Aggresive-Pushy husbands at parties/clubs

[carrysmith]

We have seen it many/many times at our club and at differnt parties & we have been a victoms of this for lack of a better word..were you will have the husband pushing his wife( sometimes aggressily) onto any single women on the dance floor or in the club, we were dancing 1 time & this guy pushed his wife so hard onto my wife that she actualy lundge forward,then his wife says to my wife, ohh my husband wants us to dance together, my wife said noo sweety, this guys wife wouldnt give up casue he was stairing at her with crazy dominant eyes,, then that same nite, a couple comes up to 2 says hello everything was fine, till we noticed he wouldnt let her speak,he was in control!!,, this guy asked us to dance with them we're like ok sure, when my husban starts dancing with me, her husband tells my husband,ohh i meant we wanted 2 dance with your wife not you dude! can u belive that crap, we have noticed alot more swingers here in miami becoming more aggressive/pushy in general..i can anybody relate to what we are saying or has this happend to anybody here?..

[LagniappeDC]

Yes, we too have seen that from time to time. It's really unfortunate. We typically try to be polite at first, but quickly try to remove ourselves from the situation. It's our way of sending a message to the man/couple that we don't accept that kind of behavior. We also couldn't imagine actually playing with a couple like that. It sounds like your wife is handling everything just right. In our experience these situations are a fairly small percentage of the couples we see out there. As for Miami, we can't comment, but would suggest seeing if there are other venues to explore...

[CXXC]

Our one experience with a pushy husband, was rather similar. Mrs. CXXC was on the dance floor just enjoying herself and dancing with another lady. I was sitting at the bar enjoying the show with friends when this guy and woman get on the dance floor and bee-line it straight to Mrs. CXXC. They stand there talking to her for a few seconds. I watch as my wife gives me the look we have created that says "I need you here now!"

Like any dutiful hubby, I was at her side within seconds. The very moment I stood beside her, the guy took on this attitude like I was intruding on the party "They" were having or planning. I introduced myself but was met with silence from him. His wife smiled but only said Hi without a name to call her.

I put my arms around Mrs. CXXC and began dancing with her but within seconds, the guy taps me on the shoulder. I turn to look at him. He acts like I am an intruder and says, "We wanted to dance with her. Do you mind?" this was not said in a kind or gentle manner. It was stated as if I was bothering them.

Now, as many of you know, I have no filter when it comes to stupidity or someone being rude. I simply blurted out, "Why yes, I do mind! This is, after all, my wife!" He huffed and, grabbing his wife by the hand roughly, walked off the dance floor and out of the bar area.

What they had said to Mrs. CXXC as soon as they reached her on the dance floor alone was that he wanted to see his wife and her in a 69 while he took Mrs. CXXC from behind. Mrs. CXXC asked what I would be doing while they were having fun with her and he told her that I didnt have to be involved. It would be the three of them alone.

I cannot imagine anyone being that rude. It floors me. I have to think, if I were not 6'4", 225 pounds, would he have challenged me for his desires? His attitude was simply that aggressive. It takes a great deal to get Mrs. CXXC to the point of sending the HELP look!

It is unfortunate that there are people out there who are like this. Some people fall victim to them. the newbies can walk away with a bad taste in their mouths toward the LS because of these people.

No matter where we go, Assholes are out there. Thankfully, they are few and far between. In our lifestyle history, we have met only a scattered few assholes but a TON or really fantastic people.

[carrysmith]

Im glad you guys can relate to what has happend to us,i thought this kind of stuff only happened in our club casue we see it everytime we go..i just remebered another incedent like what weve talking about,, we were at the club during the week, this attractive puertorican couple approches us started talking we seened to hit it off well, my husband started talking 2 him eveyrthing was fine,then the ladies husband,like really didnt want anything to do with my husband,he was directing all his conversation to me & in an aggressive manner,interrupting me and completely disregraurding my husband next 2 him, well we started dancing,this guy psuhed his wife on to me ,then he got in the middle of us and when my husband tryed to dance with me,he bumped in2 him on perpuse, then this guy whispers somthing to his wife and she leans over dancing and asked me hey u want to fuck me & my husband in the back,,,IM LIKE OK!.i was shocked at how she asked me this,then i said well my husband would have join us in the fun,her husband leans over and say abit aggrivated, noo baby thats not what we want & he grabed his wife and pulled her of the dancer floor in a rush,like a dog on leash or somthing, then we noticed her husband doing the exact samething to other couples,its like some of these husbands are sooo desperrate for a 3some with a women,that they will disrespect/pissoff half of the world 2 do so, now thinking back to that nite im actually still in shock to a certian extext at the behavior of some agrressive husbands.........god bless u all..

[The Fuse]

We haven't experienced this at clubs, but in general there are an astounding number of couples out there who are asking the other couple to do something they wouldn't themselves do -- get a wife to play and leave her husband out. This happens online, at parties and, as you've noticed, at clubs.

When someone asks me to play alone, sometimes I ask them whether they ever let their female half play alone with another couple, leaving the offending husband out. I usually get a look like I have a third eye. They honestly don't see the problem with asking someone else to do something they wouldn't themselves do.

[slevin]

Never had anything like that happened when we've been to the club.

