First Party - inviting new couples

[exploringRM]

We're having our first party this weekend. We've invited a number of couples we know (some we've played with others we've not). I was also thinking of inviting 1 or 2 couples that we are interested in, but have not met yet; or we've met briefly but have never really had a chance to sit down and talk; or we've made online contact but have not had time to meet face to face.

I'm on the fence deciding how to proceed. These are couples we feel we would like to play with, but there are also other couples coming that we know, and are thinking they want to play with us (as well as us with them) I guess my dilemma is inviting a couple to get to know us (and our guests as well), but know we probably won't have an opportunity to do more than talk. Of course there are no expectations for anyone to play (with anyone), but feel that we might be setting up expectations for playtime that we probably won't be able to do (only so many people one can do in a night). I also feel that since we are hosting we need to not disappear for the entire evening either.

Your thoughts are welcome!

[Dave_kat]

That would probably depend on the purpose of your party - Bring a group of friends together who already know each other for some group play, or to give everyone a chance to get to know some new couples.

If you're thinking of limiting by "how many you can do," then you would probably want to keep the number small. The more couples you have, you'll probably even have less time yourselves to play, as you'll be wanding around making sure everyone else is having a good time etc.

Remember, this is your house as well, and what happens there is your responsibility in a legal sense. There will be some time to play, but probably nowhere's near as much as you might think.

Our reccomendation is to invite the new couples, and give them an oppourtunity to meet yourselves and some of your friends, especially if the rest of the couples don't know each other so well or have previous history. You never know, you might set up a firm playdate for another night.

[Additude]

Do your part and extend the offer.

Allow them to do their part, decide and conclude.

[JM153]

I vote with inviting the new couples. In the past, we have been invited to a house party where we did not know anyone, except the hosts and that only was by email. It turned out great. We did not play with the hosts that night, but we played with some other guests and had a great time. You do not have to as opposed to wanting to play with everyone at every party. We have also been to parties where the hosts did not play until later in the night after everyone was comfortable. I say, have fun and invite the new folks.

[twoforone100]

Well we always try to invite new couples.. But we like the variety... a mix of old and new is best...

[JustAskJulie]

I think it depends on how well all the other couples know each other. If this is a pretty tight group in general, then you might not want to invite newbies just yet. Also since this is your first party, you are already going to be a little stressed about things going well, and trying to make sure everyone is happy.

However, if the other friends you've invited don't already know each other well, what's one or two more. Just makes sure when you extend your invite that you let them know that there is no expectation to play, just that you thought this would be an opportunity for you to meet them, as well as for them to meet some other great couples.

[ENCRYPTEDTX]

Originally Posted by exploringRM

We're having our first party this weekend. We've invited a number of couples we know (some we've played with others we've not). I was also thinking of inviting 1 or 2 couples that we are interested in, but have not met yet; or we've met briefly but have never really had a chance to sit down and talk; or we've made online contact but have not had time to meet face to face.

It seems everytime I have been part of party planning, your complete list of invitees will not make it. If you feel comfortable entertaining 10 guests (5 couples) invite 6 or 7 couples....

I have often found that as a host I had more time to talk and less time to play. It may be your prime opportunity to invite couples you have never met in person.

Its easy to do, but dont get hung up on matchmaking and choreographing who will like who.

One more vote for "Invite them"

Kyle

[exploringRM]

We did have one more couple than planned it was good as 3 couples did not make it, 1 of which we knew were iffy anyway due to sitter issues. So next time I'm going to invite additional people. We had room for them (and plenty of food!).

[ENCRYPTEDTX]

ExploringRM

How did everything turn out?

Did you find out how hard it can be to host/hostess and play too?

Did you invite the couples in question?

How did the suggestions from the board members match up with events of party?

Congrats on a successful party.

Kyle

[exploringRM]

Originally Posted by ENCRYPTEDTX

ExploringRM

How did everything turn out?

Did you find out how hard it can be to host/hostess and play too?

Did you invite the couples in question?

How did the suggestions from the board members match up with events of party?

Congrats on a successful party.

Kyle

Below is a link to a blog post here that recaps the weekend, but I'll answer your questions in brief here.

Everything turned out fine. Due to not having tons of people it was not a difficult job to host and play, we had 4 couples total. If there were more people with various rounds of play happening I'm sure it would have been more difficult. Didn't invite the extra couples, but should have. Primarily what matched up was the there were a number of no shows.

We've been to three different house parties of varying levels so had some inkling of the dynamics. The first very few people knew each other so it took along time to get things going (then we had to leave due to wife getting up early for work). The second was a group where most knew each other and we knew people as well and that seemed like an easy group. The third was similar to the second though it was much more hard core with playing happening very early and constantly through the evening!

Here's a link to my blog here on the party:

http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...nd-firsts.html