the newbie couple didnt seem "Newbie" to me.
I consider a newbie couple a couple where both are intersted and take the steps together.

It seemed like she pushed him into something he didnt want.

As far as the club owner in New York...
I didnt see a problem with his pimp outfit. It seemed everyone was in some kind of costume like it was a theme party. He was throwing it so a pimp outfit seemed like a pretty cool idea to me.

But I didnt see the whole thing so maybe I missed something.

The couple who let their son in on what they do seemed WAY over the top to me.

And the fact they brought a camera crew into their house to tape a show that was going to be broadcast nationaly showed little respect for their son.

They said "They have nothing to hide... its who THEY are".

They are right up to a point. It may be who they are not who their son is.

Kids that age are addicted to VH1 and I am sure plenty of kids he knows have seen this. I think it shows VERY bad parenting skills and they aughta be ashamed of them selves for putting their son on national, if not international, TV exposing their lifestyle.

Just my thoughts.

[WA_Cple]

We just saw the show... and we agree with everything folks on the board had to say.

The only somewhat normal run of the mill swing couple was the couple from small town PA. We have 3 children and we work very hard to keep them totally out of our lifestyle. We also live in a very small town so we have a profile on Swing Lifestyle but don't have any pictures on our profile. The biggest concern that we have with the swinging lifestyle is maintaining our privacy... so it was pretty surprising to find them being so open and I certainly wouldn't want to put my kids through what their son may face.

I also didn't like the fact that this guy Greggo screens his members with pictures, etc. so that only the beautiful people can attend his parties. I guess some people are into that but being a BBW myself I can only say - variety is the spice of life But if thats the way he wants to run his club then more power to him.

I thought they did the lifestyle a great service in a way because it did show what bad can happen if people aren't on the same page with their feelings but I think the producers could have dug a bit deeper and found this web site and delved into the more real issues a bit more but isn't that the case with everything the media is involved with?

Anyway.... I'm not the most profound person but wanted to give my 2cents.

BTW... our internet service has been down for the past few days and I feel so out of touch!

Hugs to all

Mrs WA

[JustAskJulie]

Just watched the show. Greggo is definately someone that gives me a bad vibe watching him during the candid stuff but he had some really good comments during the interviews. You really can't judge him based on what they show without talking to him yourself. Editing is a wonderful thing.

The PA couple seems very straight forward, but them allowing their son to be shown in the show doesn't seem right to me. Considering where this show is airing I can only imagine that many of his friends will see it and he will have to deal with much teasing and such from them. As for right or wrong, that goes back to this thread. I can't imagine how hard that date had to be. First meetings with new couples are always hard but with a camera and cameramen hanging around, I can only see that killing a mood. I would love to know what they told the kid about the documentary ahead of time. Did they tell him it was a documentary on swinging that they were taking part in? Or something else?

JP & Nikka just struck me as straight up bedpost notchers. On the upside they didn't seem to try to say that they were anything else. To each their own.

I agree with whoever made the comment that newbie couple seemed more like the girl was pulling him into it blind. He wanted to talk about it and she kinda just shut him down multiple times. It would be easy to say that male half of that couple was rather close minded, but I don't think that would be a fair statement either. I feel kinda bad for the guy in a way because he really didn't know what he was being pulled into. But at the same time his early comments about how they could play with a girl but not a guy. He strikes me as rather jealous. To him every time Ellie spoke to a guy she was coming onto him.

"There's a possibility that we are gettin in over our heads..." Um yeah that about sums it up.

This is a good example of what happens when you a) don't have a strong enough relationship to start with, b) don't communicate properly about things before you start.

More often than not the things that books and docs show as "the bad side of swinging" are these types of things where it's couples who never should have swung in the first place.

This "documentary" was different than most I've seen on swinging since it actually featured younger attractive couples, which isn't what you typically see. All in all I'd say it was good as a documentary. It portrayed things as they were and didn't try to say that it was good or bad (as a true documentary should). If a documentary makes a statement one way or the other then it's not a real documentary. And while one or more of the couples may not have portrayed our ideal of what we'd like swinger to be, I think the couples they showed did portray an accurate sampling of those you will find in the lifestyle. Perhaps, not a true cross section as there are many more than 3 different types of people, but for the alloted time I think they chose a good sampling.

[GirlieZ]

We watched it. We weren't impressed. Hubby felt that it wasn't a true cross section of swinging couples. He felt that the regular swinging couple was not represented here. I asked "What's a regular swinging couple"? He wanted to see someone that wasn't carved out of butter~~regular folk like your next door neighbor. An older couple perhaps? I don't know.

I felt really uncomfortable for the son of the PA couple. I could tell that he was rather uneasy about VH1 being there and filming his parents. The comment about him "not knowing, but when Mom and Dad go out he knows they dress hot" really made my stomach turn. No teenager wants to think of his parents in a sexual way. That grossed me out. Whats going to happen when his friends see this? OY VEY! Other than that~~they were a good couple~~seemed happy in what they were doing.

The un-married couple who's male counterpart was jealous...YOWIE! It seemed that she was dragging him into the situation kicking and screaming. Once they got to the almighty greggo's party it seemed that she was very open to anything and everything and not into making her date very comfortable. I thought that for what they represented~~the "not so good side of swinging"~~they were a good couple.

The other couple what went to greggo's party was in it solely to screw as many people as they could.

Greggo--eh. 'Nuff said.

I watched the show from start to finish. Hubby watched the first half and said that it didn't really represent his viewpoints on swinging. He felt that the show could have done better by seeking out several couples across a wide spectrum and interview them, rather than show their experiences for what he called "shock value".

Zgirl

[RW1F]

Did anyone catch it? I just saw the last two minutes. I checked the VH1 website and it says it will be on again on Sunday..... I set the TIVO....