Is Great monogomous sex possible?

[Babysteps]

After spending a HUGE amount of time reading many of the forums,( actually borderline ridiculous sometimes, lol ), and thinking about some of the responses that I have read, and sometimes thinking, " YES, YES, I get it", but then I'll encounter something that I'm a little uncomfortable with and think, " Ohhh, NO, NO, forget it", I HAVE TO ASK........Does anyone here think that its possible, for monogamous sex to be HOT??? Now I know that as time passes, itcan be a little difficult to keep things " spicy", but if you love eachother, and are committed to the relationship, AND ARE WILLING TO PUT IN THE EFFORT.....Is it not within the realm of possibility?? Swinging.....sometimes I TOTALLY get it......sometimes I can't even fathom it! Do you think that all those who practice monogamy ( more than happily I might add), are for the most part denying themselves an aspect of thier sexuality, that if they opened their minds for just a few seconds.....could possibly lead to some of the most mind blowing sex of their lives??

I hope that made sense, I can usually voice my opinion pretty well.

[NandTfromCA]

Monogamy can be great. Some of the “values” that people leverage to mandate monogamy are not so great

We did and still do have mind blowing sex with each other. If we quite swinging our sex lives would be less varied but still awesome.

We don’t do it for better sex. We do it for different sex. Just like you don’t watch your favorite movie every day (if you do, then you really need to get laid ).

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Babysteps

Do you think that all those who practice monogamy ( more than happily I might add), are for the most part denying themselves an aspect of thier sexuality, that if they opened their minds for just a few seconds.....could possibly lead to some of the most mind blowing sex of their lives??

Its late but I'd like to chime in about this bit, more later after bed

I've had some mind blowing sex while swinging, I've also had some god awful, wish I never did that sex as well. It was 'mind blowing' because the experiance was very new, but it was no more 'mind blowing' than 1-1 sex was early on.

So while we have had some really great swinging sex, sex itself is fleeting. No matter how great it is, its gone and the feelings are forgotten soon after. For us it is the closeless and trust that swinging has brought to our marriage that has made it worth while. I could live without the sex, but I'd never want to go back to my vanilla jealousies or insecurities ever again.

[intuition897]

Absolutely, monogamy can be just as hot. It just depends on what is right for the couple in question.

But I have to Dito NandT and Chicup in that I can't ever see myself turning around and picking up my old insecure and jealous habits. It never added anything but stress to the relationship. But Mr. intuition and I have actually been completely monogamous for the past 2 1/2 years now, with no negative repercussions. Do we miss swinging? Sure we do! But it takes on the feeling of that little tropical island getaway that you'd love to get back to whenever you get the chance. But vanilla life goes on and getting away together to get into mischief like this is becoming a rarer and rarer thing.

[Babysteps]

Thank you all for taking the time to respond.

[sereneiders]

I may refomulate your question to point out the flaws:

If, after swinging, your were having to choose one of this options, and stick to it because if you dont you'll be hit by a lightning bolt, what would you choose?

1) Have monogamous sex, EXCLUSIVELY with your wife.
or
2) Have recreational sex EXCLUSIVELY, with as many partners as you want, EXCEPT your wife (you may live with her and enjoy everything else but sex).

Well, my answer is 1, without second toughts, without hesitation nor any shade of doubt in my mind.

I guess this answers the core of your original question.

Then you may ask: "ok, then... why do you swing?"

I do swing because of the same reason dogs licks their own balls... because I CAN.

[Alura]

Absolutely nothing can replace sex when love is a part of it. The love and the communication is the most vital part, something swinging cannot provide.

Similarly, the thrill of someone new, added to the "forbidden fruit" aspect, cannot be replaced by love-making.

Isn't it great that we swingers can have our cake and eat it, too?


Mr. Alura

[WesternSwing]

Monogamous sex can indeed be hot. I know it is between Mrs. WS and I! It think it is a common misconception among non-swingers (vanillas we call them) that the reason we swing is we're bored with monogamous sex. For a small minority, this may be the case. For the majority of us that is not the case. Swinging is additional sex, not replacement sex. We don't need to swing, we like to swing. As a matter of fact, Mrs. WS and I are on a little hiatus right now because our life is so busy we barely have time for each other much less including others. Are we missing anything... Nope.

I don't think that those that are purely monogamous are denying themselves anything. That is how they like to do it and are equipped emotionally to do it. There is nothing wrong with them at all. We just have different fantasies or are better equipped emotionally to handle acting on those fantasies. Their way is not wrong, just like ours isn't (although many would like you to believe it is). We're just different people and thus do things differently.

Mr. WS

[CuriousInOregon]

HOT DAMN GET OUT OF MY Head westernswing I was just thinking that......

[ohcpl43952]

When we first married, I told my wife that I could probably never commit to monogamy. I was just a slut. But after about 8 years together (all of them in the lifestyle), I could say now that I could probably commit to my wife.

Sex with her is just that good.

As of now, we rarely play. Our great sex has produced too many kids to have much spare time.

[djjwp]

One on one with the wife can be good but if I answer this based on my hottest experience; it would be with swinging. I have never been as excited as seeing her with another guy for the first time. BOING!!!!!

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by CuriousInOregon

HOT DAMN GET OUT OF MY Head westernswing I was just thinking that......

Heehee... I know what you're thinking now. You're a naughty wee monkey, aren't you?

Mr. WS

[CuriousInOregon]

hehehheehe Naughty just happens to be my middle name there western facelick

[kandr2000]

Although we have done our share of messing around, we are just as happy having hot and heavy sex. We do alot of talking and fantasizing, but are very in love and happy with just each other. We dont need to have sex with others its just a plus.

[blinkey]

Originally Posted by CuriousInOregon

hehehheehe Naughty just happens to be my middle name there western facelick

Funny, I thought it was "In".