Non Swingers 2nd trip to a Swing Club

[cassies]

So first question: If we aren't swingers then why are we going to a Swing Club? Maybe one of us is curious about being a swinger and the other is going because she likes her husband, but we both understand our rules.

This was much more fun than the first time we went about two years ago. Then we were very nervous. It was hard to be comfortable.

We arrived at the club just in time for the amateur strip tease, and as it turns out a raffle for July birthdays which I won, so if we go back to the club, our next trip will be free.

The strip teases were mostly amateur and quite entertaining, as we had arrived later, our vantage point was so-so. I didn't mind though, as my sweetie was having a good time. I found a chair, and she sat in my lap and watched the show.

Afterwards we danced for almost an hour, greatly enjoying the highly sexualized atmosphere of the dance floor. There were actually people fucking on the balcony above us, with her leg over the balcony rail. Even more fun were the two tall attractive women in their underwear dancing and rubbing their bodies together. They attracted a lot of attention.

Over the course of the evening we identified two different couples we wanted to get to know better. However 1, being shy, and 2, not really knowing if we are even up for the softest of soft swinging, we have a hard time talking to either of these couples.

Being shy is more than sufficient reason for inaction, but meanwhile I don't want to put my sweetie in a situation that she doesn't want. I think she might be up for some touching, maybe a little girl girl play. Maybe? I only want to push her the slightest, slightest bit, and I am not that deft.

So we head up to the play area, and man is it crowded up there. There's probably 80 people up there fucking or talking about fucking or kind of fucking or crowding the hallway. None of the private areas are available. We weren't planning on playing, but we probably would have cuddled at least. And to be honest, it's kind of tough to go into a room where people are having an orgy, and cuddle.

So we went back downstairs, which I think is a more public play area, but it was much less crowded, and we cuddled and fondled each other there while listening to people have sex.

So we went back upstairs, because it is I who have the groupsex fantasy, and if we aren't going to have groupsex, then at least we can watch it while we are at the swing club, yes?

Who can say. It feels awkward as all get out.

We did see one of the two couples that we wanted to talk to earlier. And they were even more attractive fucking. We watched them for a minute or two. I would have liked to watch them longer, but I did not know how to find out if it was ok with them that we watched. I mean it didn't seem appropriate to ask them while they were fucking.

So we left.

Oh but good news. On the way out we ran into the other couple that we were attracted to, and we chatted with them briefly.

Ideally I would have been able to say something like, "Hey we really enjoyed your guys' strip tease, and I know you are planning on having six orgasms tonight cause I overheard you talking about it, but I was hoping I could get your e-mail addresses so we could maybe chat in the future about light petting." I said the first seven words, and they said "Thanks."

So I had a good time, and my sweetie did too. But she didn't like going upstairs so much -- too crowded, and as long as we were there, she wanted to watch that other couple more.

[lotsoffun201]

Great post for many reasons....

We started out at the wife's request. She had some Bi experiences before we met and wanted to go to a local club one night. We didn't do anything that night other than watch. We went again and again several more times and things progressed to soft swing and FF.

After the birth of our son, things tapered off a lot for years, and only recently did things start to pick up again. While we are not an every weekend type of couple, we have to be in the mood. I discovered an off premises club locally that has parties at nightclubs with an afterparty most evenings. We started to go to these and found out a couple of things:

1. She likes to dress up in provocative dress
2. She likes to dance seductively
3. If there is a couple or single that we are both interested in we will play, if not we sometimes attend the afterparty and play alone.
4. The parties are really a good entertainment value and the whole evening including a sitter is usually less than $100.

[JTcamp05]

Interesting post..... We have run into couples just like yourselves before. The guy is dragging the wife along and she is passive enough to attend. They socialize with you and for lack of a better word lead you on. Everyone has to start somewhere, but be upfront with the couple's you want to get to know better about what your sitituation really is. Many will understand, and you wont be waisting your time and there's.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by JTcamp05

Interesting post..... We have run into couples just like yourselves before. The guy is dragging the wife along and she is passive enough to attend. They socialize with you and for lack of a better word lead you on. Everyone has to start somewhere, but be upfront with the couple's you want to get to know better about what your sitituation really is. Many will understand, and you wont be waisting your time and there's.

Unfortunatley, this is too true. From what you have posted, Cassies, it sounds like the two of you need to do a lot of really serious talking. She's not comfortable with some things, and you need to work with her comfort zone. One of the key tenants of swinging (at all) is that you move at the pace of the SLOWEST person. And as JTCamp said, don't go wasting other people's time. They are all there to have fun and meet people who are ready to play on their level, if you KNOW you aren't ready to play at their level, leave them be till you are. Until then, sit back and enjoy. The fact that you can actually feel comfortable making out and cuddling in a room where others are having sex is a good thing. It's a good place to start. Most don't mind others watching them so long as they can do at least that. As I posted in your other thread tho, if you can't feel comfortable with each other while in the room watching other people, then don't go in. Your discomfort will be noticed and it WILL affect everyone else's vibe. If she's not comfortable in the orgy rooms, it will affect the orgy and the good time that everyone else WAS having before you walked in.

