..and some might ask, why I didn't run screaming.

[SecretAsianMan]

Thinking back on one of my earliest experiences - I've had several friends comment, "Why'd you ever go back to this lifestyle?"

Very early on... as I was just discovering the swinger-lifestyle, I searched around for local groups in my area. Discovered one (which I shall leave un-named) and chatted a bit with the gal who hosted the group.

She let me know that she was going to be having a hotel-party a few weeks later and I was invited. There was a small donation required to attend... but I was okay with that - considering it was a hotel and those costs had to be offset somehow, right?

So, I arrived ... and things were fairly... ahem... intimidating.

Not only was the party fairly packed with lots of other guys... most of them were rather ...ahem... large black men. And it seemed as though they all knew each other - then I noticed, the porno playing on the TV ... and the fellas in the movie were the same guys there at the party!

Lemme tell y'all... a small asian guy (I'm only 5' 8") in a room full of black men at a swingers party?? Damn, I felt like every bad stereotype in the universe was working against me that evening.

I didn't know anyone there... so I pretty much kept to myself. I struck up a few conversations with some of the gals there... but was too scared to step up and do much of anything else.

Finally, it started getting close to the end of the night - I stuck around and chatted with a few folk (including one gal who basically told everyone flat out - if they ain't got at least 10", don't even bother her) ... and one of the gals at the party noticed that I hadn't played at all that evening.

I explained how it was my first time... how nervous I was... and she was very kind and took me off to a private room where she gave me a blowjob and we played for a little bit.

I think if that gal hadn't come to me that night... I probably would never have gone back to another hotel party again.

Sadly, I've lost track of that gal - and never did get the chance to explain how much her friendliness and warmth meant towards giving this lifestyle a second chance ... or a third... or a fourth... or how being a part of this has been a great experience and how many friends it has provided me over the years.

[sweet_tna]

And that's just it, isn't it? If you can find something positive to take away from the experience, then it was worth it.

Maybe someday you'll run into her again and be able to thank her properly.

=)

[LFM2]

You know, sadly, I think a lot of swingers start out like the way you did. We're drawn to a party where we know absolutely not one soul and then some sweet person strikes up a conversation and then it's all downhill from there. It's a damn good thing that there are people out there that are like that.

We were pretty much the same way at our first party. We knew nobody, but there is a very extroverted guy that attends these parties and he introduces everyone to everyone and then, the good times roll. If we know just one person at a shindig that they can talk to, it's much easier to come to the next one.

I think it's great that you took that away from the party instead of remembering how intimidating you felt when you're around these huge men who you knew nothing about. It makes the next parties so much more fun.

S.A.M... You're invited to any of our parties any time!!

[Farcanal]

I have never experienced anything like that SAM, glad it took the right turn for you.

There is a problem (that I have experienced) with a language barrier at foreign parties. Might come as a surprise to some that not everyone in the world speaks English

That can be a bit daunting but usually one can work through it. Just smile and be friendly and go with the flow!

[Chicup]

I think the moral of the story is if you are ever surrounded by large black men, a blowjob will make it all better.

I hope I got that right

[SecretAsianMan]

Originally Posted by Chicup

I think the moral of the story is if you are ever surrounded by large black men, a blowjob will make it all better.

I hope I got that right

*laughing* ... well, not QUITE what I was going for - since I get a weird prison shower scene in my head when I read that the first time - but, well... I don't see how getting a blowjob would HURT the situation, eh?

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by Farcanal

Might come as a surprise to some that not everyone in the world speaks English

BREAKING NEWS: English has been declared the official language of the lifestyle the world over. If you do not speak English, you will not be permitted to play.

We expect this to go over as well as a similar pronouncement from the LPGA. Stay tuned

[Mr.Essex]

Originally Posted by SecretAsianMan

Thinking back on one of my earliest experiences - I've had several friends comment, "Why'd you ever go back to this lifestyle?"

