Welcoming New Members - Whose responsibility is it?

[yawanna]

We attended a fantabulous house party this past weekend, and....I have to say that the hosts totally made the difference.

They set the mood, the pace and had a great influence on the outcome. This couple are outgoing, friendly, warm, funny and sexy. Some of the guests we'd met before, most were new, to us anyway. After a very short while, we had met everyone and were laughing and talking and dancing, because the hosts made sure people met and were comfortable. They had an outdoor hottub, tons of food, music and dancing. Oh, and the play rooms upstairs

Bad weather was an issue for some who couldn't make it, depending where they were travelling from, and it was DAMN cold, too. Even with cancellations, it was still a nice sized crowd ... about 20 people. The cold certainly didn't stop folks (including my husband) from getting into the hottub, which was at 102 degrees I believe.

While we've never been to a house party that was a big yawn or anything...there's always something to watch, or do this one was just superlative. I'd have to say it was the friendly, outgoing, good humour of everyone there. Well, there was ONE couple that stood off to the side 'scoping out' everyone, but they thankfully left early.

Now.... if the clubs would have owners or host couples that actually HOST as in make the guests comfortable and invite them into the fun...well... I'd think their business would soar.

For those wondering about their first house party or hosting one.....no one felt pressured to 'play' or go further than they were comfortable with. And hosting IMHO is all about making sure your guests are comfortable and having a good time.

Can't wait for the next one.

[SluttyWife]

We found a way to work around this at our club. Eliminate the tables! We are more of a cocktail party than anything else.
There are a few seats at the bar in some of the venues we meet at and almost everyone is considerate of the time they spend sitting while others are standing. Our private venue has those little cozy hideaways for people who want to get to know each other a little better but all in all we encourage mingling and mixing foremost and state that on our invites. We also designate our more seasoned members as "hello folks" so to speak. So at least six of us are constantly on the lookout for new faces and usually the first of us to get to them does the introductory rounds. Sometimes we all make a dash for the newbie couple and the affect has always been nothing but their feeling absolutely welcome! It always helps to be as affectionate as possible when we are passing through the crowd. We always greet with a hug and kiss, lloop an arm in theirs, or hold their hand and lead the way. Everyone just positively glows when Sir Mike or I or any one of our beautiful nymphettes strokes both the introduced and the introducee (on the shoulder or arm as we make intros). Suddenly everyone is looking forward to meeting the newbies and our newbies are taken aback by our legendary friendliness.
I recommend that clubs pick out "hello folks" who genuinely like meeting people, can look them in the eye, are attentive to details and are good at making mental notes to share with the club owner after the party.

[JustAskJulie]

I think this responsibility goes both ways.... well actually all 3 ways.

I think a good club should have host couples who show new couples around and introduce them to a few other couples. As a regular (sort of) at a couple of clubs we do try to go around and introduce ourselves when we see a couple that looks like they could use some friendliness (or who appears to be new). And on the third end, just as you get up and introduce yourselves when you are visiting a club for the first time, it's everyone's job to make sure they meet people. You wouldn't walk into a vanilla club and expect someone else to do the intruductions... if you want to meet someone, you meet them.

[Malachista]

At my regular club the sons of the owners do the bartender job, the male host does the checking in and out of the club, and the female does the conversation with the guests.
She knows her regulars very well and so can select what newbies to introduce to what regular.
So everyone who is not doing their best to hide in a corner or run from one playroom to the next in hope of not missing any action will have a good time at that place

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by TNT

As club owners, do you feel your regular members should share in this responsibility or is it totally your responsibility to welcome new members?

I didn't read all the responses (because I'm lazy, that's why), so hope I'm not repeating someone else's thoughts. But here's how I look at it:

If you, as a member, want your club to be a successful club that other clubs dream of becoming, then you'll march your ass over to every new member you can, and welcome them with open arms.

-I'm not great at meeting new folks, but fortunately Mrs two4you is. So, I tag along with her, and we try to say hi to everyone that is new sometime during the night. We look for the ones that have the "Deer in the Headlights" look, just to put them at ease, and let them know we're all just regular people having a good time.

[lovinher]

We went to a club in Columbus(104) the host introduced us to a few of the regulars. throughout the night several of the regulars came up to us and asked if we were having a good time. Sitting around waiting for people to come to you sends a message to others that you are not interested in mingling. So I can see why the regulars would keep their distance. Like Julie said, It works three ways.

Personally I don't think the regulars are obligated or should be expected to make sure newbies like us are having a good time. They are there for their own reasons. Not to baby sit the newcomers.

[JustAskJulie]

Another thought. Sometimes even the regulars don't make it to the club often enough to really know who the other regulars are, let alone to know who the newbies are. So really, everyone just get off your ass and go talk to people.