Choosing partners at clubs or parties...

[exploringRM]

I'm not specifically looking for advice, but I'm curious what other people's experiences are. My wife and I have been swinging for a year and in the past 6 months have been going to more and more parties. A number of these parties are the same core group of people, many of whom we have become friends with as well as have had play times.

When you are with a group of friends (either at a party or club) and you are not there on a "date" with another couple..how do you choose your play partners. Do you have a specific set of partners in mind? Do you talk before the party and make plans with one or more partners. Do you go with the flow?

Me, I typically go with the flow with out any specific plans, but of course there are hopes to be with certain playmates. Perhaps we've not played yet, or it's been awhile, etc.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by exploringRM

. . .When you are with a group of friends (either at a party or club) and you are not there on a "date" with another couple..how do you choose your play partners. . .

If eye contact lasts for more than five seconds, that's the woman I'm going to sidle up to. I've learned I need to give at least some attention to the others, however. Earlier this year I received a complaint, "the last time, I didn't even get an ass grab from you." This woman immediately went to the top of the list.

I know this is going to sound like bragging, but it's becoming difficult. So many women; so little time. But you did ask.

~Michael

[socolais]

We frequent recurring parties too, and the easy answer is, I let them decide. I usually have a difficult time relying on serendipity but this has turned out to be a fun opportunity for me to let the fates bestow their blessings on me. There is a small core of routine attendees that a smile and a nod means, let's find a cozy place to have some fun. Which ever one of them gets to me first is the winner (swinging is one hell of an ego boost). So there's almost no communication between us before the parties although there has been some small chatter about a special arrangement for the upcoming New Year's Eve party.

Going with the flow has been very rewarding for me, I like it. And as the core group expands, it gets even better.

[exploringRM]

Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple

If eye contact lasts for more than five seconds, that's the woman I'm going to sidle up to. I've learned I need to give at least some attention to the others, however. Earlier this year I received a complaint, "the last time, I didn't even get an ass grab from you." This woman immediately went to the top of the list.

I know this is going to sound like bragging, but it's becoming difficult. So many women; so little time. But you did ask.

~Michael

I don't take it as bragging...just the way it is if you are in a group of people you know and all get along. At an upcuming NYE party there are at least 5 women I've had a great time with at parties over the past several months and a few more I would love to have a wonderful time with..hehe. We are spending the night and getting there on time so alot of time if my body holds up!

[LFM2]

We also go to quite a few parties...and it's usually with the same groups of people. There may be one or four more NEW couples at this parties, but we learned early on, like many others here, that we never go expecting anything... therefore, we just go with the flow. If something happens, that's icing on the cake.

We sometimes talk to other couples who email us and ask if we'll be there -- I don't know if they're wanting to hook up, it's never really voiced, but we write back that we will (or won't) and hope to see them there. It's not really meant as an invitation to hook up, but just a note that we'd really like to meet them.

There have been times that Dave and I will discuss parties beforehand and wish that so-n-so will be there or this person or that person -- still, not a expectation that we'd like to get together, but just wishes.

[JustAskJulie]

We are definitely go with the flow people. If we were going to make plans ahead of time we'd just call them up (or email them) and make plans with just them. That's what the socials and parties are for... options.

[sweet_tna]

We tend to go with the flow, too. You never know who will be in what mood, who may be "out of commission", or who's made plans with someone else . . .

More often than not, just showing up and seeing what happens works out to our benefit.

=)

[fun4Ds]

Dead fish "go with the flow".......

We were swimmers, I mean.... swingers

[Tia Vampire]

We are more of a first come, first served kind of couple. If we are sitting with a group of friends, we try not to get stuck in the same place all night long. If we are not asked by or flirted with by the people we are hanging out with within two hours, then we know that there will be no play time between us. So we will move on by excusing ourselves from the group and start to look for other attractive couples that are at the house party or club.

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by exploringRM

When you are with a group of friends (either at a party or club) and you are not there on a "date" with another couple..how do you choose your play partners. Do you have a specific set of partners in mind? Do you talk before the party and make plans with one or more partners. Do you go with the flow?

I'm finding I don't like to make plans ahead of time, I don't like the pressure of it. I like to go with the flow, for us this is what it's all about. We tell anyone we talk to there is no plan to play at parties, that way everyone is open for whatever the night brings. It's fun not knowing how a night is going to play out. I'm okay not having a sure thing, it isn't just about the sex. I don't mind having a fun night of dancing and then just enjoying the heck out of just the two of us in the end.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by exploringRM

I don't take it as bragging...just the way it is if you are in a group of people youl know and all get along. At an upcuming NYE party there are at least 5 women I've had a great time with at parties over the past several months and a few more I would love to have a wonderful time with..hehe. We are spending the night and getting there on time so alot of time if my body holds up!

We also attended a NYE party with a lot of people we already knew. It would have been awkward to try to arrange a couples swap within that environment. Things happen the way they happen. To try to orchestrate anything would have been sort of anti-party, if that makes any sense.

[The Fuse]

To answer the OP's questions a little better, when we go to a party, we try not to have expectations. But of course we each have a wish list, and some wishes are more "urgent" than others. I think most people feel this way even if they don't admit it.

We talk with each other beforehand about our wish lists. In many cases we contact them beforehand-- "Hey, saw you on the guest list for NYE! Can't wait to see you again!" This lets them know we are interested. But we don't explicitly try to arrange a hookup.