protocal for dealing with couples that you have to see several days in a row

[dob]

We have been reading this board for about eight months. The generally well thought out and reasoned discussions have been helpful and comforting as we have evolved toward the swinging lifestyle. Our journey started as we searched for ways to keep life interesting and eventful. It was interesting how those interests led us to events that made swinging seem like a natural progression. We have had fun and satisfying experiences with 5 couples. We have not done a full swap but only because the right circumstances have not yet come together.
We recently had a great time at HedoII and an interesting thing happened. My wife was playing with a guy whom she liked and had a good time with. The next day he seemed to expect continued social interaction. there wasn't anything inappropriate about his conduct it's just that he didn't seem to understand that it was play for one night and nothing more. We have made several great friendships at the clubs that we have visited and enjoy having breakfast with folks the morning after, this instance just seemed like too much.
Is there a swinger protocol for continued interaction after playing when you will be constantly underfoot for the next 5 or 6 days. your thoughts will be appreciated.

[SW_PA_Couple]

WELCOME, dob, to the Swingersboard. Pleased to know that you feel what you read here is helpful. I have always believed this.

Cannot say a "protocol" exists. Common sense should. If, on the day after, a man smiles at you and you return the smile sweetly, you have sent a signal that you might be open for continued interaction. If, however, you return what is simply civil and polite, he should have enough sense to take the hint. If the hint is not picked up, it would not be inappropriate to say something like, "It was nice; I hope you are having a chance to meet people while you are here."

~Michael

[NealnAnji]

Originally Posted by dob

We have been reading this board for about eight months. there wasn't anything inappropriate about his conduct it's just that he didn't seem to understand that it was play for one night and nothing more. Is there a swinger protocol .

Welcome to the Board.

There is no written protocol as far as we know. However, the same rules or protocol apply equally in the purely social intercourse (socializing) as well as in the swinging world that includes play and may include sexual intercourse with someone other than your own mate.

[Hott Times]

Welcome DB to the board
As others had said there is not set or official protocal other than decent manners and common sense, which we all know is not as common as it should be. We had a similar experience at Desire once. We had emailed and then met with a couple there. We all had a good time one night.
The rest of three days there he wouldn't hardly look at my wife and wouldn't talk to her at all. His female partner was still very friendly toward us as we were to both of them. He would talk to me alone fine, a bit distant but I think that was just his personality and lack of common interests. His partner could never explain what was going on to us either.

All together was a wierd time whenever we would see them about on the premise and made a memory of a great night into a not so great memory.

Just remember just because you had some fun with someone doesn't obligate to further play or exclusivity during the rest of the event. (however it doesn't exclude some further play either. LOL) We have found we have made some really good friends at events like this, other times, just had a good time one time with no further contact wanted by anyone.

[DigginIt]

Mrs. Diggs and I are very social. We have been planning to go to Hedo in the near future and this really gets us thinking.

The question is can you be friendly with someone you just had sex with the night before without leading them to further expectations? How can you tell if they are just being friendly or if they are wanting more sex? I could go on and on.

I have been on many a vanilla vacation and we have met others this exact same way. You meet them at the bar the night before, share laughs over a few drinks and then they just want to hang out with you the rest of the entire vacation. I think people are naturally clingy in situations like this. The fact that you had sex with them may not have even mattered. Had this person just received attention from your wife might have produced the same results and the sex just complicates the wanting of separation.

It all comes back to honesty and tact. I actually should sat TACT, lol, so it's emphasized. Let them know, hey, I/we/he/she had a great time and (if you want to see them again possibly) maybe we will have a chance to play again sometime since we are here until xx/xx/xx but we just want some alone time together now. Hopefully they will get the hint.

I hope I don't run into this when we go but after reading this post I'm sure going to have a few well rehearsed lines prepared.

[dob]

Are you going to hedo ll or lll. It's something to think about and be prepared for. We went to II and will go back asap.

[DigginIt]

Originally Posted by dob

Are you going to hedo ll or lll. It's something to think about and be prepared for. We went to II and will go back asap.

We were thinking II because we heard about it from some friends we met at a local club. Would appreciate any advice.