More and more couples coming just to watch

[good times]

We attend a local on premise club and have noticed recently that a larger and larger porportion of people attending on couples night (the only night we go, its probably the same other nights) are just their to watch people having sex. The only thing we can figure is that as swinging is becoming more visible people are saying, hey lets go down to that club and watch people have sex. In our club the play room is kind of small, 6 or 7 couples in there makes it crowded. We went in the play room friday and their were three couples in there with their clothes on looking like they were at the movies waiting for the show to start. We figured that maybe they just didn't want to be the first to get going so we got started and really didn't pay much attention for a while but then they started to giggle and whisper to each other which was a mood killer for us. When we decided we had had enough of that and started to leave they started begging us to not go and to continue. At this point Mrs. got pissed and told them that we would be much more comfortable having sex with our friends out in the bar (allowed in our club) and we left. The club hosts later told us we should have told the offending couples to participate or leave as the room is clearly labeled "Couples only play Room" but as they were in there when we arrived we didn't feel comfortable being the heavies. Normally the hosts police this type of thing pretty good but this example got us thinking about this.

My question with this long winded post is, have you noticed a big rise in the amount of voyeours attending clubs and parties lately? If so, Why do you think this is?

[JustAskJulie]

Interesting. I know a lot of clubs require you to be naked in the play rooms just to prevent this type of thing from occuring.

I'm not big on having people just standing around watching and I would have felt like you did (although I probably would have said something to them).

[RW1F]

Goodtimes,

We are only interested in voyeurism (for now, and more than likely the foreseeable future). But it would go both ways if we were taking up space in a fuck room. Would we join? No. Would we at least play with each other and not just sit and drool? Yep. Otherwise, why not just rent a video? What's the point?

So in answer to your question, this is one new couple that is only interested in the voyeur aspect.

[good times]

We would have had no problem with them if they were playing with each other, in fact if they had just watched quietly we probably wouldn't have even noticed. Our club also has a get naked in the play room policy and as Julie said we should have told them that and asked them to get with it or leave. But in reality by the point we really noticed what they were doing it had allready spoiled the mood so we might not have continued anyway.

At the very least they could have brought some pop corn.

[omneesx]

Usually, especially in our American society, as things become more mainstream or popular, the usual approach is for people to do it half-assed (i.e. dieting, fashion or voting). Not very many people put in the time and effort to research something new, gather all of the available information and then make an informed choice on whether or not its for them. Instead, most just go do what seems to be the popular thing to do at the time.
Personally, we don't mind the gawking so much in that we've come to expect it over the years. Granted, so people are able to watch and make you feel like you should be getting paid for the show while others give off a more sensual vibe as they watch. We rationalize it with the idea that, "Hey, at least they had the gumption/balls to come down and see for themselves.
A & L

[LikeMinds321]

There certainly must be good reason for rules about what the purpose of the playroom is, and as it was explained to me when we went to a local club, you go there IF you want to play, IF you want to be involved.

If you want to watch, at the very least, take your clothes off! Then you seem to be involved in a way. You have given something to the setting.

Why are there so many voyeurs?

Because it's sexually stimulating, it poses no STD risks, you don't have to "get involved" with another person, it can be an easy way to get your kicks.

That's my take on it.

LM

[VegasLee]

I have been seeing this happening and posting about it for a couple years now.

We have watched at clubs to see what the ratios are and also at many major conventions.

75% to 80% of the people that come to many clubs and conventions DO NOT PLAY.

They are there for the atmosphere and to watch things going on.

This started when the Internet got big and has increased greatly in the last three years.

Years ago, you had to know someone or find one of the "dirty adult papers" to find a club or swing (SEX) party. Now you get on the Internet and find hundreds of parties in minutes. Used to be when you went to a swing party you went there to have sex! Now you go to dance, be social and watch others have sex.

Yes, times have changed and they keep changing. That is one reason there is so many different types of clubs and parties so you can find something that you enjoy.

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

That would have bothered me more than Mr Spoo, he always likes the thought of someone watching us.

We haven't noticed that happening too much at the club we go to except maybe for the single men. They tend to hang around in the group room area (which we've never seen much going on there) and then when couples or a threesome head into a private room they try to follow or hover around the door till you close it hoping that you won't.

I think there are some couples who come to just enjoy the atmosphere at a club and catch a glimpse of any activities that may occur in other areas of the club beside the designated rooms. We've never been aware of it becoming a problem or issue like you experienced though. It seems to depend on the crowd on any given night. We have a club that we go to most of the time and know a lot of people there (regulars so to speak) but the atmosphere and mix has been different everytime.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[mrs good times]

Vegaslee,

Do you think the pendulem will every swing back the other way again?

What I mean is when there are so many voyeurs at the club that those willing to actually have sex and/or swap stop going, what will the voyeurs do? I personally am becoming annoyed with the gawkers because they generally don't try to learn the rules and can be rude. The exhibitionists are cool because at least they are participating in some form and while we are not exhibitionists either we have often times had sex together in the play room for lack of meeting someone we found interesting.

The other thing that we have noticed is the crowd becoming younger. I think there is a corelation between the two problems. What is your opinion?

