When things get out of control......

videocouple75 · 09-26-2005, 02:26 PM

We were at a club last weekend. We were in the hot tub and there were lots of other couples in there as well. My wife started dancing (nude). Another female decided to join her. Well, before you know, they are kissing and sucking each other's nipples and going at it. They moved over to the steps and kept up the action. Well another female that we know came over and joined in on my wife as well. It was very hot, but I guess it was a little too hot because alot of other people just thought that it was ok to just help themselves to some feeling and kissing. They were single males.

I eventually had to break it up because more and more people were making their way over. It could have easily gotten out of control. Maybe I'm a party pooper but I didn't see anyone else offering up there wives for something like that. I mean, what goes through a guy's brain that just because these women are playing in an open forum that it's an open invitation for anyone.

I guess it's the same with the meeting sites. We state specifically in our profile that pics are required in order to chat. I must answer about 10 emails per day without pics. These people for some reason believe that just because a woman is in the lifestyle, that she is desperately seeking any sex that she can get.

But back to the club....I know I did the right thing but some people acted like I committed a crime or something.

jennandjamesinm · 09-26-2005, 02:37 PM

I think you did the right thing. Just because your wife and the other women were playing doesn't give anyone the right to cop a feel or more. I wouldn't worry too much aboutthe people at the club, if they continue to respond like that - maybe its time for a new club where folks respect boundaries.

Jenn

**BiloxiCouple** · 09-26-2005, 03:34 PM

Quote:

I mean, what goes through a guy's brain

If it is anything like a bug hitting your windshield it is probably his ass.

Pepper & Drew · 09-26-2005, 03:35 PM

Heck no, you didn't commit a crime. We've also been in situations where people think it's ok to just join in and cop a feel. You absolutely did the right thing and if others think you did something wrong....screw them...or, don't screw them....

. I think those that objected were just upset that the show was over.

Pepper

Chicup · 09-26-2005, 03:56 PM

And people wonder why so many clubs don't allow single males.

No you did the right thing, find a new club.

biblonde · 09-26-2005, 04:29 PM

You did the right thing. Personally I would expect my hubby to step up and say something if others felt the need to push themselves in the mix. Some people think that if women are playing that is an invite to everyone..Most of us like to be asked if extras can join in and not just get felt up by everyone walking by. We should have the choice of who is touching us and if someone crosses that line my hubby would step in and do exactly what you did. If other didnt like it TOOO BADDDD....it is a simple thing called respect!! Be proud of what you did and I bet your wife is extreamly proud of you also!!

BorisNatasha · 09-26-2005, 06:28 PM

Does this sort of thing happen often at clubs? Or are these stories the rare exception? I am very concerned about somebody jumping in and doing something that freaks Natasha out just as we are getting comfortable with the idea of this lifestyle.

Boris

Vespertine · 09-26-2005, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by biblonde

Be proud of what you did and I bet your wife is extreamly proud of you also!!

Dito

You did the right thing.

**two4youinswva** · 09-26-2005, 10:32 PM

Something similar happened to us recently. Mrs two4you and a lady friend were having fun and putting on quite the show, when a guy decided to jump in and start sucking on Mrs two4you's breast.

He wasn't invited, and wasn't needed, as they were doing quite well on their own.

It took a couple seconds for me to process what was going on. Obviously the ladies were not interested in his participation. I discreetly leaned over and said "Dude, they don't want you in the mix". He looked up, and said "Oh, uh, Ok", and moved on.

Ours is a couples only club, and it was obvious he came with a ticket. It was his first and last time there.

So, yes, you did the right thing!

VegasLee · 09-26-2005, 11:18 PM

You did the right thing. We deal with 800 to 1000 people each week at the club. Once in awhile this happens and a stop has to be put to it.

We personally stop it when the first uninvited person joins in. Not all the action, just the "extra" that was not invited. In this case it would have been when the extra women joined in without asking and also any men that joined in.

Anyone else notice that no one is saying anything about the uninvited third women that joined in but jumping up over the men?

