Emotional & logistical problems of an open marriage

[CallMeLoki]

Originally Posted by Ruff

This has to have been a fake thread from the beginning, I mean the red flags were so obvious and then the whole "I've just read her chat logs" like it NEVER occurred to him to read at least one BEFORE he lets the college aged hormone machine spooged all over and in his wife? Have to give him/her/them (?) credit though, they did keep many, many people on the hook for 3-4 mths AND then came back for a 2 wk cameo...

Uh, dude, believe what you want, but this is real. It DID occur to me to go read her chat logs...she shared them with me several times before she made her 1st trip to his area. I was looking for any alarms that she might not be safe with him. I think I asked to read them once after her trip but before the plan was made for him to come here. From reading the whole picture from a couple weeks before he came to a month and a half after, it seems that my wife's animosity toward me showed up after I started actively looking for my own playmate. If I had read her chat log the week before he came here, I would have called a stop to the whole thing. But I didn't feel like I needed to read them...we had made some very strong promises to each other and I completely trusted her to keep them. Oh how I WISH I'd read those damned chat logs the week before he came here. (Of course, who knows...even if I had, we might still be where we are now...if she's this hurt/angry because the weekend didn't go well, she might be the same hurt/angry that it didn't happen at all?) I think she got sucked in over her head without me realizing it...I acted like a trusting fool and let it happen right under my nose.

Believe me, pal, it's all real.

Loki

[Ruff]

In this scenario, whether real or imagined, it is more than obvious to everyone reading that there were problems with it. What the supposed "incident" was in fact, was a cuckholding in progress rather than a "swing experience". (and not a swing-related cuckholding for those who want to say that is part of the LS) The wife in this drama has taken advantage of the opportunity to cheat on her husband in private and then in his face with him being "forced" off to the side at her whim. Now I know he had the "carrot" of his own FMF 3sum to make him willing to swallow this load but still she fucks Doogie Howser as soon as you leave with the kids? C'mon that's just disrespect with a capital "Fuck Him".
Also from the supposed reactions of the 2 of them it sounds like either you were hounding them for "action" or.... THEY JUST WANTED TO FUCK LIKE RABBITS AND BE LEFT ALONE! Screw your plans for the LS and 3sums...
She/It/They admitted she's not a swinger and never will be that doesn't mean she wouldn't fuck a guy behind your back or in front of your face... it just means you won't like it.


Another point to be made, anyone else notice in the story that the wife and paperboy, I mean "boyfriend" were in engaged in cybering for mths on end and then we get this elaborate online tale of woe, sex gone wrong and chat logs aplenty?

Originally Posted by CallMeLoki

Uh, dude, believe what you want, but this is real. It DID occur to me to go read her chat logs...she shared them with me several times before she made her 1st trip to his area. I was looking for any alarms that she might not be safe with him. I think I asked to read them once after her trip but before the plan was made for him to come here. From reading the whole picture from a couple weeks before he came to a month and a half after, it seems that my wife's animosity toward me showed up after I started actively looking for my own playmate. If I had read her chat log the week before he came here, I would have called a stop to the whole thing. But I didn't feel like I needed to read them...we had made some very strong promises to each other and I completely trusted her to keep them. Oh how I WISH I'd read those damned chat logs the week before he came here. (Of course, who knows...even if I had, we might still be where we are now...if she's this hurt/angry because the weekend didn't go well, she might be the same hurt/angry that it didn't happen at all?) I think she got sucked in over her head without me realizing it...I acted like a trusting fool and let it happen right under my nose.

Believe me, pal, it's all real.

Loki

[ItchyNScratchy]

Irresponsibility. No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.

[Chicup]

Ruff I've been on and around internet chat boards since they first started having them, and while anything is possible it is not probable that loki made up an elaborate troll post.

I had the same feelings at first, just because of the insanity of it, but trolls very quickly tire of their work, and don't go off on so many odd tangents.

No, I'm afraid this one is real. I'd prefer it to be a troll post, I understand trolls better than what happened here

[bbarnsworth]

I don't particularly care if we were trolled or not. To me, the effect is the same. I'm not going to exert any more energy on these people. They've routinely ignored advice and are responsible for getting themselves in the situation they are in. To cap it off, they are now in a place in their relationship where they need professional help. The advice and aid of even the best intentioned posters here can not match that of a professional in this case.

The only thing I hope to see from this thread is that it either dies or we hear some long distance down the road that they reconciled or divorced.

[NCfuncouple98]

The only thing I have left to say on this:

This is the perfect post to send all newbies to. Anyone considering swinging that is still "curious", "trying to convince a partner", etc. Because this will absolutely enlighten a lot of folks that are considering similar situations.

I hope many can learn from this catastrophe, and realize that this is NOT swinging.

