Tips for Hosting an Enjoyable House Party, Part Two

[SW_PA_Couple]

Having given my observations on hosting house parties at my Swingersboard blog, I hope it will prove worthwhile to elaborate in these open forums on a few points. Also hoping I will gain from other peoples’ experiences. Furthermore, my wife and I have changed our views on some of the wisdom we have dispensed in the past.

- The invitation list We have never considered having an “open house”. We know a couple who host open-house parties in that they put “We are having a party on such-and-such date” in the tag line of their on-line profile. This means that people need, at least, to send an e-mail to them to ask about the street address of the party house. Seems to have worked OK for them. The parties are lively and pretty much free of trouble. But they do have an exceptionally large house. If a lot of unexpected people show, they have the ability to accommodate. Our parties are by invitation and we invite people we already know. These do not necessarily have to be people with whom we have played. We have not so many acquaintances that we have to be concerned about trimming the list to avoid overcrowding. At first, we had our worry that maybe nobody would show and we would be sitting across from each other at a lonely table. This concern was entirely unfounded. Typically, about half to two thirds of the people we invite accept the invitation. We have learned some lessons about making our lists. Single men and single women are among our acquaintances and some of these we can call true friends. But we have lost the attention of some very interesting couples owing to the fact that they are not comfortable being in the intimate company of singles. We trust our single friends to understanding that our house parties are now and will continue to be couples-only events.

- Same room, separate room, private room, group-sex room, exhibitionism and voyeurism Swinging couples have different styles and we try to accommodate. We learned from the set-ups of on-premise clubs. The little innovation of our most recent house party was a room for the couples who like to stay close to their significant others for same-room sex, either the watch-and-be-watched kind or partner exchange. As our master bedroom is sufficiently large, we added a heavy-duty motorized inflatable bed that is the same height as our queen-size. The other two bedrooms also have queen-size beds – close the door if you want privacy. Those new-style battery-operated wax candles are perfect for mood lighting. Every girl looks flattering in this light. The front office and the living room both have convertible sofas. The front room and back-yard patio, newly-enclosed with a six-foot wooden fence, are for people who like to accept critique of their physique and technique (exhibitionists) as well as the those who like to watch.

- Massage table A really great ice breaker; a really worthwhile investment.

- Washrooms Full-size bath towels (we know a person who showers before and after every encounter), small hand trowels, small wash cloths, condoms, Cottonelle flushable wet wipes.

- Food We believe it is the obligation of the host and hostess to provide food. Guests will not have interest in a sit-down dinner. Their minds would only be working on how to make a dessert of the hostess’ décolletage than mashed potatoes and gravy. So we put orders in at the events department of the local supermarket and at Edible Arrangements. We get a little something for everyone; a sandwich ring, potato salad, fresh fruit arrangement (no chocolate), cut-vegetable tray, dessert tray (with chocolate), cheese tray with crackers, peel-and-eat shrimp, dry-roast peanuts, chips and dip, soft drinks, lemonade. The dining room becomes a meeting place countering the tendency for men to congregate in the TV room to discuss trucks or professional sports and the women to congregate in the kitchen (not even dishes to wash as we use paper plates and plastic cups).

What do you guys have to add?

~Michael

[JustMrJ]

Michael,

The two groups we attend house parties with are of the "Pot Luck" variety. Both food and sexual partners are provided by the guests. A lot of variety of flavors and tastes and it works pretty well. The hosts do provide water, clean towels in the bathrooms, condoms and trash cans in every room for disposal of said condoms.

New attendees will be given a tour of the 'facilities' so they know where the play rooms, bathrooms, food and places for their belongings are.

We find this works very well and we enjoy these parties immensely.

Cheers!

[Willing29]

SW_PA_Couple, It seems like your pretty much covered everything we have seen at the house parties which we have attened. Actually it sounds more than some clubs. You're off to a great start!

[LFM2]

Sounds like you made your party a success!! Excellent work!

[MrkLin]

Much like your parties, Michael, ours are by invitation only. We think of these parties as a chance for our friends to get together with each other, as well as a chance for us to get together with them. Our experience has been much like yours, in that about half to two-thirds of those invited actually attend. A big difference, however, is that we also have 1 single female and 2 single males who regularly attend our parties, yet we've never had anyone decline an invitation because of them. In fact, one of the males is rather popular with the ladies, and has become so popular, he's getting invited to other parties as well. (In fact, he and the single lady who regularly attends are quickly becoming an item, and they may even become a couple soon - score 1 for Lifestyle Cupid.) We do invite new couples on occasion, and we encourage our friends to bring along a couple with them as their guests if they'd like (subject to our approval, of course.) All we ask is that they let us know who the couple is before they invite said couple. We'll discuss from there.

We have only 2 bedrooms available for play areas, but the simple rule; "If you want privacy, close the door" seems to work just fine. The flip-side of that rule is, "If you find a door closed, leave it closed and move on." We've never had a problem at all.

We agree with you completely about keeping the bathrooms well-stocked with towels, washcloths, and other such sundries. We go so far as to put out a basket of little individual soaps for those who may wish to use them (a good use for all of those little bars of soap you seem to 'inherit' from hotel visits.) We also put baskets of rolled towels in strategic locations in the living room, and invite our guests who have 'lost all of their clothes' to make use of them. I've never had to actually come right out and ask someone naked to sit on a towel, but by offering that option, we've eliminated the need to say something. We've gone one step further, and provide bathrobes in the bathrooms and bedrooms for those who wish to use them. You can pick up inexpensive bathrobes at any discount store for less than $10 apiece - less when they're on sale for some reason. Whenever our local wally world closes out bathrobes for the season, we grab a couple.

