covering expenses of providing private play parties

[arvcpl]

A little background info, we have put on a few private parties over the years that have been a lot of fun and were successfull. We always invited specific peopel that we either knew or wanted to meet. With those parties we provided a safe and comfortable location and activities for people's enjoyment and never asked for any money although some people offered a small donation to help cover costs.

We are now considering hosting small parties (5-10 couples) on a regular (monthly or bi-monthly) basis. As hosting house partys in our home is not an option we have found a nearby cottage-type hotel suite that would be perfect for hosting the kind of parties we have in mind. These cottages come with a price tag however and since this going to be a regular thing doing it out of pocket is just not an option either.

So my question is how do you address the money issue for a private party without getting into any legal ramifications? In the state we are in it is illegal to charge an admission in an establishment where people come to have sex. This rule applys to lifestyle clubs and there has never been a successfull on-premise club in this state due to the wording of those laws. Even the word "donation" or "gift" is not a loophole or exemption in these laws

Since we are not a club and this is not a commercial money making venture is there a way can we ask for donations to help offset our costs without it appearing as an "admission" charge and ending up on the 6 o'clock news?

Any ideas and suggestions will be much appreciated.

[LFM2]

*just waiting patiently until someone else can post to this... I'm curious as well.*

[BiloxiCouple]

Instead of asking us, you really need to ask a lawyer. That is what they are here for.

The moment you "receive" money you are on a legal hook.

[JustAskJulie]

I'm sure you've read enough of the "swingers in the news" threads by now to figure this out... there really is no loophole. About the best you can do is put out a can at the door and put the word donations on it and hope that people put money in it (and don't steal money out of it).

As soon as you start requiring payment to attend you become a business and are subject to all of the laws related.

As Biloxi said, if there is a loophole the only person who's going to find it for you is a lawyer.

[MrkLin]

Just a thought here - hold a meet & greet for your prospective party-goers in a club or some other vanilla location, and present the idea to them en masse. Present it in such a way that they all understand that you're "all going in together on the cost of the facilities."

We've done that a couple of times with couples with regards to getting a room. It's kind of a, "Wanna go in halves on a room?" type of thing. I've toyed with the idea of getting a bunch of our friends together, and we all go in on the price of a luxury suite at one of the big casino resorts here locally.

I think if you presented your proposal to everyone well in advance of setting the date of the actual party, a couple of things will happen:

1.) You'll weed out the people who don't want to share expenses.

2.) Everyone will know how much the party will cost. (Providing you do your homework and have a price for the facilities you plan on using.)

3.) Give you an insight as to who is willing to commit to something like this before it's a done deal.

That last one is the main reason why we haven't gone to one of the resorts yet - everyone I've talked to about it thinks it's a great idea, but so far nobody's ready to move beyond just talking about it.

Something else you need to think about, however, is the hotel's attitude toward tenants having guests. There is a hotel here locally that specializes in 'fantasy theme rooms,' (the cave room, the roman bordello room - things like that) and advertises itself as such. Their policy is that tenants can invite NO guests to their rooms, and if you're caught, you're kicked out immediately. They don't want to get the reputation of being a 'swinger's hangout,' and strictly enforce this policy. As you're checking into the price of this resort you're talking about, you might casually mention that some friends of yours might drop by for a visit (but won't be staying overnight,) and ask about their policy - if they even have one. Some resorts just don't care, while others might want to try to charge a higher price. I wouldn't even allude to having a party - I'd just try to get their reaction to a tenant having guests.

[ncmd_couple]

I just went to Swing Lifestyle and looked at the club listing for CO. There are a number of on-premise clubs as well as off-premise clubs. One option for you is to contact clubs that you would not be in competition to, and ask them directly. They may be able to point you in the direction of a lawyer who can guide you.

S

[ownerspet]

Ok, I have an idea, but I think it may or may not be legal. I know if you require donations it is legally a fee, and then it's considered a business (which requires permits) or a private club (which has more extensive legal requirements that aren't filled by simply knowing each other).

However, what if several people came together ahead of time and pitched in on renting the cottage that you speak of? and bring their own food/beverages? Would this situation be the same thing as several freinds pitching in to rent a cabin and hang out together?

I'm asking these questions, and I'm not providing advice. However, that might be an angle you want to check with your attorney about. Even if this makes it legal (which I don't know if it does), I'm sure you would have to have the funds from everyone before you rent the cottage.

Thats my 2 cents ......

Disclaimer: This post should not be taken in parts, and only should be read or interpreted as a whole. It should also not be mis-interpreted as legal advice, as that is what attorneys are for. The poster has no legal expertise, and you should seek the advice of an attorney, and thus the poster takes no responsibility for legal consequences.

