Socials - what does it take for you to feel you got your money's worth?

[JustAskJulie]

Twice now we've driven to a social and ended up not going in. Both of these were after sitting in the car for a half hour and watching others go in and deciding that it would not be worth our money.

For us, in both cases it had everything to do with lack of turnout. The first time we watched about 12 couples go into the party and NONE of them were couples we remotely considered attractive. This second time we watched 8 couples go into the party.... 1 we know we are attracted to... and 1 that we thought was a maybe (since we were only seeing them from a distance)... and the other 6 were definite NOs (in this case, about 50% were couples we have met before).

So I guess for us what it takes for a social to be worth the money is the likelihood that we will...
1. Meet / Mingle with quite a few couples (including ones we haven't met yet). As of tonight we decided that the party should have at least 25 couples show up (which means they need to have at least in the high 40's signed up on Swing Lifestyle).
2. The ability for us to get up and dance. We enjoy dancing and it's not something we even have vanilla options for anymore. So we want a party/group that is conducive for dancing. Quite honestly, if the crowd is too small no one will dance unless it's to slow songs.

In addition to the question of what does it take for you to feel you got your money's worth, do you have any experiences to share where you feel you did not get your money's worth out of a social or swinger club.

[good times]

We have been to a few house parties that weren't worth the money it cost to drive to them. We have had the same experience at the clubs a few times, but it sometimes doesn't have anything to do with the turnout.

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

So I guess for us what it takes for a social to be worth the money is the likelihood that we will...
1. Meet / Mingle with quite a few couples (including ones we haven't met yet). As of tonight we decided that the party should have at least 25 couples show up (which means they need to have at least in the high 40's signed up on Swing Lifestyle).

This made me think about the times we have been to clubs when the turnout was poor, and surprisingly, we have had a better time on slow nights than on real busy nights on average.

So I would say our only requirement is that at least one couple is attending that we find attractive. We have found that when their is a lot of choices we tends to spend the whole bight meeting and end up not playing. Whereas, on a slow night that the choices are minimal we almost always end up playing.

[unusualsuspects]

Our litmus test is if we get back and are so turned on we need to play with each other despite how tired we might be.

That usually means having a good time because we've met some new people, had a lot of good conversations with new or old people, had a good time on the dance floor, and otherwise got some kind of reinforcement that this is a better event than just going to a nice restaurant and a vanilla dance club.

We've noticed, though, that this is a kind of a high bar.

[two4youinswva]

I've been thinking on this since you first posted the question. I guess our thoughts fall in line with what GT said. We just need at least one or two couples that we're interested in/compatible with. We don't have to, or expect to play every time, but we do hope there is the potential for it.

Our usual club occasionally does a two-night weekend. Saturday night is the party night, where there is a charge for entry. Friday night is just a club get-together for those that can make it in the night before. There is no charge, no music or bar service. It's just usually a few (less than 10) couples that hang out for an evening. Those have turned out to be some of the best evenings we've ever had in the lifestyle.

Now, we've also had some great evenings when there's been a big turnout as well, so we enjoy those also! So, yeah, as long as there's one or two couples we can make some kind of positive connection with, we're good to go.

[JustAskJulie]

GT, I see clubs and socials as two separate beings. At an actual club (on-premise) we don't need a certain number of couples. We've been on packed nights and slow nights and tend to have the most fun on the slow to medium nights. We talk to people and just have a good time ourselves (even if we don't meet anyone else to play with).

For a social, however, people won't get out and dance if there are only a few couples (and at most of our socials the music sucks in comparison to our favorite on-premise) so we "need" others out there to feel comfortable dancing ourselves.

Then the cost difference... we pay $15 more to go to the on-premise club and for that price we get to go and play upstairs (if we feel like it) with each other, or with others.

At the socials we are paying $40 to go into a hotel "banquet room" and meet other couples (that if we even want to play with, we have to go get a room to do so). So our standard for what it takes to be "worth the money" is a bit higher on a social.

[NewFrontier]

Generally we go to house parties (free or donate), but occasionally will splurge on an event. Since the hosts can't guarantee that we will meet and swap what we pay for is the atmosphere. The nice thing about the lifestyle sites is that you can see ahead of time who's attending, and make a mental list of who you would like to talk to. There's usually dancing, food, a DJ some visuals perhaps a pole. We usually feel like we've gotten our money's worth when we meet people we set out to and a lot more that we didn't even know we're coming.

[good times]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

GT, I see clubs and socials as two separate beings.

We would probably feel the same. Socials are rare to non-existent around here though, so we have yet to attend one.

They have a few social/off-premise type parties a couple of hours drive west of us and we are hoping to attend one later this year. Maybe then we will be able to make an informed comparison.