Whats the best size for a small house party?

[Ed & Bunny]

With as difficult as it sometimes can be in this lifestyle to meet people, we are thinking of starting to throw small house parties. This is for fun only
( we will not be charging any money, just asking for food and soda donations). We want to invite enough people that it will be fun, but not so many that we will spend all our time playing host and not playing. Also what is a good number to invite to make up for no shows? We also plan to allow couples who wish to bring another couple they know along with them, that way we could meet people we night never have thought to invite.

Please let us know what experiences you have had at house parties and what you liked and didnt like. This is not a rush thing as Bunny is going in for surgery next month, and it will still take a while to get our big house more presentable for parties, but we should be looking at doing it towards the end of summer.

[Edison Carter]

Susan here-- Best things about an amazing House Party, because I've been to a couple of amazing ones. First, the hosts can vouch for everyone present. If they can vouch for everyone to be fun, conscientious and fun: even better. Lots of supplies like condoms , etc. Or inform that everyone should come loaded with what they need. Some basic rules of engagement are nice to promote, like a reminder that 'yes' means 'yes' and 'no' means 'no' or if condoms must always be used, or not. Alcohol is fine but drunkenness is not.

Always have too much food.

A clean home. We go so far as to hire a house cleaning service when we host, but that's us.

Now, the thing that can make everything amazingly great, but you have to have everyone's 'buy in': Whether you are married or not, you Play as if single. It made things amazing for me, yet it may not be for your friends.

As far as number of couples, we invite people that we knew would show. For us, five couples and were the most invited. The norm, is perhaps three couples and us. It's a more intimate environment as opposed to physical one. Yet, that was our goal. I like the idea of having sex with the same person(s) yet in several different ways over a weekend or long night.

Have a great time.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Our experience of hosting parties is that about half the people we invite will accept the invitation, about a third of the original invitation list will actually show up at our door. So we count the number of bedrooms we have to be sure that couples who might need or want to stay overnight have their own sleeping room. We have two sofa-beds downstairs just in case. I believe our best-attended soirée had twelve couples, three of whom were staying overnight. The smallest was two couples, many people did not show, which was OK for that occasion as the people who did come are some of our best friends. Don't know how big your place is compared to ours. Not asking for any money is the right thing. Asking people to bring a dish or sodas is good too.

We trust our swinger friends and acquaintances in their choices of other so we do tell them, if you know somebody fun, bring them. What did not work out so well what the occasion when somebody (we don't know he was doing this) invited practically everybody listed at Swinglifestyle within fifty miles including people he had never actually met in-person. Looking in retrospect, this was our fault. The person who made the invitations is a nut; we knew this but ignored the signs.

Biggest piece of advice: if you find yourselves sitting in your front room the afternoon or evening of your party, nobody has yet showed their faces, don't panic. We almost worried ourselves to death the first couple of times. All was OK. People just don't run on a schedule.

Good luck with it all and with Bunny's surgery

[VegasLee]

For about five years we used to do one house party a month at our house outside of the club on a Friday night.

We would only allow 25 people. The party started at 9 p.m. You had to be there by 11 p.m. because we locked the door at that time. The party was over when it was over. Sometimes 2 a.m., other times when the sun came up.

We had couples and singles since most of our crowd liked to party with singles also. Male and Female.

It was BYOB. We provided snacks. You also had to bring your own condoms. We had soft drinks and ice for those that needed it.

The parties where fun and having the "lock time" got most there pretty much on time without having to stop our playing to meet guests after 11 p.m. We had four play area's and those taking a break would hang out in the Living room or the back yard. Most of our parties most would just check their clothes in one of our extra rooms and run around naked. Seems a lot more play happens when you have them out of their clothes.

For a while we would allow guests to bring others but we found many times they would bring newbies that would do nothing but take up space, fully dressed watching others so we put a stop to that.

We also had a rule, you confirm you are coming. If you are a no show and you don't let us know, you did not go on the list again. As long as you let us know ahead of time you are not coming then cool but no call, no show is rude and we did not go for it.

Over all, the parties where fun but we found that many people, even people that consider their self our friends are pigs. Today to many people do not respect the property of others. Found trash in our front yard, condoms behind beds even though each room had a trash can. Somethings "missing" from our home. For years it was great but seems that anymore people just don't have the respect and courtesy that they used to have so we brought the parties to a halt. We keep the parties to the club now and deal with the nonsense there because there it is expected. I don't expect it or want it in my home.

