Emotional & logistical problems of an open marriage

[LokisFemaleHalf]

The room is booked and the condoms are purchased. If he is a no-show I have my toys, a room for myself for three days, and the internet to keep me company, plus good books, a stocked mini-bar, etc.

[LokisFemaleHalf]

The room is booked, the condoms arrived in the mail yesterday, and we have 20 days and counting. If he doesn't show, I get a three-day vacation in a great hotel with my toys, some good books, and a stocked mini-bar. He'll show, though.

[fun4Ds]

Way too cool Isn't it amazing. Here you guys came here as new to all this and Its Mrs.fun and I who are learning some things from you both. I've always thought that was one of the marvels about the Swingers Board.

I hope you keep in touch with everyone with how you feel about things working out. If things go as planned, I can only imagine the insight you might add to this.
I mean, I cant say that hot wife, milf , older woman, younger man scenarios, are something I see allot of on the board.

I hate to be the one asking all the questions now. But do you have any plans of continuing this to a possible MFM situation ? I know you both have talked about MFM FMF possibilities.... Now thats something we know about

[socolais]

I've been following this thread quietly because I don't have experience to add. It sounds to me like yall have made informed decisions and accepted the risks. All that remains is the adventure and I wish yall all the luck in the world.

[CallMeLoki]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

I hate to be the one asking all the questions now. But do you have any plans of continuing this to a possible MFM situation ? I know you both have talked about MFM FMF possibilities.... Now thats something we know about

Yes, we both feel like we have thought this through carefully. And yes, I hope he may gain enough comfort level to want to come here and do an MFM with us, if my wife decides that's something she'd like to do. I'm definitely game. I don't think either one of us expect this to be a regular thing, but I'm fine with it if it's something she wants to do more than once. I'm quite comfortable to just go with the flow and see where it takes us.

And yes, my wife's gift back to me is either an FMF threesome, or just a similar little fling with the person of my choice (although I'd certainly prefer the FMF...that's an experience I've never had and would love to!) Go see the thread on "seducing a vanilla single female" that I posted not too long ago. It's a bit...um...controversial too , but maybe you guys will have some thoughts on that as well since you've done an FMF or three.

Here's a linky-link: Seducing a vanilla single female (as a couple)?

Cheers,
Loki

[doctoroctagon]

Ahhhhh...!!

What happened? Did it go well?

[CallMeLoki]

Originally Posted by doctoroctagon

Ahhhhh...!!

What happened? Did it go well?

Hey...nothing has transpired yet. My wife has the....consummation ...of our agreement planned for two weekends from now, which is essentially a weekend fling alone with her young cyber-BF. I'm hoping that it will lead to him being comfortable enough to have an MFM with both of us. But if it doesn't, I still want her to really enjoy her experience.

I'm putting some effort into meeting some candidate ladies, and my wife has delivered quite a few assists for me so far (in terms of making comments to let the lady know that she can flirt all she wants with me, come have drinks with me or both of us, etc.) There's one casual friend who's an old co-worker (divorced with kids, not looking for a relationship but obviously quite horny from some of her comments), but I'd almost rather fix her up with a really shy buddy of mine (am I being too unselfish here? ). She's an attractive woman, but I'm not sure how turned on by her I am. I didn't used to be, but she has really improved her appearance since she got divorced, so I dunno...we'll see, I guess. She's made it pretty clear that she thinks I'm quite attractive, and we've flirted back and forth over IM a few times since I bumped into her at a concert recently. Again, though she'd probably need to get comfortable with me first before we introduced my wife into the mix (or maybe not!).

I think I've realized that a good choice for me would probably be divorcee's with kids! They are busy with their kids and many are not really looking for a serious relationship...just looking for a "friend with benefits". I figure at least some of those might consider an FMF experience if it were planted in their minds gently. I might have to do a similar little "fling" with one of them to get her comfy with me, but my wife is fine with that.