I really don't know what it is about baskets, but people seem to love anything that's presented in one, or use it if it's meant for something to be disposed of in it. If you hand someone a condom, they'll chuckle and say, "Thanks," then set it aside. If you put a few different varieties in a small basket and leave them on a night stand, they'll use them. We put small bottles of lube, condoms, some KY warming lotion, and a wash cloth in small baskets and place them on each night stand in each bedroom, and a couple in strategic locations all over the house. Wicker waste baskets and clothes hampers complete the implication.

We provide the majority of the snacks as well as all of the soft drinks, bottled water, ice, and mixers (our parties are BYOB, but if someone likes cranberry juice or ginger ale, we'll provide that.) We do ask that our guests bring a simple snack with them for everyone to enjoy. The reasons for that are two fold - first, it takes the pressure to prepare everything off of Lin, and it introduces a wider variety in the snacks. We make it clear to our guests that it doesn't have to be anything fancy - just whatever they like to snack on. We've had some very original snacks pass through this way - everything from simple chips and salsa to cantaloupe wrapped in prosciutto. (I should start a thread about party snack recipes - some of the items were very simple, but quite original and very tasty.)

We have a couple of dozen parties under our belts (no pun intended) and we've found that sometimes it's pretty easy to over-prepare. The main thing I would suggest to anyone wishing to host an invitation-only house party is that you know your friends, and you have some idea as to what they like and dislike when it comes to foods, music, mood lighting, or even scented candles or potpourri. We try to make our house (which isn't large by any stretch of the imagination) a clean, comfortable, pressure-free environment where everyone can kick their shoes off, relax, and let the evening flow as they choose to let it flow. Our guests know that we're always open to suggestion, and if they have any ideas, comments, complaints, or concerns, we want to hear them. We can't fix something if we don't know it's broken, and we want everyone to feel welcome and relaxed.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by MrkLin

. . . We go so far as to put out a basket of little individual soaps for those who may wish to use them (a good use for all of those little bars of soap you seem to 'inherit' from hotel visits.) . . . . . and provide bathrobes in the bathrooms and bedrooms for those who wish to use them.

Both ideas are brilliant.

Originally Posted by MrkLin

. . . I should start a thread about party snack recipes - some of the items were very simple, but quite original and very tasty.

This would be a great thread.

Originally Posted by MrkLin

. . . A big difference, however, is that we also have 1 single female and 2 single males who regularly attend our parties, yet we've never had anyone decline an invitation because of them.

Our decision to invite only couples was a painful one as we do maintain relationships with singles. But we did also have an unhappy experience when two different singles decided to rum amok at a house party. Months later we were still hearing new stories about what all had happened. Our party-giving reputation needed repair.

Appreciate the comments and ideas.

~M

[exploringRM]

House party snacks are always a dilemma for me. I love to bring spicy and/or garlicy food at vanilla parties, but tone things down for house parties that I attend and bring food to. Need to find some new recipes for the house party scene.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by MrkLin

(I should start a thread about party snack recipes - some of the items were very simple, but quite original and very tasty.)

Check out this thread: http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...-swingers.html.

[sw1ngW1thMe]

SW_PA_Couple, MrkLin,

Seems like ye have a nicely organized setup. I for one think that once you get the impression that the hosts are on top of their game, the whole experience is better for it.
Everyone relaxes more and it's generally a more pleasureable expereince.

How long did it take ye to get to this stage with your party organisation? In the beginning we found that we were not enjoying the night as much as we were too worried about our guests, but once we built up a nice circle of quality friends, then we started to relax and it has been super from their on in.

We have about 10 regular couples that we meet up with at this stage and we all share a bundle account on partyeventmanager.com to organise the parties. It's not a perfect service but it covers the basics of the invitation email, comments board and shared files so it's as hassle free as we can make it I think.

As a group we also share the snacks etc, with different couples bringing their favourites so overall we seem to have a nice setup, much like yer own.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by sw1ngW1thMe

. . . How long did it take ye to get to this stage with your party organisation? In the beginning we found that we were not enjoying the night as much as we were too worried about our guests, but once we built up a nice circle of quality friends, then we started to relax and it has been super from their on in. . .

First, I thank you for the kind words. Second, as I see you have registered just a few days ago, allow me to WELCOME you to The Swingersboard.

JoAnn and I were feeling completely wretched in the hours before our first house party. We were asking ourselves, "What if nobody comes?; "What if everybody comes?; "What if people simply sit around gawking at each other and nobody flirts or gets down to doing anything really fun?" I'm sure we were not displaying confidence. And we were fussing over everybody in an attempt to be sure that everybody was entertained. No necessary, as I'm sure you've learned. The party was sufficiently successful. Many of the same people came to the next.

We did not know on that first occasion that we were able to fly on our own. Like Dumbo the Flying Elephant, we thought we needed that magic feather -- a hot tub, a three-meter diameter revolving bed having satin sheets and mirrors on the ceiling, or a hired exotic dancer. In actual fact, we found our magic feather: A massage table. It arrived just in time for our second house party. It continues to be a wonderfully effective ice breaker. If people do not seem to be taking the hint, JoAnn disrobes, lays on the table, I rub her with cocoa butter, the guys and gals are invited to help and then I announce, "Who's next?"

So how long did it take? We had our first house party about two years after starting into the lifestyle. Our second was four months after. We are now hosting about three times a year and receive invitations to other parties about once per month.

~Michael