Playing alone...

[dulciprajna 40]

Hello:

 

We are not very active members on these forums, but browse from time to time. Just some background on this as it adds to the pure excitement of this. We have played off and on in the lifestyle for about two years. We never really found a couple that clicked w/us as a couple. We kinda soft swapped a few times, but nothing serious. Mainly same room and similar ideas.

 

Fast forward about two years since we started. My wife and I are separated by a 2.5 hour drive by car as I am in school whilst she stays home w/the kids, working. We have discussed playing alone (considering the distances anyway), and the fact that we both fantasize about this. For most of the first few years of us playing, I believed my wife's curiosity of the lifestyle was to experiment on her bi side, but she never really pursued that when given the opportunity. As she became more comfortable and open towards me, it became evident that her fantasies really involved men well more than it ever did women.

 

Being in school now for about two months, and granted, we do see each other maybe every other weekend, the idea was given the go ahead to play around with finding possible partners to play with. Both whom I have approached so far down here (I am very picky) said no, but were flattered at the offer.

 

This past Friday, my wife met a musician at a concert she went to and she was very attracted to him. Said he was similar build to me, we are both string musicians and she loves to watch our fingers move the neck, and he was someone she new in elementary school years ago.

 

She propositioned him earlier today and he's cool with playing. This will be the first honest possibility for my wife to play "hard swap" so to speak, though I will not be there. Its really turning my crank (I'm aroused just writing this article).

 

She will see him again this coming Friday and I will be meeting him on Saturday when she comes down here for a party that he will be at. The excitement of this is just crazy cool to me. I will write more about this as it develops, including partners I get as well.

 

On a side note, its so weird just how close your love grows when the relationship opens like this. I find our communication to be stronger than ever, and our hearts are close, even though we have 2.5 hrs between us. For whatever reason, talking about such fantasies, and then seeing them becoming implemented brings us infinitely closer, and the communication feels almost pure, without interpretations, and full of love.

 

Anyhow, if you all would be interested in seeing how this develops for us, I will be happy to continue to post here on how its worked and what pitfalls or benefits we get from it.

[The Fuse 1,012]

I would really enjoy reading your updates.

 

Please be careful. It's easy for feelings to develop, especially when a husband and wife are living apart.

[Brian and Jo 344]

Yes, please keep us in the picture. We have both played alone from time to time and it has worked well for us. Neither of us had any feelings of jealousy - on the contrary we were happy that the other half was able to obtain sexual pleasure and fulfillment while the other was unavailable for whatever reason. Of course we were completely open with each other beforehand and sharing the details of our encounters afterwards.

[slevin 1,374]

Fast forward about two years since we started. My wife and I are separated by a 2.5 hour drive by car as I am in school whilst she stays home w/the kids, working.

 

(SNIP)

 

Being in school now for about two months, and granted, we do see each other maybe every other weekend,

 

Unrelated to your swinging separately question; 2.5 hours isn't all that far. How come you only see each other every couple of weeks? Is your school schedule really that busy?

 

I spent a year or so working out of town and took a 5 hour flight home every weekend. No way in hell I was going to miss being home every chance I got It was tiring, but well worth it. Just curious; if this arrangement is what works for you guys then that is all that matters (the travel, not the swinging).

[bbarnsworth 2,533]

Yes, please do keep us updated.

 

Also, love your avatar

[Nerdy_Slut 62]

My husband and I recently had a conversation about having an open marriage. I'm not sure if we will play together... but we're curious about trying so we plan to visit our local swinger's club this month and see how things go. Anyway, the most surprising thing that I learned about him during our long conversation was that the thought of me being with other men really excites my husband!

 

I agree with what you said, love grows when you are able to be open and honest with your partner about all of these things. We were close before... but we're both so much happier now. And I'm more in love with my husband than I have ever been!

 

I'm a lucky girl

[Chicup 38]

Just remember you don't get to choose who you fall in love with.

[bbarnsworth 2,533]

My husband and I recently had a conversation about having an open marriage. I'm not sure if we will play together... but we're curious about trying so we plan to visit our local swinger's club this month and see how things go. Anyway, the most surprising thing that I learned about him during our long conversation was that the thought of me being with other men really excites my husband!

 

Among the vanilla world, the idea of men being excited about their gf/wives having sex with other men while they watched is taboo. You're nuts if you think that way. But, everybody thinks that men's ultimate fantasies involve having two (or more) women in bed at once.

 

Reality (at least among swingers)? There was a poll here a while back that showed men prefer seeing their wives with another man 2:1 over getting to play with two women.

 

I'm definitely in the former category. It's incredible watching my wife have sex with someone else, and I'm ever glad we went down this road.

