Halloween Ball

[Karmickiss]

Hi All,
I'm going to try not to write a book..lol. I wanted to share my experience with going to the first event ever for me, that I rented a room, and that there was these special "intimacy rooms" open till 3am. I'm a single mom of two...and really had to think about it, the expense and getting everything together, it's very difficult for me to spend on myself,especially renting a room anywhere without my kids going, so it was carefully planned.

The people there were amazing. Extremely friendly, and the host couple were quick to identify who I was. The hotel had a restaruant that was affordable and great. I couldn't wait, I started feeling a little strange before going to the dance. My youngest had swine flu, my oldest seemed to have a milder case, and I had felt a little under the weather for a few days, but thought I just wasn't going to get a bad case, that it had been long enough..so initially I didn't think anything about it.

This invite came from not the one club M&G I've gone to before, I don't know how I got on their mailing list but it feels like forever I've been getting invites on and off from them. I had e-mailed the couple before, about reservations, and they got right back to me..though I wonder if that e-mail is only for the LS things, instead of their normal e-mail. This is important, b/c I e-mailed them when I got home..and I hope they get it.

So....There was such a variety of people...oooohh..some really beautiful people in many cases. An older single man came and we had great conversation and danced...the talking was getting things moving for me, if you know what I mean. Then there was a black guy(that's what he called himself, lol) who seemed to know the host couple pretty well, and he came and introduced himself to me, and wanted to make sure I was comfortable, a gentleman, and there was some serious chemistry going on. He asked if I was into black men and told him definately, it's all up to the man inside the skin, I appreciate beauty in all it's forms. A while later he brought over a younger man, who did look nervous, his first event. The guy who brought him over said maybe I cuold take his "virginity"(swinger-wise), and prehaps, if I didn't have other things going on, I could visit his own private party in his room. I knew that I was going up to said room if I didn't find them in the intimacy rooms...lol...So my engine was totally running hot. There were several approachable women, open, I found one was in my area..oh how I wished I had brought pen and paper to the dance part to get contact info! I had no idea I'd need it.

I was getting plenty of attention, and really nice people, but I was noticing something strange, that at first I thought was maybe an anxiety atttack coming on...it felt hard to breathe, but I didn't feel anxious. My throat started hurting..I started feeling dizzy, I had one drink, and thought maybe that was it...but I knew something was wrong. The later it got, the worse I started feeling(typical of any illness, ususally gets worst at night time), and one of the guys I was dancing with felt my cheek and pulled back in alarm, and felt my head....my skin was burning to the touch, and now I was really not feeling right, I started shivering and felt like I was freezing. I went to sit down, and told one guy I had first started chatting with I didn't feel so good, I kind of got a funny look, and he said it's okay if I was interested in others, it's all good. That wasn't it at all(I was interested in several others by this point, lol) I hoped that it didn't seem like I was faking illness to get out of there....never....I would have done anything to not be ill that night...really, just about anything.

I left, and went to my room,I had brought some cough and cold just in case, took all the medicine I had(I only brought a little bit, b/c the most I had felt before this, is slightly run down,little bit of cold symptoms, and it seemed to be getting better), and decided to wait a few minutes for it to kick in. It never did...I swear on all that's holy I've never been so sick in my life, it started to physically hurt to breathe..then I recalled everything the doctor told me when my youngest got the swine flu. I thought I dodged it, but I ended up with the worst case. I was sitting in the bath tub all night and kept adding extremely hot water b/c I felt so cold, my head hurt everytime I coughed, and my lungs still hurt. I know I should have gone to a hospital...but I was so down, so confused. I had the heat cranked up on high, I had two double beds in my room, put all the blankets on the one bed I crawled into. I even prayed to God to please not let me die there, for my kid's sakes.SHIT..now that I think back, I should have called the room number of that man! Damn it! Even though I was so sick, I was also feeling really depressed about it, and if everything happens for a reason, I really hoped there would be a silver lining in this somehow. I'm really down about this, it turned out to be exaclty what I wanted, and I couldn't participate

I wrote to the same address for the host couple...I hope they check it if it's not their primary e-mail..so far I can see the status as 'not yet read'. I explained all....I got so sick there's no way I could have participated...and a very selfish part of me, wished I had had at least a quickie or two before the onset of sickness happened...BUT...more importantly...at that point I knew it had to be swine flu. If I had been able to move around still, it would have been tempting to force myself back in and try to make the best of it...but I was too weak. Also, as I sat there shivering, I thought, there's no way I could have in good conscious been with anyone.....I would never, ever, want to pass on this virus by being intimate with someone.I was so ill I thought I might be dying, and there's no way in hell I'd want to knowingly pass this along to even someone I didn't like, nevermind in this case. I guess in that way it was lucky I dind't have those quickies while I still felt well enough to.