[mfmyeahbaby]

my friend you sound exactly like us. you have absolutely all the ingredients to have a very explosive sexually charged great time. you have a great history between you guys (sex, love, friendship) and you are turned on by her charged nature for this guy (who is harmless to you as a couple as long as you respect your boundaries) which for me is the main reason why mfm play is my preferred play. I suspect that he will (if he hasn't already) show you guys much respect for your relationship (mainly because of the upfront nature especially from her) since it's nothing left for deceit, why not play by the rules and enjoy. I've been lucky to have enjoyed many mfm sessions where my wife and I and (my life long friend) our chosen third enjoyed great sex he fully respects our boundaries and plays within them and nothing they can ever do sexually can ever cause us any issues. I think your starting out in a way that may open many doors but at the same time teach you what you do and don't enjoy with respect.

[Ruff]

This definitely shows the perils of posting to a VERY long thread without reading all the way to the end...
man, did I cringe while reading this.

Originally Posted by mfmyeahbaby

my friend you sound exactly like us. you have absolutely all the ingredients to have a very explosive sexually charged great time. you have a great history between you guys (sex, love, friendship) and you are turned on by her charged nature for this guy (who is harmless to you as a couple as long as you respect your boundaries) which for me is the main reason why mfm play is my preferred play. I suspect that he will (if he hasn't already) show you guys much respect for your relationship (mainly because of the upfront nature especially from her) since it's nothing left for deceit, why not play by the rules and enjoy. I've been lucky to have enjoyed many mfm sessions where my wife and I and (my life long friend) our chosen third enjoyed great sex he fully respects our boundaries and plays within them and nothing they can ever do sexually can ever cause us any issues. I think your starting out in a way that may open many doors but at the same time teach you what you do and don't enjoy with respect.

[Cpl2share]

Watched this thread from the beggining. Didn't feel any need to add to the good advice of the other "old timers". But I gotta say. Either someone is making up a bunch of BS or they are completely stupid! I love Mrs. Cpl dearly and there are things in her past that I know about. There are things in my past that she knows about. Here is the crux: IF she had been raped by two guys at the age of 17 I would shoot my pecker off before I ever considered asking her for a threesome with another guy. Who in the hell has that kind of thought with that kind of history? I stand by my opinion: Loki: Either you are full of shit or just plain an inconsiderate stupid man.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by mfmyeahbaby

my friend you sound exactly like us. you have absolutely all the ingredients to have a very explosive sexually charged great time. you have a great history between you guys (sex, love, friendship) and you are turned on by her charged nature for this guy (who is harmless to you as a couple as long as you respect your boundaries) which for me is the main reason why mfm play is my preferred play. I suspect that he will (if he hasn't already) show you guys much respect for your relationship (mainly because of the upfront nature especially from her) since it's nothing left for deceit, why not play by the rules and enjoy. I've been lucky to have enjoyed many mfm sessions where my wife and I and (my life long friend) our chosen third enjoyed great sex he fully respects our boundaries and plays within them and nothing they can ever do sexually can ever cause us any issues. I think your starting out in a way that may open many doors but at the same time teach you what you do and don't enjoy with respect.

[avid]

Originally Posted by Cpl2share

Either someone is making up a bunch of BS or they are completely stupid! Here is the crux: IF she had been raped by two guys at the age of 17 I would shoot my pecker off before I ever considered asking her for a threesome with another guy. Who in the hell has that kind of thought with that kind of history? I stand by my opinion: Loki: Either you are full of shit or just plain an inconsiderate stupid man.

Sadly, Cpl, estimates are that 1 in 3 women have experienced some kind of sexual or physical abuse in their life. If never having lived this abuse was a criteria for swinging, there would be a whole lot fewer swingers out there.

History of abuse is not a sentence to lifelong victimization.

Besides that, I feel that Loki is dealing with enough without calling him names.

[CallMeLoki]

Thanks for that last post...yeah, I'm dealing with enough already without being called more names than I already have.

Sif and I separated the 2nd weekend in January...she moved out and got an apartment. I won't even go into any details from along the way...it'll just get me feeling PO'd again.

I've had a few weeks of solitude to let my emotions settle a little. End result: I feel very betrayed by my wife. I did after first reading her chat logs, and I still do now. I said "yes" far too many times merely because I wanted her to enjoy herself and her "gift". I did the same things for her that I'd want her to do for me. (Isn't that how we're supposed to treat each other?) I see this as equivalent to giving someone a really nice set of cutlery, they say "thanks!", then they proceed to cut your arm off with one of the knives. I think I've certainly learned a few lessons, including some hard ones about not allowing my own boundaries to be crossed.

Loki

[CallMeLoki]

Originally Posted by Cpl2share

...Loki: Either you are full of shit or just plain an inconsiderate stupid man.

Cpl2share...I've had enough name-calling from my loving and considerate wife over the past month to last me a lifetime. Fuck you and the brilliant white horse you rode in on. My stupidity was in absolutely trusting my wife to not make choices that would hurt me or our marriage. She pursued what she wanted without regard for my feelings or our commitments to each other.

Loki

[MrkLin]

Holy Mother of Pearl - is this thread still here...?

Think I'll write a book about it, then maybe sell it as a screenplay.

Nahhhhh... Nobody would believe it - it needs a car chase or two...

[NCfuncouple98]