Something else we find, many times it is the "married" men that feel they have the right to jump in because "they brought something to the party" as I have been told by a couple of them as they where asked to leave.

When we party, the women have to follow the rules as everyone else. If you are not invited, you don't join in.

BodyScape02 · 09-27-2005, 10:34 AM

Vegas, I like your stance on this one. Indeed, everyone should follow the rules. Women have been getting a nod and wink when they jump into a situation. That may be because so many of us desire them to do so. I think the reason the men are singled out so much is because they seem to be the main perpetrators in these situations.

Someone else asked if this is the sort of thing that happens a lot at clubs. At the one we go to it is NOT the norm but it can happen. For instance, there are playrooms that have doors to provide privacy. The clubs policy s that if a door is closed only STAFF may knock on it and NO ONE is to open it unless invited by the occupants. Occasionally single men, some of whom may have drunk too much, open those closed doors and walk in. We’ve had it happen to us on one occasion.

That is only ONCE in attending off and on for about 2 years or so. So, no, it’s not a normal thing, just something to be aware of.

txduo2000 · 09-27-2005, 10:45 AM

I don't think it's a "normal" thing to be terribly concerned with happening. I think it is rare, indeed. We go to off-premise clubs, as well as on-premise clubs and we have only had one instance where something like this occurred to us personally and it wasn't that big a deal. You definitely have to be able to be confrontive enough that if it does happen, you won't have any question about whether you are within your rights so to speak to interrupt and let them know their attentions are unwanted.

A couple weeks ago we went to an off-premise club. It was off-premise, however, they did have a VIP room where activity could take place if desired. Some of you may be familiar with these types of clubs ... they have a "vice" light that they switch on if the cops are in the vicinity ... lol.

Anyway, hubby and I were playing in the VIP room together and a single guy walked over and was watching ... that's fine, I am all for putting on a show. Then he started touching me ... I am not sure if he asked my husband first, but I do know that as he started touching me more freely, I asked my husband if he was ok with it. Hubby said it was fine as long as I was ok with it. But I know that if hubby had not wanted it from the get-go, he definitely would have told the guy to step off.

You just have to NOT be afraid to establish and stick to your boundaries. There's always a chance that someone will think it's a free-for-all, though in our experience it's not all that common.

**good times** · 09-27-2005, 03:51 PM

How common this is seems to vary from club to club and your experiance will most likely vary. We go to several clubs, all on premise. Most of the clubs we have been to this isn't much of a problem, but at our favorite club this is very common and we have run into it quite often. Vegas Lee also said something that we have found to be true to, we have noticed that members of couples, both female and male can be more forward and do things without asking sometimes than some of the single males. The best response is a firm no and if that doesn't work let the management know as all clubs we have been to have rules in place that require someone to ask before touching. Usually, if you tell someone to stop they do so right away. In the almost three years we have been going to clubs we have only had to refer someone to the club management once, and they were promptly shown the door.

Pepper & Drew · 09-27-2005, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VegasLee

When we party, the women have to follow the rules as everyone else. If you are not invited, you don't join in.

Yep, I've seen women get embarrassed for joining in uninvited too.

This one time, at porn camp, (sorry, see this thread) a couple of ladies were getting as involved as you can at an off-premises party and a third lady joins in. The other two stopped and one woman said some pretty disparaging words to Third. Third lady's husband gets all huffy (completely not acknowledging the fact that his wife jumped in uninvited) and swinger drama ensues :rollseyes . It's not just men. Sometimes I think the women are worse.

Pepper

txduo2000 · 09-27-2005, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

This one time, at porn camp, (sorry, see this thread)
Pepper

I read that thread a few days ago ... had me in stitches! LOL

Were you just staring at her with a WTF look all night long?????

I would have been!!!

