Worst...icebreaker...ever!!

[MulderNScully]

Both Scully and I went to investigate the goings on of one of our favorite clubs on Saturday. Our friends was with us, but the evening went sour for us due to a few things: A PERVE doing the worst DJing we ever heard (i.e. Cream/Prince, Do you really want to hurt me?/Culture Club, and some country song---actual rotation) and creaming his pants while listening to our friends make love in one of the rooms (then walking around with a stain on his pants); nobody really connecting with one another due to the size of the club. Each couple and single male were all in their little world, all in their cliques, no one connecting. This made the icebreaker one of the worst I ever seen--worst I've seen in this Lifestyle.

They had "judges" sitting in a seat while the ladies danced their sluttiest to get sexiest dancer honors. When the judges weren't happy with that they edged the ladies to strip down naked. Now don't get me wrong, we both love a naked lady like anyone else, but when you cheapen yourself to quote "break the ice" it bothers me, it bothered our friends, it bothered our group. When the younger guy asked Scully to join in she said, "I'm too classy to do that kind of stuff?" (God I love her!)

Shouldn't icebreakers help connect with one another and easy the nervousness of the situation you've entered into? The stuff we saw on Saturday we could see at any straight club while the "Girls Gone Wild" staff video tapes. Again, we're not prudes but as one of good friends say all the time: "You came in a lady we want you to come out as a lady."

No better words.

Mulder
(MulderNScully)

[intuition897]

I hate classlessness like that. There's a difference between appreciation of the feminine form and "perving". One makes you feel sexually powerful/effective (which is a good thing) and the other just makes you feel like you need a shower. We had one ogler who creeped me out our first time at a club. It's an off-premises club, but we had a fashion show that night. The "change room" was co-ed, where you just stripped off and tried on the things they had for sale. The ogler (whom we not-so-affectionately nicknamed Leering Larry) had been staring at me all night. I mean STARING. It got to a point here Mr. intuition was about to walk over and have a word with him. Well anyway, I wanted to have a look-see at some of the stuff for sale, and when I got up to go, Larry nearly knocks his drink over as he scrambled to get up there before I started peeling off my clothes. Yeah. Like I'm really gonna get naked in front of HIM.

What the hell was it with this guy?? I wasn't the only chick at the club that night! And I wasn't the prettiest. I felt like I had "Fresh Meat" written across my forehead. :rollseyes

Oh and cliques suck. One club we went to was very cliquish and we sat there all night staring at one another. Now it's not that Mr. intuition isn't a doll to stare at...but hell we could do that at home. It was boring. Nice club, crappy atmosphere.

[Spoomonkey]

Ice breakers at clubs are generally not something we dig.

We went to a house party recently and while there were some cute couples, there were also some couples who we weren't particularly interested in. But the game could easily lead us to do something with a couple that we simply couldn't stomach...

But you expect that at a house party and you get really good at playing to lose.

At a club we went to once, the ice breaker they did was basically the same thing - mix and mingle, regardless of how completely unattractive those you may be mixing with happen to be.

For us - let the couples be adult and just meet people. Seems pretty simple to me... In fact, stuff like that usually happens at a time of night when it kind of cuts into a conversation that is going in the right direction.

But - the ice breaker you discribe, Mulder... Mrs Spoo would have reacted the same way. There is a difference being being slutty (a good thing) and being trashy (a bad thing). People who run clubs like that don't know the difference and pay the price with the clientele they attract.

Spoomonkey

[good times]

I am glad to see that I am not the only one that hates ice breaker games. We are pretty outgoing, so if we find you appealing, we will usually find an adequate way to introduce ourselves without anyone elses intervention.

[Thrax]

It seems to me that the people who are most excited about icebreaker games at parties are the ones that are least in the need of "icebreaking."

I agree with Spoo that icebreakers can easily end up in an awkward situation if you really don't want to do certain things with some -- or any -- of the others in the game. With that said, if the people who are rounded up to play the games are all willing, I don't see a problem with them doing it and letting the rest of us watch...