[slevin]

Originally Posted by The Fuse

When someone asks me to play alone, sometimes I ask them whether they ever let their female half play alone with another couple, leaving the offending husband out. I usually get a look like I have a third eye. They honestly don't see the problem with asking someone else to do something they wouldn't themselves do.

Yeah, it is amazing isn't it? We had a girl contact us about meeting us on her own; she was married but in an open relationship. We were uncomfortable with it because we're not interested in doing anything separately. We knew that it was what they do, they were fine with it, but since we don't it kind of made us uncomfortable. Bit silly, but maybe the opposite of those other couples lol

[BamaRide]

Originally Posted by slevin

Never had anything like that happened when we've been to the club.

See I never had to worry about that... my wife is a former Marine MP... If a agressive guy ever had a lack of knowledge to the word 'no' she had a floor exercise that taught them fairly well the meaning. That is they were on the floor quickly and they got the meaning.

BamaRide

[it'sso]

It's seems that people who are horses asses have no boundaries when it comes to selfishness. You can be pretty sure that if they are that pushy in a social environment, they are pushy in their every day lives.
(and yes Mr. CXXC, if you weren't as impressive physically as you are, the guy would have likely been more insistent.)

[carrysmith]

mr.BAMBAM) can we take u guys 2 our club so your wife can keep the jerks at bay hehehe..we could use an MP with athuority at miamivelvet for sure hehe...(it'sso) we agree with u 100%....people in miami in our {experinces/opinion} are very {pusshy/aggressive/antisocial} in general,now add some financiall stress/sleep depravation/liqour/drugs and u will have an instant A-HOLE! like the ones im speaking of at the club.

[CXXC]

Originally Posted by it'sso

(and yes Mr. CXXC, if you weren't as impressive physically as you are, the guy would have likely been more insistent.)

it'sso
I find it absolutely horrible that one must be seen as a bodyguard in order to keep the assholes at bay (to a point). We have met and played with some of the greatest people in the world.

Mrs. CXXC is a little package (5 foot even, 125 pound blonde with brilliant blue eyes) with the HUGE personality and draws people to her. Once they are captivated by her, my introduction is made and you can see it in the faces of these potential play mates, "Uh-oh! this guy looks mean!" This is anything but the truth. However, it has kept us from experiencing the pushy side of the lifestyle to a certain extent.

We have read and heard first hand stories, from several couples, of pushy and absolutely rude individuals expecting and virtually insisting things go their way! Many of these people do not have the physical size to deter these individuals from pushing further.

It is a sad state when someone thinks that they have the right to make demands when others feel uncomfortable with them.

Thankfully, these situations are few and VERY far between! However, it only takes a handful of these situations to spoil the fun for others. In their selfish acts, these pushy members of the lifestyle community, shed a VERY negative light upon us as whole! The media needs only one story like this to make us all appear like sharks in the waters.

I also believe that it is every persons responsibility to educate these individual in basic common courtesy. Letting these individuals know that this behavior is NOT accepted by the community and by verbally spreading the word of their misdeeds, we may be able to limit the number of situations by eliminating the individuals.

Yes, we all dream of the days when the lifestyle can go main stream and out into the open. However, as long as people like this feel they have a right to make demands and act as such, we will not have that freedom.

Such a lovely dream? Dont ya think?

[SecretAsianMan]

Keep on dreaming - it's only through our dreams that we create a future reality

[carrysmith]

we really dought swinging will ever even come close to being maistream,jus the other day saw a couple that we thought were our freinds there members of our club too, well we saw them at the bank & my husband decied to approch them and say hello,my husband extened his hand to him & they guy said excuse me but we dont know u! we looked at each other and said OMG! are they fake of what!..my husband says to the ladies husband, jim how ru we were at the club lastweek partying with u guys,,the husband said thats not my name sir, we dont know u,leave us alone.. we were like ok, this is bizzar..aside from pushy/aggressive people we have also come across alot of fake poeple 2..the type that will notrecognize u outside the club & in the club they act if u were his frind of 20yrs..im sure if many of u guys were to get involved in the miami swingers lifestyle u all would be extreamly disapointed...

[exploringRM]

Originally Posted by carrysmith

we really dought swinging will ever even come close to being maistream,jus the other day saw a couple that we thought were our freinds there members of our club too, well we saw them at the bank & my husband decied to approch them and say hello,my husband extened his hand to him & they guy said excuse me but we dont know u! we looked at each other and said OMG! are they fake of what!..my husband says to the ladies husband, jim how ru we were at the club lastweek partying with u guys,,the husband said thats not my name sir, we dont know u,leave us alone.. we were like ok, this is bizzar..aside from pushy/aggressive people we have also come across alot of fake poeple 2..the type that will notrecognize u outside the club & in the club they act if u were his frind of 20yrs..im sure if many of u guys were to get involved in the miami swingers lifestyle u all would be extreamly disapointed...

Perhaps, some people do not like to be recognized outside of the club? I would not mind if we were approached, but it depends in what setting I guess.

[PB&J]

Some people feel a need to keep their swinging life tightly compartmentalized from their vanilla life. They might have professional or family reasons for that, or they might just be needlessly uptight. (I DO know someone who falls into that category) However, if that's their preference, I would certainly respect it.