This is just really bumming me out. My only worry before was me starting my period, which I didn't, I never expected this. I'm really sad about it...b/c it will be a hell of a long time before I spend that time and money on myself again(with x-mas and youngest son's birthday coming up, no way, I felt like I wasted funds that could have went on them...though I really had no way of knowing, just still sick and feeling bad)...and to tell the truth, I liked this bunch of people even better than the one club I had gone to, and have yet to go back to. Plus, it's best to have a place to stay when going out like that, and it's over an hour each way(to the one club that I used to go to, that has every weekend something going on)...I dont know, I'm still sick, so please forgive my tales of woe. I'm also incredibly frustrated. If only I were not ill....I know I'd be writing about a LOT of good stuff..it was all heading that way...and I felt in prime condition mentally and emotionally...that's what is so hard to take right now. Sorry so long.....I hope all of you are well....Sincerely, karmic

[SecretAsianMan]

Oiy ... sorry to hear you got sick.

It sounded like a wonderful evening right up until that point through. Oh well ... next time perhaps!

[Karmickiss]

Hey there secertasianman!
I know, I'm really bummed right now, b/c as a single mom...it takes a lot of planning, and juggling of finances to make these kinds of trips....my boys are always numero uno. At least, before it got too bad, I was able to see that..."Oh Yeah! There it is! My sex drive!!" That had a serious jump start before I got real sick. Also, I was able to see that this feeling came with no guilt whatsoever. It's tough to describe, but after losing my partner, I couldn't even "go there"..even with/by myself(I used to love self stimulation, even though I was a late bloomer with that, but just had no urge for the longest time to even touch myself)...but esp. others. I started feeling the urges again after the first year...but for whatever reason, I would end up feeling....guilt really isn't the right word here..it's really not, but some kind of hang up feeling, enough that I just didn't feel my owhn sexuality. This was a strange thing...b/c my drive has always been a high one. It's been three years, over a bit, now...and now it feels like...well, as goofy as it sounds..I can feel him and in my minds eye can see my deceased partner striking a "listen here" pose . How I mean this, is knowing him like I did...he'd have wanted for me to not stop being the sensual creature I am. We really did have the "best" sex life..and I didn't want to feel like he was being "replaced".

So at least now, and with the help of this board, really...I've been able to finish the turn around that I started...and instead of a hang up feeling, I feel encouraged and like a kid in a candy shop....this I can say in all honesty. I hope there is a next time....but probably not until these holidays are over..I don't know..I'm pretty ill right now..so am getting a little foggy in the mind...so I'll end here. Thanks for posting..I appreciate it... Sincerely, karmic

[bbarnsworth]

Karmic, there's been threads on here before about swinging and being sick. The general gist of those threads has been when you think you're sick, don't swing. It can be a real downer; lots of plans get tossed sometimes. I know it was a long time coming, and you were anticipating the weekend so much. I'm sorry it worked out the way that it did. I certainly wouldn't read anything negative into the illness coming on when it did (not that you did or are; just saying).

It's great things started off so well! There will be a next time. Count on it! And, next time, bring a pen and pad of paper

I'm sorry your kids are sick; mine are too (though not with H1N1). Hope you all feel better soon!

[Alura]

What a pity that this carefully planned and strongly looked-forward-to event had to turn out this way, Karmic. Having traveled for many years on business I know how bad it is to be sick alone in a hotel room with no loving person to bring you water and aspirin. I'm so sorry it happened to you.

I assume you are back at home by now and wondering how you got there. Were you able to drive on Sunday morning?

Are you feeling better now? I think we're all concerned about you.

Mr. Alura

[Karmickiss]

HI All,
Thanks for as usual, being so good to me.... Actually, it's funny that the drive home was mentioned. I had a scare on a major highway, OK..a couple of them. I was just feeling so sick, this dizziness and headaches caused some difficulty. I bought some cough/cold stuff before getting on the road to home, and I think it mixed strangely with some regular medicines I'm on. So, there were a couple times I swerved a bit towards the guard rail, and once into another lane. It scared the heck out of me, like nodding out a little at the wheel. So I ended up opening all windows in the car the get the fresh air moving around in there, and even talking loudly to self to keep myself fully alert feeling...lol...it's kind of funny now...what was that line in the movie "Planes Trains and Automobiles"? "We can laugh about it now, we're alright!"?

I'm sure a next time will happen, even if it's hard to see right now. I wish I could have got a e-mail back from the host couple...but I don't think it's their addy. I am at least glad that I was fully aware that I was still ill....b/c honeslty, I would have felt really really bad about spreading the virus unknowingly...just wished it had manifested earlier...but I can at least be grateful I didn't have to spread the misery.

Thanks for the replies....think I have to go and try recalling the old doctor...I'm wishing all of you a great day....Sincerely, karmic

[SecretAsianMan]

Keeping a notepad handy - while it makes sense is usually pretty awkward.

I've had people hand me "business-cards" with their information on it to contact them later... and even a couple of folk who had their cell-phones to take down my email address / facebook / contact information.

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by SecretAsianMan

Keeping a notepad handy - while it makes sense is usually pretty awkward.

Women tend to carry around this amazing thing called a "purse" that can hold a notepad and pen

A local swing club of ours has a table in the large play area where there are always pens and paper available. Nice idea

[xxxboxy]

I laughed out loud at the idea that you can't carry a notepad and a pen but you can carry a cell phone or a deck of business cards.

[SecretAsianMan]

((*shrug*)) ... I dunno how that worked where they had cell phones or business cards in their possession that night but there was no paper-pen combo to be found. It's just what I've run into. ...weird, huh?