[divenaked 318]

I remember seeing a poll in Penthouse Mag (maybe?) about unspoken fantasies. Seems the number one for men was watching thier wife get fucked by someone else. Ya think?

[divenaked 318]

Always enjoyed the show myself..........for a while, then had to join in.

[dulciprajna 40]

Not Friday yet, so no updates yet, but slevin asked why I don't go home more often... Um, I dunno if you remember much about being in school, but generally you don't have much money, and I am lucky that I get to go home every other weekend. Doing this whilst raising 3 kids?! Are you nuts?

 

We are doing this basically on my wife's income and my student loans ONLY... Glad to hear, though, that you had the opportunity to get home more often than I can. Still, though, I must say that when we are together, whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-mama... We would be millionaires if someone would video that stuff, hehehehe...

[dulciprajna 40]

Update: Wow... Yesterday my wife and I talked and she wanted to know if I could give a friend of hers from HS a ride when I come to get the kids so that they can go together to the show. Had no issue, and I knew the girl in passing and from what Sue told me about her.

 

The ride from where I am to home is 2.5 hrs, so we had plenty of time to get to know each other. Great girl, beautiful, smart, social, and so at some point the conversation quickly went to sex and the whole open idea came up. She was more of the bi nature and her hubby is only comfortable w/her playing w/other girls, but we got all the gears rolling for sure...

 

Well, now my wife just msg'd me saying the show is over and that a threesome happening with her, the girl I drove up, and the boy toy. This is really really turning my crank like you wouldn't think.

 

When I got up there, wife and I got a few mins to ourselves, so we got to have fun, even if it was just a quickie. I can't wait to hear from her later tonight!!!!

[slevin 1,374]

Update: Wow... Yesterday my wife and I talked and she wanted to know if I could give a friend of hers from HS a ride when I come to get the kids so that they can go together to the show. Had no issue, and I knew the girl in passing and from what Sue told me about her.

 

The ride from where I am to home is 2.5 hrs, so we had plenty of time to get to know each other. Great girl, beautiful, smart, social, and so at some point the conversation quickly went to sex and the whole open idea came up. She was more of the bi nature and her hubby is only comfortable w/her playing w/other girls, but we got all the gears rolling for sure...

 

Well, now my wife just msg'd me saying the show is over and that a threesome happening with her, the girl I drove up, and the boy toy. This is really really turning my crank like you wouldn't think.

 

When I got up there, wife and I got a few mins to ourselves, so we got to have fun, even if it was just a quickie. I can't wait to hear from her later tonight!!!!

 

So the chick who told you her husband was only ok with her playing with girls ended up in a threesome with your wife and her new guy?

[slevin 1,374]

Not Friday yet, so no updates yet, but slevin asked why I don't go home more often... Um, I dunno if you remember much about being in school, but generally you don't have much money, and I am lucky that I get to go home every other weekend. Doing this whilst raising 3 kids?! Are you nuts?

 

Gotcha, that makes life difficult for sure. Hope it works out for you, I don't think I could deal with being away from home that much. Only being home on the weekend for as long as I did was bad enough. I won't do that again

[dulciprajna 40]

Gotcha, that makes life difficult for sure. Hope it works out for you, I don't think I could deal with being away from home that much. Only being home on the weekend for as long as I did was bad enough. I won't do that again

 

Well, that which doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger Honestly, I look for the silver lining in all things, and I can definitely say that our love has grown extremely strong since me leaving, which was opposite of what I thought would happen. Our communication is rock solid, and roles and identities seem to be much more defined now than they have been. Its really been a blessing.

[dulciprajna 40]

So the chick who told you her husband was only ok with her playing with girls ended up in a threesome with your wife and her new guy?

 

Not sure what has happened just yet (if anything yet). I have a feeling that if that were to go down, she would only interact w/my wife, and (knowing what I know of her), she wouldn't do anything w/o hubby being okay with it. She was on the phone w/him at least twice while we were on the ride up there. My wife knows how to avoid drama, and that situation COULD be drama bigtime, so I don't see her crapping the bed for the experience here. We've come a long way, and we're not ruining it while we are still opening up to the whole idea.

[couplers 4,136]

Just remember you don't get to choose who you fall in love with.

 

True, but it doesn't necessarily mean you love your spouse less. Think of all those married vanilla people with someone on the side that never want to leave their spouse. The openess and understanding of what we are doing (and that can include emotional as well as sexual) leads to greater love toward our spouse for us here.