One really close and really attractive female friend of ours made a joke recently about having a threesome with me and my wife. I actually think she's a bit curious about it all...we know two other couples who are either swingers or have open marriages (and she doesn't know what we're up to, but somehow I get the feeling she is just a little suspicious). So, I kinda think her joke may have been just a tad serious. How tempting that thought is ...BUT...we have such a good friendship I don't think it would be worth risking damage to that over a little carnal gratification. Ya know? Plus she's married and her hubby is a close friend too...I simply couldn't see myself betraying his trust. (I don't think he'd betray mine...I know he'd love to bonk my wife, I'm sure he'd depend on my wife to tell me that it happened, but if I point-blank asked him, I don't think he'd lie to me. My wife isn't at all interested in him, so I really don't think he'll ever get that chance. )

In terms of my wife and I, I sure do feel like all this is really pushing our boundaries in terms of trust for each other. I see that as a good thing...there's nothing more reassuring to give your partner total freedom (even to have sex with someone else) and watch them NOT run off with the object of their infatuation.

Anyway, that's where we stand right now.

Cheers,
Loki

[Mr.Essex]

As a bookish and shy man who owes almost all of his early sexual education to the efforts of older women, I doff my hat to the two of you. I was led into this lifestyle by an older woman, and re-introduced to the lifestyle (when I was at my lowest point) by another older woman, so I'm finding it difficult to see any cons to your decision. One piece of advice, though: Use the opinions of the other members of the website as a sounding board.

April 2007, I made the acquaintance of my second seducer on a mesage board. We met, we enjoyed a weekend together, then we made plans for our next rendesvous. But, when I asked her about her reasons for inviting me to her home, she admitted that she performed a full site search of all of my posts. IOW, she re-read all of our correspondences, then backed up her opinion with research of what I posted when I wasn't trying to make a good impression.

[CallMeLoki]

Originally Posted by Mr.Essex

April 2007, I made the acquaintance of my second seducer on a mesage board. We met, we enjoyed a weekend together, then we made plans for our next rendesvous. But, when I asked her about her reasons for inviting me to her home, she admitted that she performed a full site search of all of my posts. IOW, she re-read all of our correspondences, then backed up her opinion with research of what I posted when I wasn't trying to make a good impression.

Yup, we have researched this young fellow quite well...my wife knows where he lives, where he graduated from college, what his degree is and what his GPA was, where he lives, the names of his parents and brothers, what his mom and dad do for a living, every post he's made on the forum where they met, she's passed his resume on to a job contact she knows, etc...neither one of us are at all concerned that she will be in any danger from him. Believe me, the last thing I would ever do is put my wife in danger (or allow her to put herself in any kind of danger).

Loki

[LokisFemaleHalf]

I am sooo excited! 7 days and I will be with my boy toy! Did I also mention that I am helping him get a job? This guy is totally safe, inexperienced, and this will be so good for my self-esteem! What woman doesn't want a willing and eager partner who is entranced by her????? Cannot wait to issue a full report, but only after hubby reclaims his woman!!!!!

[fun4Ds]

We are watching the date as well

Kind of ironic, your starting and adventure soon and we have abruptly stopped.... for now. Keep the torch lit for us

Thanks for staying in touch...... We have our fingers crossed, wishing the best for you two

[CallMeLoki]

Yeah, I have to admit that I'm thrilled for her. I truly want her to enjoy this to the max...if you're gonna have a little taboo weekend fling, might as well make the most of it, right? I'm cutting her off this Sunday and taking her toys away too. I want her to be so horny when she gets there that she gets wet from looking at a doorknob!

Loki

[fun4Ds]

Well guess who we are thinking about today

Have a great weekend

[mixtupcpl]

Im really curious how this ultimately goes. My wife and I, early(ish) in our relationship did the "open" thing, but it was really to repair something we needed to repair (we have a long history). I have to say it was uncomfortable and VERY hard for me, but we made it through and it made us closer than ever. We now flirt with the idea of swinging as an extremely secure couple in our 30s with total mutual trust.

I have to confess I'm not sure I "get" the desire for a really stable, trusting, couple to not want to start by finding a connection with another couple in the LS (that is the only way we would go), but to each his/her own!

It may be too late now, but just PLEASE keep your eyes open. NEVER assume you can spot a predator (trust me - I have known some bad people that I know someone would never spot) and NEVER assume you have a hormone powered 22 year old "figured out". Also, just remember that a situation like this WILL change everyone (including Mr College Grad). And you need to be prepared for swings (no pun) in behavior afterward.

Im pulling for you guys and hoping that this all has a great and sexy ending. For me personally, it's all red flags, but no one can ever know the full situation as well as you since you're there.

Also, kudos to the forum members here for being amazing as always!

[bbarnsworth]

Here's hoping it all works out to the highest expectations. Let us know how it goes. We're all waiting....