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Swinging at Home/Clubs/Parties/Resorts Questions and comments regarding swinging & entertaining at home, clubs, parties and resorts.

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Old 12-30-2006, 07:27 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Ladies, I need advice for NYE party

Tomorrow we are going to a NYE party and I need advice from the ladies. First a little background, we are a typical professional couple, both pleasant, a little reserved at first but not painfully shy or reclusive or anything like that. I have been told by good authority and confirmed by Mrs iapr that I am not a good flirt at all. I believe I can be a reasonable flirt and good conversationalist if I believe that a woman is interested in receiving my attentions and flirtations to begin with. I am just afraid that if someone isn't interested to begin with then I am wasting my time and energy at best and being an ass at worst.

My problem is that I am a typical male and I just don't see a lot of the subtle signs that women give off when they are interested. I pretty much need a woman to grab the goods and say, "I want some of this." before I start to sustpect that someone is interested.

So my question for the ladies is what are some subtle or even unconscious signs that women give that shows they may be interested in receiving a mans attentions and flirtations? Are there any signs or clues that I should be watching for so I am not just standing there like a moron while women are trying to tell me something while trying to not tell me anything?

Any and all hints and advice will be greatly appreciated.
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Old 12-30-2006, 07:53 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies, I need advice for NYE party

I'm not sure I know all the subtle hints I may give. I do know that I do not need a big personal space when I am interested...so, I guess, you'd find me standing closer as we got to know each other. One I know I intentionally give is to make sure I look into his eyes when he is speaking to me. I want him to know I am interested in him and even interested in what he has to say. Well, I'll have to be honest...if I am not interested in what he has to say, then it is unlikely I'll be interested in anything else. I hope I helped you a little.

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Old 12-30-2006, 08:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies, I need advice for NYE party

Well, I won't be much help because I'm kind of the female version of you - you need to hit me upside the head with a two by four sometimes before I get it that you might be interested.

The spouse and I have found that if I'm talking to a man and making eye contact, I'm likely interested in at least getting to know him a bit more to see if there's any chemistry there. If I'm not really talking to him, and excuse myself to get myself a drink, then it's a good sign I'm not interested.

The spousal unit says that when a woman touches him, and comes into that personal space, it's a good indication to him that the woman may be interested in him. Of course, the women just grabbing his parts is always a dead giveaway.

Have fun at your event!

Rebecca
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Old 12-30-2006, 08:10 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies, I need advice for NYE party

Eye contact, standing closer to you than say a handshake distance , asking you to dance , smiling alot , leaning in, winking, then there is the obvious, grabbing, flashing, and the list goes on. You could just ask too....

The Mrs.
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Old 12-30-2006, 09:16 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies, I need advice for NYE party

Hi.

(John here)

*disguises his voice to sound like a lady*

If she laughs at your jokes (especially if they are really bad) that might be a signal that she digs you.

/disguise

Or it could mean that she pities you.

Happy New Year!

John
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Old 12-30-2006, 10:29 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies, I need advice for NYE party

iapr ~

I know you asked for the ladies suggestions, but I'd bet there are some guys who could give you a few tips too. MEN, please post if you'd like. It would help me know a little more about what men want women to do.

Something I always love, but it's only happened once, is to catch a man watching me from a distance, 8 to 12 feet away, while I'm at a club. I can tell the moment I spot him watching me that he's been watching me for a while. He has a look on his face like he is totally into me. He is wearing a friendly relaxed smile that is inviting. I smile back and he nods and his smile becomes wider. This is such a turn on.

The man that gave me this thrill will be at a NYE party we're going to and I hope to get to know him better. He sure got my attention!

LM
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Old 12-30-2006, 11:13 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies, I need advice for NYE party

I wish I could help you out. A recurring theme in my life is being out with Natasha somewhere in public and having some variation of the following conversation:

Natasha: I can't BELIEVE she was flirting with you while I was standing right there!

Me: Huh? Who?

etc

I need flirting glasses I guess. It was so much simpler in the good old caveman days. *CLUB* thunk drag drag drag

B
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Old 12-31-2006, 11:05 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies, I need advice for NYE party

Quote:
I pretty much need a woman to grab the goods and say, "I want some of this." before I start to sustpect that someone is interested.
Well, just chiming in to let you know, you're not alone. I'll be following this with interest.

Mr. Truelove
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Old 12-31-2006, 11:25 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies, I need advice for NYE party

I'd say that if I'm interested I'll touch him while chatting. Maybe putting my hand on his arm as I'm telling a story, or touch his shoulder as I walk up beside him. It definitely is a 'touching' thing, though. If I'm not interested I will not touch the person I am talking to. I think it's partially subconscious for me. It's just 'habit'. I think I also stand a lot closer to someone I am interested in than someone I am not interested in. Probably invading their 'space'.

Hope that helps - and good luck! Have a great party tonight!

Sarah
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Old 12-31-2006, 01:54 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies, I need advice for NYE party

I asked hubby's advice on what hints I give. He wanted to know how I could forget to say I am a "toucher". And he is correct.

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Old 12-31-2006, 02:36 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies, I need advice for NYE party

Quote:
Originally Posted by iapr
I believe I can be a reasonable flirt and good conversationalist if I believe that a woman is interested in receiving my attentions and flirtations to begin with.
My advice is to make up your mind to be a reasonable flirt and a good conversationalist, circulating the room and being accessible, without waiting for a woman to indicate her interest, first. Be interesting, be a conversationalist, be a man having FUN, and the women will then gravitate to you.

The men in the room who catch my eye and gain my interest are the ones who are mingling and having a good time. They are far easier to approach and more interesting to talk to and flirt with. They are exhibiting friendliness and openness. The wall-flowers who are warming a seat all night in the corner, just sitting, watching from afar, and waiting for someone to make the first move, they aren't even noticed most of the time.

Go, mingle, smile, and have fun.
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