[dulciprajna 40]

Life is really neat, and interesting how chains of events leads to things you would have never seen coming. This weekend was the best damn weekend my wife and I have ever had "being social", in general. She was never much for going out to just be social when we met, and I stressed that I found it important and that our children would not live sheltered from society but socialized to it. Going out, though, to a party is just something we rarely have the opportunity to do, but the night culminated there.

 

I promised details, and I will in this post (though, not exactly direct explicits). When we last left this story, I had heard from my wife that a chance at a threesome was on the table for her, her friend I dropped off with her when I went to get the kids on Friday, and the "boytoy". To help out going forward, I will call wifey = "dulcinea", gf = "Anna" (after Anna Pavlova, the dancer), and boy toy = "Joe" (after Joe Satriani, the guitarist).

 

Okay, so we will start the "perfect date day" with my children being picked up by my mother. We were left w/our oldest child, who was going to go see her father. Dropped her off, then we decided to look into costumes for the evening, as several of the places we were going were going to be costume parties. We find our outfits and head on. I got a costume that my wife has begged me to do for years now, Captain Jack Sparrow. I must say I pulled it off great!

 

After getting the costumes we headed to lunch: hot wings and beer at BWW, which is one of the few bars in town you can smoke in still! After this, we headed back to the house, had some afternoon fun, and took a nap.

 

Woke up at 530, got into our outfits and headed out to the roller derby meet! We got to see a lot of our friends, many whom had been looking for my wife as they had not seen each other in a long while. Anna was one of the "zombie cheerleaders" that was at the bout. We asked her what she was doing afterwards, and she told us of a party she was going to that was 45 mins north of here, but she did not have directions and would not be driving there.

 

So, we left the game w/about 5 minutes left, as it was a blow out by then, and we headed to the Olive Garden for a romantic meal between two pirates (argh!).... Great meal, and we rarely get to go out like this, so we savored this (total foreplay in our minds). We happened to have a waiter who I worked with a few years back, so that was a happy added surprise.

 

Anyhow, we leave and head back to the car to contemplate our options. Option one was to head back to my apartment, and just stay there for the evening. Option two was to go to this party 45 mins north, but we were both now fairly tired.

 

So, I called a friend and asked him for some stuff that would help keep us awake for the evening, and he just happened to be heading to Olive Garden (the Lord provides), so we wait for just about 5-10 mins longer, and he shows up and gives me what we needed.

 

We head back to our apartment, do half of what my friend gave me (waking us up), take the rest with us, and call Anna for directions, as she would be at the party by then. We get directions from a friend of Anna's at the party, and the directions were actually REALLY REALLY good .

 

We show up and head in to find everyone we knew. Within 15 minutes of showing up, we run into Anna and Joe, and we all end up back in our car. The ladies (Dulcinea and Anna) are in the back seat, and Joe and I are in the front (Honda CRV). Almost immediately upon getting into the car, Anna JUMPS Dulcinea! She had been forward with Dulcinea before that, and my original assumption was correct: Anna's hubby had no issues with Anna playing with Dulcinea, but I could not touch (but I was allowed to watch, and that was just fine with me).

 

Joe kinda shocked me, but it makes sense in hindsight. He didn't even really look back at them while they were playing, but made comments from time to time, including, "man... the party is in THIS CAR tonight!!!" which we all chuckled at. However, Joe (knowing that he can play if he wants w/my wife) did not act on this simply because it was my wife that approached him. I believe the one who initiates the whole conversation is generally expected to be the one in control, but Dulcinea is not like that, so Joe instead just looked forward, occasionally looking in the backseat to see the fun going on.

 

What was so beautiful was that first, because of the moon roof, their bodies were drenched in the light of a nearly full moon, so even though its fairly dark in the car, there would be a flash of a tattoo, or a piercing. Granted, I can see great in the dark, so I saw everything happening, but the moonlight made a hot experience that much sexier.

 

This was my wife's cherry for giving oral to another woman, and she greatly loved it. She has always hesitated before to reciprocate in years past when we had played before with couples, but there was zero hesitation here. Dulcinea needed her first (at least) to be with someone who she was familiar with and felt close to was needed for her, and Anna offered just that.

 

To both Dulcinea's and my surprised, Dulcinea giving to Anna was the first time Anna had received from someone she was playing with! The whole situation was magical, and a beautiful thing to witness!

 

We stayed probably another three hours or so after that at this party. Dulcinea and I are not big drinkers, but most everyone else there was getting stupid drunk, so eventually, tired from dancing, singing, fucking (at least for my wife), we left to come back home, showing up here at 430am, spending the next two hours playing in the bedroom together. The whole evening was a total magical experience, and I hope to be able to share in something like that again with me wife as soon as possible.