You also have to be considered about neighbors depending on how much parking you have at your home. We did not have a problem because of the location of our home but we know many that had neighbors knocking on their door with a house full of naked people complaining about how people have parked.

Lots of things to consider when inviting people that you may or may not know well into your home. There are up sides to the parties and some serious down sides.

Another thing to think about. You will spend all day cleaning your house and making it perfect. Party all night then spend the next day cleaning your house to make it livable again.

Another thing you will find as the host. You feel obligated to be a good host and many times you end up "out" of the party while being that great host you desire to be. Pretty much the same as owning a club.

We have long time lifestyle friends that say the same thing, they love that we provide the parties so they can have the fun.

Think before you leap. Being the host is not always all it is cracked up to be.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Ed & Bunny

With as difficult as it sometimes can be in this lifestyle to meet people, we are thinking of starting to throw small house parties.

If you find it difficult to meet people through clubs, other parties, or ads, I don't think holding parties is going to offer more opportunities to meet and play.

We also plan to allow couples who wish to bring another couple they know along with them, that way we could meet people we night never have thought to invite.

As has been mentioned by those experienced with hosting parties, it's best to invite the people you know. If you don't already have a number of lifestyle friends I don't recommend opening your parties to bring-along guests or never-met swingers.

We want to invite enough people that it will be fun, but not so many that we will spend all our time playing host and not playing.

I have always found that whether we invite one couple to our home or a dozen people, the work to prepare is the same for me.

When we have invited swingers to our home it has never been more than two couples at one time. It always has been for intentions to play. We are always part of the party then. When hosting a larger party (4 or more couples) I think you must always think of yourselves as being the captain of your ship, keeping an eye out for the well-being of your guests and home. With a swinger party I think you have to have the ability to get relaxed to play while your guests are moving about anywhere in your home unattended. If that would be difficult for you then hosting parties may not be a good idea.

I think VegasLee had the right idea with his rules. Even with his excellent game plan, he and his wife realized the parties were no longer worth hosting, due to the problems.

LM

[Newpants]

Originally Posted by Ed & Bunny

With as difficult as it sometimes can be in this lifestyle to meet people, we are thinking of starting to throw small house parties. This is for fun only
( we will not be charging any money, just asking for food and soda donations). We want to invite enough people that it will be fun, but not so many that we will spend all our time playing host and not playing. Also what is a good number to invite to make up for no shows? We also plan to allow couples who wish to bring another couple they know along with them, that way we could meet people we night never have thought to invite.

Please let us know what experiences you have had at house parties and what you liked and didnt like. This is not a rush thing as Bunny is going in for surgery next month, and it will still take a while to get our big house more presentable for parties, but we should be looking at doing it towards the end of summer.

First off a question - why is it difficult for you to meet people in the lifestyle? Do you live in a sparsley populated area or is there some other reason you are having trouble? Throwing a semi-regular good that gets a good reputation may help you meet people or it may be a bust depending on why you are having trouble now.

now as far as your other concerns/questions -

-If you are host you will have to do some host duties regardless of the number. Being host does not prevent you from playing and in fact when the hosts are the first ones out of their clothes it usually means that others will quickly follow suit and it will be a good party. When the hosts just sit and chit-chat endlessly about vanilla topics it usually ends up just being a vanilla cocktail party. The hosts (actually the HOSTESS in particular ) is the one that sets the stage and the tone of the evening.

- Asking people to bring their own guests is kind of tricky. On one hand with some couples that are on the fence about going because they don't already know you or the other guests it may tip the scales and they will go if they can bring a guest, and it could give you a chance to meet someone you otherwise wouldn't.

HOWEVER, sometimes bringing a guest is like bringing your own sand to the beach and people will end up hanging out and playing with their established friends and NOT you or any of the other guests.

- Our experience has also been that approx 1/4th - 1/3rd of the people you invite will actually show up. It does help if you have met everyone on the guestlist and can vouch for everyone but then you are limited to the number of people you already know and it doesn't give you a chance to meet new people.

- There is no magic number for what is the "best size", it is more a matter of how many your house will hold comfortably and how many people will show up.

- We have always had a "throw it and they will come" outlook on private parties. Invite the people YOU are interested in and have the kinds of activities and such that you are interested in and the rest will fall into place.

If you have fun, your guests will have fun too and word will start to travel that you have fun parties and your guests will want to return and they in turn can offer suggestions on who else to invite for the next party.

