Our First Club Experience - LOL

[HUSGal]

Okay, so our first experience was interesting. I found myself being a little bit more reserve than I expected. Actually, I was more of a giggle box than anything.

It was A LOT to take in all at once.

I spent half the night attempting not to make eye contact or look at anyone really. Met couple of nice people, who I'm sure are thinking that I'm prude and wondering what I was doing there last night.

Brian went walking around the club. Stopped and watched people. I ventured over there about the last 30 minutes when there was less people (for some reason I just felt like I would be grabbed in the dark by someone, maybe it's my non trusting strangers self starting to come out?) so I didn't want to risk it.

I encouraged Brian to play if he wanted. He encouraged me, but there were only a hand full (3) of people who I even had a remote interest in and they weren't playing. Okay 2 didn't, 1 was "occupied" when I went to find him so I didn't bother him.

But all in all, not a bad experience at all. We're making plans to go back next Saturday. I just had a lot on my mind (not sexual), and I won't be checking my email before I go next time. Just couldn't pull my mind away from what I had read in my emails. And that was a total mood killer.

Oh, and I'll probably leave my hat at home *gasp* I think that really prevented the approach of a lot of people. Besides, I think it's a clutch and one that I'm going to have to learn to let go I guess. I dunno!

[JustAskJulie]

I think for a lot of people a hat is like a mask, it really is a crutch or something to hide behind, and it sounds like that was the case for you too.

At least you got to go and get a good idea of what to expect for next time. It might be a good thing that you were side-tracked with other issues as it may have kept from you moving too fast.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by HUSGal

I spent half the night attempting not to make eye contact or look at anyone really.

This is exactly what I did the first time. Which is not like me in vanilla situations, but I was so overly concerned that if I looked anyone in the eye, they would take that to mean I wanted to play.

I've since learned this isn't the case.

As you become more comfortable at the clubs, you'll feel more like looking people in the eye.

I'm glad things went as well as they did. The first experience can be shocking, enough to scare some people away forever.

But I didn't want to tell you that the other day.

LM

[HUSGal]

I think for a lot of people a hat is like a mask, it really is a crutch or something to hide behind, and it sounds like that was the case for you too.

Guilty as charged. I never realized out "out of my normal environment" I would feel. However, there was a guy there in a NICE pair of Wranglers that helped me feel a little more like home.

At least you got to go and get a good idea of what to expect for next time. It might be a good thing that you were side-tracked with other issues as it may have kept from you moving too fast.

Yes, I never thought about it like that. There were a couple of guys who offered to "take it off my mind", but it just didn't feel right. KWIM?? However, I'm glad that I didn't do anything that I would regret later. That would have left a very bad taste in my mouth for sure!

[HUSGal]

This is exactly what I did the first time. Which is not like me in vanilla situations, but I was so overly concerned that if I looked anyone in the eye, they would take that to mean I wanted to play.

So how did you get over this? Just with time??

I'm glad things went as well as they did. The first experience can be shocking, enough to scare some people away forever.

But I didn't want to tell you that the other day.

I can see how it would scare people away forever. I'm easily scared, but I never go away from a scary thing. Does this make sense?? I just keep going back until the thing that I once thought was scary isn't scary anymore.

Thank you for not telling me that the other day. I probably wouldn't have gone to the club for the tour, muchless for any interaction!

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by HUSGal

This is exactly what I did the first time. Which is not like me in vanilla situations, but I was so overly concerned that if I looked anyone in the eye, they would take that to mean I wanted to play.

So how did you get over this? Just with time??

I'm glad things went as well as they did. The first experience can be shocking, enough to scare some people away forever.

But I didn't want to tell you that the other day.

I can see how it would scare people away forever. I'm easily scared, but I never go away from a scary thing. Does this make sense?? I just keep going back until the thing that I once thought was scary isn't scary anymore.

Thank you for not telling me that the other day. I probably wouldn't have gone to the club for the tour, muchless for any interaction!

I got over it - as I recall - by becoming more familiar with swinging through what I read here on the board, and between my first and second club experiences we had met two couples, swung, and I felt I'd finally broken into swinging. Time and experience is the answer to feeling more comfortable at a club.

I do understand what you mean about being scared and confronting what scares you.

LM

[good times]

This reminded me of our first time to a club, The hosts introduced us to another new couple and we sat there visiting them and sneaking looks around out of the corner of our eye. We never moved the whole night, I'm sure we looked to others like a deer caught in the headlights. And like you, we couldn't wait to go back again the next week. That next time we were much less nervous but still didn't interact with others much. We did get to look around a little though. The third time we went we had decided to buck up and visit with a few people and we weren't hardly nervous at all. We had our first full swap experiance that night and since then have never been nervous at all.