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Our Most Awkward Experience or Why LS & Vanilla Friends Don't Mix

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This is one experience of ours that while very uncomfortable at the time is also something we can look back and laugh about now:

 

Back when we were still new to this and soft-swap only we meet this couple and went to their house. Though they were nice people overall , they were somewhat pushy when it came to our boundaries as the woman kept trying to convince me (the male) to fuck her even though my wife was not comfortable at that point yet to allow it and they both kept trying to talk me into touching the other male even though we made it clear upfront that although it didn't bother me that he was Bi, I was not interested in exploring that aspect. Despite all that, we perhaps unwisely decided to meet them again at a barbecue they were having for their vanilla friends and then we could play after everyone left.

 

Now let's just say both of us are rather introverted (even more so back then) and have had a time enough holding a conversation with LS people. But to be surrounded by their friends and co-workers, all strangers to us, and have stick to vanilla topics to avoid blowing anyone's cover was all together something else. Though they introduced us as "friends" it was clear we would have to act like we knew this couple for a long-time as well as a lot about them, despite the fact we knew almost nothing about their vanilla lives (hell we wouldn't even know their last names if asked!). All this added to the fact because of the other male's work and circle of friends, they were mostly of the biker/construction worker/military veteran look and the subjects that dominated most of the conversations. We don't mean to stereotype anyone and while they seemed like cool people, frankly the contrast made us stand out even more. It was likely the most awkward hours of our lives, not knowing what to say to these people, while all the time them wondering of us who the hell are these people? We eventually left before anyone else.

 

The next day, the couple called us and confirmed that we were indeed the topic of conversation after we left as they had to try to circumvent the question of how we knew each other and apologized for putting us into such an uncomfortable position. Needless to say, that combined with the earlier issue of them trying push us into things we weren't ready for sealed the deal and we broke it off with them.

 

Not the most shining example in our LS travels and one we'll always remember for sure.

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Why would you feel you had to pretend to be long term friends??? We met a couple recently (vanilla) and really liked each other. Damned if he didn't up and die on us in a few short months and we had only got together a few times.

 

At the funeral (250+)and at the home after, which only a few (40) close friends & family got invited to we were quite upfront about only having met them a short while ago and really regretted not having more time with him. Nobody questioned it. Other than the wife and mother in law we hadn't met one of them before. If people were talking about you it was probably because they sensed your discomfort with the lying and it made them wonder.

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We mix l/s friends (one we can trust) with vanilla friends and family without any issue. But we always make sure we have a back story etc.

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We mix l/s friends (one we can trust) with vanilla friends and family without any issue. But we always make sure we have a back story etc.

 

We do too.

 

Funny story (well we think it is): A close swinger couple of ours had family from out of state visit (Mom, Dad, siblings) and wanted us to come over and enjoy a cookout with them. It was a fun evening getting to know their family, doing some karaoke, etc. Then, the standard family history slideshow started. Of course, there was a picture of Mrs. Playmate taking a bath around age 3. Her mom pipes up with "Look! You get to see her naked!".

 

I'm sure my face contorted in unique and in Jim Careyesque ways for a second. As soon as the four of us had a moment to ourselves, we had a good giggle about that moment.

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Ouch! We try to be very careful when mixing the two sides of our life. We do it on occasion and it's not been a big deal, but we only invite the LS friends that we consider REAL friends, not those we have just met or are still trying to get to know. The same goes in the other direction, we'd never invite a vanilla couple out to join us with a bunch of our swinger friends unless that vanilla couple (or friend) totally knew everything. This has happened on occasion or two and again it was no big deal, because said vanilla friends were open to whatever may come, and not caught off-guard.

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we have been looking into the LS for 8+ years but didn't have our first real experience about 1 year and a half ago, She would flirt(she always flirts) with this guy at work and the swinger subject came up. We set it up Where she would go get a massage ( his part time job) from him, Well the morning of she chickened out. She was just too nervous about my reaction. You know it's one thing in the bedroom but once it's done it's done. that was 3 years ago

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