Actually, there have been a few icebreaker games at some parties I've been to that have been fun without making me cringe with fear. But they were adult versions of kids' party games, and not the Lick-A-Body-Part-Of-Someone-Who-Is-Not-Your-Partner variety.

And as a nudist I wouldn't be averse to Strip Poker or Strip Dice just to liven things up a little.

Thrax

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by MulderNScully

Shouldn't icebreakers help connect with one another and easy the nervousness of the situation you've entered into?

Absolutely! Ideally, they're just what you said...a way to get people circulating and help them get past their nervousness. Unfortunately, when "icebreakers" require people to touch and be touched in overtly sexual ways, it has the opposite effect. There's a difference between encouraging your guests to expand their sexual limits and requiring them to do so, and it sounds like your host stepped over the line.

I don't know why some folks are so hesitant to participate in icebreakers with people they don't feel are "attractive" enough to meet their standards. It's a game, people...not flirting, and not foreplay. Touching somebody and acknowledging their sexuality doesn't obligate you to have sex with them. If it did, we'd ALL be getting laid a lot more...

If the club this happened at is the one I think it is, what you described is just one of the reasons there aren't as many members as there were a few years ago. The owners need to decide whether they want to be running a Swing Club, a "Dating Lounge," or a sleezy adult bookstore. They're certainly getting good at attracting the kinds of people that you'd find at the latter 2 establishments.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by JnCC

I don't know why some folks are so hesitant to participate in icebreakers with people they don't feel are "attractive" enough to meet their standards.

Simple - while it may enhance their club experience it would do exactly the opposite to mine. I am not there to cop feels to acknowledge someone's sexuality. If I am not comfortable with something, I am not going to do it. Feeling up a lady I'm not attracted to is patronizing to her and absolutely no fun for me.

Spoomonkey

[JnCC]

Did you ever think that maybe they were doing it for your benefit?

It could be their way of saying, "Get me drunk enough, and I might do you"

[VegasLee]

Mulder,

If the club you are talking about is in the club listings sounds to me like you should be posting a review of it there. Let others know what your experience is.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by JnCC

Did you ever think that maybe they were doing it for your benefit?

It could be their way of saying, "Get me drunk enough, and I might do you"

Well - that may be YOUR experience...



Frankly, I don't care why they would play the game. If I am not interested in them, I'm not going to play... You see - I wouldn't benefit one way or the other, regardless of their motivation...

Now, if you are desperate and that's what it takes to get your gherkin jerked, by all means... Play on, Playa

Spoomonkey

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by JnCC

I don't know why some folks are so hesitant to participate in icebreakers with people they don't feel are "attractive" enough to meet their standards. It's a game, people...not flirting, and not foreplay. Touching somebody and acknowledging their sexuality doesn't obligate you to have sex with them. If it did, we'd ALL be getting laid a lot more...

JnCC,

If I don't find someone attractive, then it is for sure I don't want to be sending them the wrong signals. Likewise, if someone isn't into me, I don't want them sending me the wrong signals. Game or not, sexual touching is more serious than simply flirting. Never mind exactly where the dividing line is-- the icebreakers, I imagine, have stepped over it.

It's not as if "it doesn't count" because it's a game. It's not about standards or exclusion. It's about being sexual because you like someone, not because the bottle is pointing at you.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by The Fuse

It's about being sexual because you like someone, not because the bottle is pointing at you.

What about my bottle?



Spoomonkey

[WildMiCouple]

The off-premise dances we go to do not have ice breakers. Doubt we'd participate if they did, as we never have trouble meeting other couples.

I tend to agree with Spoo too....let me pick who I want to play sexy games with. I'd rather not send the wrong signal to another couple that we had played "ice breaker games" with that we had no intentions of having sex with later

Brett

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

What about my bottle?



Spoomonkey

facelick Hee...if I'm not mistaken, monkeys can hold four bottles at once. Point any one of 'em at me...or all of them if you prefer.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by The Fuse

facelick Hee...if I'm not mistaken, monkeys can hold four bottles at once. Point any one of 'em at me...or all of them if you prefer.

Hmmm... New ice breaker... Spin the monkey

Spoomonkey