[VegasLee]

At the club here in Vegas that we host at each week we have noticed in the last three years that there is more and more of the "social' crowd coming. They dance, hang out, make friends but they don't tend to play. Some of the ladies will dance nasty, maybe take the tops off or play with the other ladies on the dance floor but then it stops there.

Some of us that been around a long time compare notes from clubs around the country and make a joke that the swing clubs are turning into dirty dance clubs these days.

When we host special parties at the clubs, or convention or anywhere else we always theme our parties to get people out of the "norm". We found that is condutive to getting some great old time orgies and playing going one.

We host what we call a "naked and Naughty" party. All women have to be in lingerie or less, men must be NAKED! Turns the tables real fast doing this but makes for a great party. We just had one two weeks ago and all of them we avg. 250 people showing up to them. Many of those people are regulars at the club but like it that the crowd is much different when you apply a dress code like that. It bring us all back to what the club used to be years ago, a real swing (sex) party. At convention we have 7 parties in 4 days. Three in the afternoon and they are all "naked only" dress code. Each night the dress code theme is different but they all lead to everyone being naked pretty fast. When you require that people get out of the street clothes things tend to heat up pretty fast and get going.

I do not think that the clubs will change back to the way they used to be. We do see nights as you mentioned that the crowd seems to be a bit younger but they don't tend to become regulars. The young crowd has not really grasped their sexually and emotions to fit in well in the long term. There is exceptions to that but most of them come and go pretty fast.

We have also noticed that over the years our "core" group changes. There is a few of us that have been hanging out for years together but we lose some, get some new ones and it keeps going that way. New ones come and go, some long term and some short but it works for us. What used to be a core group of about 30 of us there is only about 8 to 10 of us left. Some of the new ones have been around for about a year now though.

We have found things happen. People move away, drop out of the lifestyle or just go else where. Some couples split up also so we end up losing one or both of them when that happens. We do have a few singles that been hanging with the group though for a few years now. Both male and female.

As they say, the only thing that stays the same is the fact that it all changes.

[Chicup]

Being one of these 'internet' swingers I think I can at least speak for some of the less active crowd.

Now while we wouldn't go into a room to watch (that would be rude), we are not into the 'sex club' concept either. We view clubs as a place we can relax, not worry about people thinking we are swingers, and a good place to meet other couples. The internet may make it easier to find swingers, but its a pain in the ass finding good ones. Hence going to a club lets us meet other couples without the fakes/email games.

I've seen this lament for the last two years about the 'good old days' and I can understand how the new swingers are somewhat frustrating, but we are different in our desires. We are looking for friends, and 'private' sex in our homes, and in the long run this is good for swinging I think. The more people involved the less stigma attached and the less some local government can be a pita come election year. The all naked rule is probably a good one for people looking for old time swinging. I wouldn’t mind but I KNOW my wife wouldn’t do it.

[HotCoupleGnS]

I agree with what chicup said. We aren't quit ready for sex at a club yet. But I don't think we even have one near us, & we aure aren't gonna travel to one. But if we did have one, I would think it would be a good place to meet couples. We do have a few off premise clubs, but a change of scenery is always good.

Maybe give some of these couples that just hang out & watch some time. Mabey then they will join in. I know if we ever ventured to an on-premis club it would take us a little while of watching before we would be able to participate. Although I am sure we would play with each other, or in the least we wouldn't giggle or any of that.

[BodyScape02]

I think there are a few different issues and classes of club goers being discussed here.

We don’t care for the non-participating gawkers ourselves. They have an open group room where we go and all it takes is one couple to head to it and about 5 to 10 men are there in seconds to watch. One night the air-conditioning system broke down and the place became quite hot. A staff member opened one of the fire doors that is located in the group area as there was no on there. My sweetie and I, needing the cool winter air, sat on the edge of the bed. Our butts had just planted when 6 men came and just lined up against the wall, waiting for us to DO something…Yoinks! Needless to say, we don’t play in the group room. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just not our thing.

There have been a few times, when the place is particularly jumping, when we can’t find an open private room to play. The occasion has occurred sometimes wherein I am receiving oral sex from one or more ladies in a back hall when some bloke comes and sticks his face as close as possible to watch! That really turns me off….

So, gawkers…especially rude ones, we don’t care for.

Now as to the non-participating club goers who are there to simply meet people who don’t gawk. We think this is fine, not everyone wants to have sex in a club and that is cool. There are nights when we go to only be social and perhaps meet someone we can invite home. We are not ravenous swingers and don’t feel we HAVE to score every time we go to the club. We’ve met some really nice couples and singles just being social and not looking to get any at the same time.

So, social club goers, we like of course.

~D2, the male 1/2

[CB_n_Red]

Got to say, all the comments about intrusive single blokes at clubs convinces me that we made the right decision to stick with couples only nights at clubs, once we start doing that. Not that Red doesn't fancy taking on a room full of men, but not like that!

CB

[mrs good times]

I'm not saying that everyone has to have sex just because they came to the club. We don't always, definatly didn't on our first time and sometimes just aren't able to (that time of the month) but we still go to the club and see our friends and stay at the bar.

What really bothers me are the true voyeurs. Lately we have found that 3 out of 5 couples we talk to are just there to watch. We have had people say just that to us and even go so far as to say "we would love to watch the two of you have sex".

We are into swapping and that is why we go to the club. We want to meet couples with the same intentions.