Just go and do what you are BOTH comfortable with. If you want more then talk to her about it, don't push her or prod her at the club to go do something that she isn't comfortable doing so that she ends up doing it just to NOT make a scene or have you looking like a pitiful puppy dog.

[Pepper & Drew]

Being an ultra-soft couple at an on-premise club is like going to an open house just to see the inside. Be upfront about the fact that you're just looking. That way, couples who are looking to swap won't get disappointed if after spending a lot of time with you, they realize that you're not looking to "buy".

I also think you should stop thinking about what your wife might be up for and start talking to her to find out for sure. She may have a totally different idea about what she does or does not want to do than you think she does.

Pepper

[lifestyler]

Interesting, we are a couple who want to go to a club for the first time without the pressure of having to 'get involved' on the first occasion. partner and I have had a few MFM with a golfing buddy but would prefer a party atmosphere as a prelude to any activity, soft or full swing. We are British and going to Florida soon and would welcome recommendations of a decent club we could visit. Although we would be 'club virgins', we are comfortable with each other getting involved with others sexually in a relaxed and party atmosphere, same room or not.

Look forward to responses.

J&K

[CPL4XTCY]

Glad to hear you had a great time. House parties are always a blast because of the free sexual spirits that swingers & voyeurs bring to the party. We meet all types when attending house parties and your kind is not unwelcome at all.

I do agree with the other posters, if you get into a conversation with others who are there to swing, be upfront and let them know you are just looking to watch and not participate. Very frustrating when another couple puts a lot of energy into making a connection when there was never a chance.
We've been on this end multiple times and are always bummed out beacause of the effort we put into making each connection.

[BiloxiCouple]

On talking to other couples. Let them know up front if ya'll are going to play or watch or whatever. If they are looking for a swap they may not want spend alot of time chatting with no possibility of swapping. Especially if ya'll don't want to swap. Their time is valuable too.

[cassies]

Hey Lotsoffun, Thanks for your suggestion, I think an off premises site is a great idea.

And JTcamp, I don't doubt that you've run into couples like us before, but the one you described doesn't accurately reflect us. Though I did say my sweetie was going because she likes me; I didn't drag her along, and she is not passive. She actually suggested going this time. I am sorry you have had your time wasted by posers.

Julie, I love your site. There is so much helpful advice here. I sure don't want to manipulate my sweetie into doing anything she doesn't want. Not to worry as my puppy dog eye trick hasn't worked in a decade.

Pepper and Biloxi, IF we manage to be social with other people next time we go to a swing club, I promise you that other couple will know very quickly what our limits are.

Being shy was the main reason we didn't talk to anyone (other than the one couple as we were leaving), but another reason was not knowing exactly what we wanted. As the night wore on, we talked about what we might want. And Cassie said she might be up for some touching, so we were communicating. So now I know that.

To be honest, I don't know what I want for certain. I know what my fantasies are, but I don't really know if I want to pursue them. I do know I am not doing anything Cassie doesn't want.

And CPL4XTCY thanks for saying our energy is welcome. I have to say we felt very welcome at New Horizons, and from the looks of it there were many active swingers there.

Bob

[vewybadcpl]

Originally Posted by lifestyler

Interesting, we are a couple who want to go to a club for the first time without the pressure of having to 'get involved' on the first occasion. partner and I have had a few MFM with a golfing buddy but would prefer a party atmosphere as a prelude to any activity, soft or full swing. We are British and going to Florida soon and would welcome recommendations of a decent club we could visit. Although we would be 'club virgins', we are comfortable with each other getting involved with others sexually in a relaxed and party atmosphere, same room or not.

Look forward to responses.

J&K

Well we have been to 2 clubs in the Miami/Fort Lauderdale area. Additionally I was a frequent member of a club in Tampa and one in Miami. Of the 4 I have personally experienced I would suggest either the Pleasure Palace in Tampa or Club Hedonism in Fort Lauderdale.Club Hedonism was nice and relaxed the night we were there. Great atmosphere for enjoying and meeting people. The Pleasure Palace can go from relaxed on during the week to pretty wild Friday and Saturday. The last 2, Trapeze in Fort Lauderdale and Miami Velvet in Miami are what we call "professional" clubs. This is where a lot of the more "experienced" ready to meet and get to know one another quickly before playing crowd can be found. These 2 would be more, crowded, loud, and where you might find " a little less talk and a lot more action".While I never felt pressured at any of the clubs, "Hedonism" and the Pleasure Palace would be where I would recommend for newcomers. There is another interesting club we plan to check out in Tampa called Night Moves II. We are going to check it out but since I haven't been there I couldn't actually recommend it myself.I hope this helps. If you have any more questions, I would be more than happy to try and answer any questions you might have.

Mr. Badcpl

[yogee]

Its great that you have clubs over there, In India, we don't have such clubs . Regarding Cassies, I think both of them should be more open and broad in talking with each other. First talk, decide and then go to the club. If they were not prepared at first time, then they can go again and see the atmosphere and spend time, do it 3-4 times and after that I am sure everything will be fine. You will like this lifestyle. Just don't forget to do communication with each other.