Very early on... as I was just discovering the swinger-lifestyle, I searched around for local groups in my area. Discovered one (which I shall leave un-named) and chatted a bit with the gal who hosted the group.

She let me know that she was going to be having a hotel-party a few weeks later and I was invited. There was a small donation required to attend... but I was okay with that - considering it was a hotel and those costs had to be offset somehow, right?

So, I arrived ... and things were fairly... ahem... intimidating.

Not only was the party fairly packed with lots of other guys... most of them were rather ...ahem... large black men. And it seemed as though they all knew each other - then I noticed, the porno playing on the TV ... and the fellas in the movie were the same guys there at the party!

Lemme tell y'all... a small asian guy (I'm only 5' 8") in a room full of black men at a swingers party?? Damn, I felt like every bad stereotype in the universe was working against me that evening.

I didn't know anyone there... so I pretty much kept to myself. I struck up a few conversations with some of the gals there... but was too scared to step up and do much of anything else.

Finally, it started getting close to the end of the night - I stuck around and chatted with a few folk (including one gal who basically told everyone flat out - if they ain't got at least 10", don't even bother her) ... and one of the gals at the party noticed that I hadn't played at all that evening.

I explained how it was my first time... how nervous I was... and she was very kind and took me off to a private room where she gave me a blowjob and we played for a little bit.

I think if that gal hadn't come to me that night... I probably would never have gone back to another hotel party again.

Sadly, I've lost track of that gal - and never did get the chance to explain how much her friendliness and warmth meant towards giving this lifestyle a second chance ... or a third... or a fourth... or how being a part of this has been a great experience and how many friends it has provided me over the years.

That's ironic. My first partner was a Chinese woman who was born and raised in France. She introduced me to the lifestyle, by inviting me to a party with a 80% Asian, 15% White, 5% Black racial breakdown. Yes, I was the sole Black man in attendence. And yes, the Black female wanted nothing to do with me. But I did get a sympathy pantsless lapdance from a cute Viet lady, so it ended on a high note.

[Chris&Amelia]

Originally Posted by Chicup

I think the moral of the story is if you are ever surrounded by large black men, a blowjob will make it all better.

I guess it really matters who the blowjob comes from.

[realcplub2]

SAM, thank you for sharing that..

We never went that route, for sort of the same reasons.. The idea scared (translation-She found the idea erotic but wouldnt admit it until much later) the hell out of my wife.

We were invited to a number of hotel parties over the years up north (NY).. but never went.. Instead, heard horror stories ( a drunk woman, getting randy, then sobering up enough to realise what was going on and Screaming Rape ) from a person that attended and that was the end of the discussion..

What is truly amazing is, given the stories we all hear of awkward starts, that the "lets try this again " comes thru..

[SecretAsianMan]

It's the "saving grace" of those people at the party who really make it a warm & welcome experience for us newbies... or the sheer determination of us who want to be in the lifestyle who think that awkward/bad first time out was just a fluke and we want to try it again (just to make sure we really didn't like it!) ***laughing***

[Chris&Amelia]

Sorry SAM, but I keep thinking about a certain joke every time I read this thread...

(slightly modified to keep it barely on-topic)


A guy ends up being convicted of multiple white-collars crimes, from forgery, fraud, and computer crimes. He ends up being sentenced to a couple of years at the state penitentiary.

He's understandably nervous. He's an average-sized guy, a 5'8" Asian dude, and he's heard all the stories about what happens in prison with sex-deprived inmates.

His worse nightmares seems to come true when he's assigned to share a cell with a 6'4" 325 lbs. African-American man. He's all bulging muscles. So our hero walks into the cell, with the black guy just staring him down.

Finally, his cell-mate speaks. "You wanna be the husband or you wanna be the wife?" The Asian guy, thinking he caught a lucky break, replied "Why, I'll be the husband!"

"Fine," says his cell-mate "then get down here AND SUCK YOUR WIFE'S DICK!"