 

As for Joe, I have a feeling that unless Dulcinea basically grabs him and "Dominates" the whole situation, that will be a long time coming. I know Joe enjoyed being in the car and watching Dulcinea and Anna, but I think he was scared to literally turn around and watch, as though it would be rude, or that a "gentleman" wouldn't do that, kinda thing. It didn't add anything weird in the air.

 

Just whoa-wow-whoa for this experience! We are so thankful that all that came together for us to be able to do that, and our love was not effected negatively about this for anything. I think the closeness we have is one of my biggest driving forces in this open lifestyle idea, and so long as that keeps getting stronger and stronger, and the communication keeps getting better and better, I don't see us moving away from the lifestyle anytime soon.

[MN Tom 251]

Awesome story, thanks for sharing it with us.

[dulciprajna 40]

A couple contacted me on SLS asking if I wanted to play w/them, even though they were 90 mins away by car. I was cool with that (the town I live in has NO ONE playing afaik). Plans were set last weekend, and wifey and I talked about it quite a bit before I went. Everything with us was cool, even excited because of it.

 

I went last night to this. What was supposed to be the couple and up to 6 other guys, I ended up being the only one that showed up, which, tbh, was more comfortable for me. I was exploring two regions of myself I had never explored before: Playing w/o my wife, and playing bi.

 

I ended up having some performance anxiety issues. The couple was great, we had a wonderful time, but I was unable to cum w/o self stimulation, and I had difficulties keeping it up. I am 33, btw...

 

The only other time this has happened is the first few times we played together with other couples.

 

So for those of you who have read this far, how have you overcome "stage fright" and similar? Also, I haven't had need of a condom for 4 years (since I got a vasectomy) and curious if other have had to get over this and how they did?

 

I have been reading quite a bit online about it today, but I would like some direct stories from other swingers as most the info online is not geared towards open relationships and I am sure I am not the only one who has had issues like this when playing...

[couplers 4,136]

I ended up having some performance anxiety issues. The couple was great, we had a wonderful time, but I was unable to cum w/o self stimulation, and I had difficulties keeping it up. I am 33, btw...

 

The only other time this has happened is the first few times we played together with other couples.

 

So for those of you who have read this far, how have you overcome "stage fright" and similar?

 

Hi this is Petra. If either of my guys is having trouble getting it up, I see it as an opportunity to be able to get the entire thing in my mouth and play with it in ways I cannot with an erection. It makes me feel really good to work a soft dick hard, the longer it takes the more the accomplishment!

 

 

As to the second issue, my husband has a great ability for encore erections, three even four, over the course of a night, particularly when with a new pussy. Having an orgasm, however, becomes more difficult with the subsequent episodes. What works for him is gentle nipple stimulation. It has to be just right, but I can always get him off with the right combination of licking, sucking and brushing with my fingers.

 

 

Keep it going and good luck.

[Nauti Rogue 15]

Among the vanilla world, the idea of men being excited about their gf/wives having sex with other men while they watched is taboo. You're nuts if you think that way. But, everybody thinks that men's ultimate fantasies involve having two (or more) women in bed at once.

 

Reality (at least among swingers)? There was a poll here a while back that showed men prefer seeing their wives with another man 2:1 over getting to play with two women.

 

I'm definitely in the former category. It's incredible watching my wife have sex with someone else, and I'm ever glad we went down this road.

 

Wow! That's a statistic that I haven't seen, but I like it! Yeah, I definitely feel the same. It turns me on to no end to see my wife slide another guy's cock into her wet pussy!

 

I also love it when she makes the arrangements for our hookups. It just proves that it's not just me who is into this.

 

Most of my favorite experiences in the lifestyle don't even involve me directly. My hottest experiences in the lifestyle are from her playing alone.

 

There was the night I had to work really, really late on our one kidless weeknight. She went out to dinner and texted me that she had noticed that one of her boyfriends was on IM. I told her to invite him out and that I was fine with whatever happened... They didn't stay long at the restaurant. The last text I received from her that night was that they were at our house playing strip Trivial Pursuit! Needless to say, it was hard to keep my mind on work that night! He had left when I arrived home, but I found her asleep in their sex-tangled sheets. I made sure she came to a full understanding of how she had turned me on!

 

Then there was the time that I was supporting a business function and had to stay overnight in a hotel downtown. It was another of our kidless weeknights, and she wanted to go out to her favorite club. As the club is a 45 minute drive from our home and I knew that alcohol would be a part of her night, I got her a separate hotel room downtown and told her to find a friend to join her at the club. She did and they had a blast! They went back to their hotel room and played all night long while I sat in my hotel room a few blocks away!

 

Yeah, I like it when she plays alone.