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09-26-2005, 02:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
videocouple75 Active Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 14 Location: ohio	When things get out of control...... We were at a club last weekend. We were in the hot tub and there were lots of other couples in there as well. My wife started dancing (nude). Another female decided to join her. Well, before you know, they are kissing and sucking each other's nipples and going at it. They moved over to the steps and kept up the action. Well another female that we know came over and joined in on my wife as well. It was very hot, but I guess it was a little too hot because alot of other people just thought that it was ok to just help themselves to some feeling and kissing. They were single males. I eventually had to break it up because more and more people were making their way over. It could have easily gotten out of control. Maybe I'm a party pooper but I didn't see anyone else offering up there wives for something like that. I mean, what goes through a guy's brain that just because these women are playing in an open forum that it's an open invitation for anyone. I guess it's the same with the meeting sites. We state specifically in our profile that pics are required in order to chat. I must answer about 10 emails per day without pics. These people for some reason believe that just because a woman is in the lifestyle, that she is desperately seeking any sex that she can get. But back to the club....I know I did the right thing but some people acted like I committed a crime or something.

09-26-2005, 02:37 PM	#2 (permalink)
jennandjamesinm Care to join us??? Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 1,460 Location: Northwest Mississippi Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:jennandjamesinms	Re: When things get out of control...... I think you did the right thing. Just because your wife and the other women were playing doesn't give anyone the right to cop a feel or more. I wouldn't worry too much aboutthe people at the club, if they continue to respond like that - maybe its time for a new club where folks respect boundaries. Jenn
	__________________ "Swinging is the women's amusement park, and men are just along for the thrill ride." ~ James

09-26-2005, 03:35 PM	#4 (permalink)
Pepper & Drew Mmmmm...tasty! Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 1,035 Location: Hurricane Alley Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:alhedonists	Re: When things get out of control...... Heck no, you didn't commit a crime. We've also been in situations where people think it's ok to just join in and cop a feel. You absolutely did the right thing and if others think you did something wrong....screw them...or, don't screw them..... I think those that objected were just upset that the show was over. Pepper
	__________________ "Swinging is a lot like riding a Harley, ...for those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't, no explanation is possible." --Mr. Alura

09-26-2005, 03:56 PM	#5 (permalink)
Chicup Not a potential *** Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 4,093 Location: Under the bed Status: Tired	Re: When things get out of control...... And people wonder why so many clubs don't allow single males. No you did the right thing, find a new club.

09-26-2005, 04:29 PM	#6 (permalink)
biblonde Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,020 Location: sacramento Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:curious1918	Re: When things get out of control...... You did the right thing. Personally I would expect my hubby to step up and say something if others felt the need to push themselves in the mix. Some people think that if women are playing that is an invite to everyone..Most of us like to be asked if extras can join in and not just get felt up by everyone walking by. We should have the choice of who is touching us and if someone crosses that line my hubby would step in and do exactly what you did. If other didnt like it TOOO BADDDD....it is a simple thing called respect!! Be proud of what you did and I bet your wife is extreamly proud of you also!!

09-26-2005, 06:28 PM	#7 (permalink)
BorisNatasha Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 206 Location: Denver, CO Status: Couple	Re: When things get out of control...... Does this sort of thing happen often at clubs? Or are these stories the rare exception? I am very concerned about somebody jumping in and doing something that freaks Natasha out just as we are getting comfortable with the idea of this lifestyle. Boris

09-26-2005, 10:32 PM	#9 (permalink)
two4youinswva Better than Ice Cream Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 6,660 Location: va Status: Couple. He posts, She reads	Re: When things get out of control...... Something similar happened to us recently. Mrs two4you and a lady friend were having fun and putting on quite the show, when a guy decided to jump in and start sucking on Mrs two4you's breast. He wasn't invited, and wasn't needed, as they were doing quite well on their own. It took a couple seconds for me to process what was going on. Obviously the ladies were not interested in his participation. I discreetly leaned over and said "Dude, they don't want you in the mix". He looked up, and said "Oh, uh, Ok", and moved on. Ours is a couples only club, and it was obvious he came with a ticket. It was his first and last time there. So, yes, you did the right thing!
	__________________ Knew a girl named Nikki I guess you could say....