[T-Rex]

We have some friends who throw great house parties. They have a couple of interesting "rules", or maybe their "house party-isms". Most importantly, the environment is set up for sex. They get going mid-afternoon with a meet and greet and naked pool time (because they have that kind of house!). The hostess encourages her guests to drink only in light moderation. They have a light buffet dinner around 6-6:30. They don't have dancing, because even though it is lots of fun, it is distracting. They set up a great room with covered foam mattresses, and a good group sex porno on the big screen.....and the sex starts by 8:00 at the latest--house rules. The guests are energetic and ready to go, and as one person said, you can't tell where the sex on the mattresses stops and the sex on the big screen begins. The party starts to break up by 11-11:30.

We have been to so many clubs where nothing happens before midnight, that starting early is really refreshing. If you have to work that day, or if you are just not a late night person, starting after midnight can sap your energy before you begin. We were guests at New Horizons in Seattle a few years ago and they are the only club we have been to that purposefully gets things going early...we liked that a lot.

We think getting to the sex early also helps in not "overthinking" the situation. Everyone is at a house party to play, not to flirt themselves to death...so talk a little, then let's play and then have a drink and some conversation afterwords!

[metroman]

Originally Posted by Ed & Bunny

With as difficult as it sometimes can be in this lifestyle to meet people, we are thinking of starting to throw small house parties. This is for fun only
( we will not be charging any money, just asking for food and soda donations). We want to invite enough people that it will be fun, but not so many that we will spend all our time playing host and not playing. Also what is a good number to invite to make up for no shows? We also plan to allow couples who wish to bring another couple they know along with them, that way we could meet people we night never have thought to invite.

Please let us know what experiences you have had at house parties and what you liked and didnt like. This is not a rush thing as Bunny is going in for surgery next month, and it will still take a while to get our big house more presentable for parties, but we should be looking at doing it towards the end of summer.

I read ALL the posts! We're thinking of having a house party so I took lots of notes and appreciate all the tips!!! We will let you know how it goes !

[MrsPandMe]

This is some great advice! I work early mornings and have a toddler, so even on days off, my day often starts about dawn. Going to parties where the fun doesn't start until after midnight is a real problem, both mentally and physically.. Exhausted Mr. P means Mr. P's Mr. P runs into problems staying, ummm, focused. It also doesn't make things too promising for "round 2", which is often better then "round 1" seeing as how the ice is most certainly broken by then.

Mr. P

Originally Posted by T-Rex

We have some friends who throw great house parties. They have a couple of interesting "rules", or maybe their "house party-isms". Most importantly, the environment is set up for sex. They get going mid-afternoon with a meet and greet and naked pool time (because they have that kind of house!). The hostess encourages her guests to drink only in light moderation. They have a light buffet dinner around 6-6:30. They don't have dancing, because even though it is lots of fun, it is distracting. They set up a great room with covered foam mattresses, and a good group sex porno on the big screen.....and the sex starts by 8:00 at the latest--house rules. The guests are energetic and ready to go, and as one person said, you can't tell where the sex on the mattresses stops and the sex on the big screen begins. The party starts to break up by 11-11:30.

We have been to so many clubs where nothing happens before midnight, that starting early is really refreshing. If you have to work that day, or if you are just not a late night person, starting after midnight can sap your energy before you begin. We were guests at New Horizons in Seattle a few years ago and they are the only club we have been to that purposefully gets things going early...we liked that a lot.

We think getting to the sex early also helps in not "overthinking" the situation. Everyone is at a house party to play, not to flirt themselves to death...so talk a little, then let's play and then have a drink and some conversation afterwords!

[SW_PA_Couple]

I have the definitive answer to your questions. Yesterday evening was our best party ever and we had five couples, counting ourselves. Nobody had to wait very long for his or her turn on the massage table, the food and drink were not too much to manage, the conversation was lively but not noisy, and we had a sufficient number of beds to accommodate those who wanted to stay overnight. Everybody professed having a good time. Oh, and the sex was good too (just kidding, ladies; you're all very special).

[Playful1]

depends on your concept of small.

the ones i go to have 20-30 people, usually around 23 or so. I consider that a good size. Whether that is small or not, i dont know. I know some people have ones with only 3 or 4 couples, but to me, that is not a party, just a small get together bigger than 30 and i think it gets too be too big for a house party.