[magiriano]

Don't know how this got here, read the next post please

[magiriano]

I am not a lawyer but I did graduated Law .
Your state's laws might be different however.
Nothing in the law should prevent a group of friends from associating for whatever purpose, being a wedding party, a family reunion, a company outing. And you're not charging for the sex if you're a group of friends or friends and their guests that shares the expenses of an out of town trip together and it so happens that in the privacy of their room the group members happen to have consensual sex with someone other than their spouse......
You can explain to your past guests that the group got too big now or the neighbours too nosy and see if they'd split the expenses plus a small commision for extra expenses/extra guests/damages/ your time, etc.
If you decide to charge an admission fee at the door let's say than it does become a business with all the obligations and implications of it.
You can open a business and licence it as an event planner and advertise your events as lifestyle friendly.
Just my 0.02
Disclaimer: This post should not be taken in parts, and only should be read or interpreted as a whole. It should also not be mis-interpreted as legal advice, as that is what attorneys are for. The poster has no legal expertise, and you should seek the advice of an attorney, and thus the poster takes no responsibility for legal consequences.
Thanx O.P.

[MrkLin]

Originally Posted by ownerspet

However, what if several people came together ahead of time and pitched in on renting the cottage that you speak of? and bring their own food/beverages? Would this situation be the same thing as several freinds pitching in to rent a cabin and hang out together?

That's exactly what I was talking about in my post. I don't see how getting a bunch of friends together and everyone chipping in for something could be considered charging a fee.

[fun4Ds]

I know that I wouldn't do anything, with out an attorneys advice, on the legalities with hosting any swinger related party. I'm a law abiding citizen and would suggest the same.

However I sure like to party. Your going to have to play by "the mans" rules, rage against the machine, buck the system..... and do it legally.

I would think your going to have to form a group that gets together for socializing. What the social group gathers for, might be included in the name.

Then offer free admission. However, being in the free social group means that there are rules and regulations as to proper behavior and etiquettes. Agreed to, and signed by, the attendees. Should said rules be broken the attending party member would have a fine imposed. Each infraction would carry a fine of say 20- 50 bucks. Rule one might be cussing, Dammit. Another may be no wearing of watches 50 bucks. Be creative.... You may have to have a security council to watch for such rule breakers. And the collection of the fines imposed, as a non profit organization. Then as president or spoksman you may be entitled to a payroll.

Kind of like how traffic infractions work. You pay a fine to support the system.

Ask a good attorney about any loop holes he may know of and keep him on retainer, its worth it.

Let us know what you find out, for posterity....

Disclaimer: This post should not be taken in parts, and only should be read or interpreted as a whole. It should also not be mis-interpreted as legal advice, as that is what attorneys are for. The poster has no legal expertise, and you should seek the advice of an attorney, and thus the poster takes no responsibility for legal consequences.

[ncmd_couple]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Then offer free admission. However, being in the free social group means that there are rules and regulations as to proper behavior and etiquettes. Agreed to, and signed by, the attendees. Should said rules be broken the attending party member would have a fine imposed. Each infraction would carry a fine of say 20- 50 bucks. Rule one might be cussing, Dammit. Another may be no wearing of watches 50 bucks. Be creative.... You may have to have a security council to watch for such rule breakers. And the collection of the fines imposed, as a non profit organization. Then as president or spoksman you may be entitled to a payroll.

Fun,

I love the way you think!!!! The fines for that's night's infractions would be applied to next week's event. At around 9:30pm the Master-at-Arms for the evening would pound the gavel and say, "All Ye' who have violated the club rules this evening, step forward for sentencing!" Make a game of it. Everyone "knows" what the expected take from each couple would be, and could chose their "violation" for the night. Be creative.

Women are not allowed to wear panties.
Men's watches.
Ugly shirts.
Miss matched socks.
Brought only one condum.

Oh, the possibilities are endless !!

S

[fun4Ds]

Yea, Sometimes I'm a little stinker.... I mean thinker, ain't I....


I just like to party



With the swingers

[good times]

I agree with what the others have said regarding seeking legal advice locally.

That said, my current understanding is that in most places, if you meet regularly and require donations it is considered a business.

On the other hand, if it is a private social club were folks have to meet certain criteria to be members, then you can charge them a fee to cover out of pocket expenses. Keep in mind though that their is a lot of fine print that separates what is a private social club from what is a business. So you really will need a good lawyer.

[arvcpl]

Thank you for your thoughts and ideas. I definately do understand the importance of getting the full scoop from an attourney that understand the local laws.

This thread has been an eye opener and I have asked some other people in the know privately and it has been a learning experience.

This is something everyone in the lifestyle should take heed of. Any time the words club, group, members, memberships, lists etc are used there are laws that govern such meetings.

And any time money and sex are used in the same paragraph things can get real ugly real fast. Many laws are such that if money is reguired to get in the door or to get into the party it can be considered a house of prostitution or part of the "Illegal Sex Trade" even if you are not directly paying or charging the person you are having sex with.

Even though you may not be charged with actual prostitution per se you can be charged with wide variety of local zoning and tax offenses. And since the words "sex" and "swinging" are involved it will end up on the 6 o'clock and on all the tabloid shows.