09-26-2005, 11:18 PM	#10 (permalink)
VegasLee Laura's Male Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1,951 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada Status: Laura's Male	Re: When things get out of control...... You did the right thing. We deal with 800 to 1000 people each week at the club. Once in awhile this happens and a stop has to be put to it. We personally stop it when the first uninvited person joins in. Not all the action, just the "extra" that was not invited. In this case it would have been when the extra women joined in without asking and also any men that joined in. Anyone else notice that no one is saying anything about the uninvited third women that joined in but jumping up over the men? Something else we find, many times it is the "married" men that feel they have the right to jump in because "they brought something to the party" as I have been told by a couple of them as they where asked to leave. When we party, the women have to follow the rules as everyone else. If you are not invited, you don't join in.
	__________________ You all laugh at me because I am different. I laugh at all of you because you are all the same.

09-27-2005, 10:34 AM	#11 (permalink)
BodyScape02 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 556 Location: off the board	Re: When things get out of control...... Vegas, I like your stance on this one. Indeed, everyone should follow the rules. Women have been getting a nod and wink when they jump into a situation. That may be because so many of us desire them to do so. I think the reason the men are singled out so much is because they seem to be the main perpetrators in these situations. Someone else asked if this is the sort of thing that happens a lot at clubs. At the one we go to it is NOT the norm but it can happen. For instance, there are playrooms that have doors to provide privacy. The clubs policy s that if a door is closed only STAFF may knock on it and NO ONE is to open it unless invited by the occupants. Occasionally single men, some of whom may have drunk too much, open those closed doors and walk in. We’ve had it happen to us on one occasion. That is only ONCE in attending off and on for about 2 years or so. So, no, it’s not a normal thing, just something to be aware of.

09-27-2005, 10:45 AM	#12 (permalink)
txduo2000 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 662 Location: Dallas TX Area Status: Couple	Re: When things get out of control...... I don't think it's a "normal" thing to be terribly concerned with happening. I think it is rare, indeed. We go to off-premise clubs, as well as on-premise clubs and we have only had one instance where something like this occurred to us personally and it wasn't that big a deal. You definitely have to be able to be confrontive enough that if it does happen, you won't have any question about whether you are within your rights so to speak to interrupt and let them know their attentions are unwanted. A couple weeks ago we went to an off-premise club. It was off-premise, however, they did have a VIP room where activity could take place if desired. Some of you may be familiar with these types of clubs ... they have a "vice" light that they switch on if the cops are in the vicinity ... lol. Anyway, hubby and I were playing in the VIP room together and a single guy walked over and was watching ... that's fine, I am all for putting on a show. Then he started touching me ... I am not sure if he asked my husband first, but I do know that as he started touching me more freely, I asked my husband if he was ok with it. Hubby said it was fine as long as I was ok with it. But I know that if hubby had not wanted it from the get-go, he definitely would have told the guy to step off. You just have to NOT be afraid to establish and stick to your boundaries. There's always a chance that someone will think it's a free-for-all, though in our experience it's not all that common.
	__________________ Life is not measured by how many breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.

09-27-2005, 03:51 PM	#13 (permalink)
good times Mod Squad Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 6,919 Location: Reno, Nevada Status: Married to Mrs Good Times Swing Lifestyle Name:randp	Re: When things get out of control...... How common this is seems to vary from club to club and your experiance will most likely vary. We go to several clubs, all on premise. Most of the clubs we have been to this isn't much of a problem, but at our favorite club this is very common and we have run into it quite often. Vegas Lee also said something that we have found to be true to, we have noticed that members of couples, both female and male can be more forward and do things without asking sometimes than some of the single males. The best response is a firm no and if that doesn't work let the management know as all clubs we have been to have rules in place that require someone to ask before touching. Usually, if you tell someone to stop they do so right away. In the almost three years we have been going to clubs we have only had to refer someone to the club management once, and they were promptly shown the door.
	__________________ R (He is R, she is P)

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