My Journey

[AZ Dreaming]

I am sure that I won’t put this into writing as well as some of the other board member could, but it is something that has been running through my mind in the last few days.

We started on this road about 11-12 years ago. I have been the one with the slow pace. As a women brought up in a house where sex was NEVER talked about I had a hard time opening up about my fantasies.

We made slow progress together with my hubby being very understanding. Over the years we had a few encounters with another couple, soft swap only. Then came some MFM’s. All the while taking time off for me to work through my issues. ( I hate that word) :rollseyes

At one point we tried the online thing and meet one couple who I explored my Bi side with. It was fun and we both had a great time but again time for a break.

Then a few years ago we moved back to another couple and soft swap again. Very slowly as my comfort level grew we advanced to full swap. Then after investing a lot of time with this couple the wife turned into a nut case and we had to totally walk away.

We then decide that we really wanted to get into this more so we joined Swing Lifestyle and have been meeting couples for about 8 months. Have had some great times!

I will get to the point. It has taken me all this time to get over the way I was brought up, societies views of women’s sexuality, and all of my “issues”. I am a little irritated with the whole thing because I feel like I have wasted so many years working through this instead of being healthy, happy, sexual women.

My husband has been nothing but GREAT, he always let me work through it at my own pace. Aside from a couple of stupid man moments.

I just feel like I wish that I could have the peace and confidence in myself that I have now, back when we started out. Oh and I wish I could have this right mind set with my younger body back then also!

I guess what I am trying to say is I have some regret that it has taken me so long to get where I am now. I know from reading others posts here that there are a few women who have had a total turn around like me. I started out being the jealous if my hubby looking at another women wife. Now I am the Hey Hun don’t ya want to fuck her? wife.

I don’t mean to ramble so but it is really hard for me to put all my thoughts on this into writing. I just was hoping that by starting this thread, we as women could talk about how we have changed starting into this lifestyle. I just want to help others not have such a long and painful journey as I
have.

I have learned so much from this board by reading all of your posts and hearing about all the different experiences, though I think Chipup would classify me as a lurker. Thank you!

[edmustang]

Just feel happy that you have worked through it. A lot of people never get over the brainwashing they receive as children. I, myself, am still working on certain motivation issues due to my parents not pushing me to excel when I was young. It sucks!

[stellamay]

I really enjoyed your post! I am in my mid to later thirties and my husband and I are exploring this new lifestyle. Enjoyed reading your journey

[jjtrindc]

Everybody's journey is different. My wife and I have been there on and off for nearly 6 years, and ours continue to this date Life is a journey. Swinging is no different. As long as you are happy and proud in yourself, your marriage, your life...then what it took to get there doesn't matter in the least. You have a great husband. Go give him a big kiss for no reason at all.

[fun4Ds]

It appears that like us, your journey has been well worth your time.

Thats the reward for us..... understanding ourselves and each other more.

Thank you, for sharing your thoughts. Your very inspirational on a day like this

[lustylearning]

Yes and yes, AZ. You're not alone in that "if I knew then what I know now" feeling. As women in this society, we are taught that only "bad" girls enjoy sex because sex is "dirty," and washing away that film for many of us is a long, painstaking process. Hubby adds that men have programming to get beyond as well, otherwise they'd never have a problem "getting it up" in the lifestyle.

Don't feel like you wasted your time - you weren't ready. Be grateful you have what you have. You've already been fortunate enough to experience things that most people never will. From a fellow 38-year-old on your same journey, cheers! and bon appetit

[yogee]

Originally Posted by AZ Dreaming

I am sure that I won’t put this into writing as well as some of the other board member could, but it is something that has been running through my mind in the last few days.

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I have learned so much from this board by reading all of your posts and hearing about all the different experiences, though I think Chipup would classify me as a lurker. Thank you!

What a brilliant explanation and the learning experience. I enjoyed and learned about some aspects of women from you. I feel so happy when w woman like you explores herself to her true self

There is a very old Indian Saying that if you want a woman to marry, then find one of your friends who are like your dream woman and ask her to search for you and she will surely find one you in much less time than your parents will take .

So, I say... hey AZ Dreaming, my friend, can you find a girl for me to marry who is like you

[realcplub2]

Az, Life is not a destination but a journey

Its along the road that we learn more, more about ourselves and about the world in general.

We all hear the old phrase, If only i knew now, what i knew when I was 20 years old..

But thats the point, You couldnt, Cant, and really SHOULDNT..

Or to turn one of my favorite movie lines..

If you give em all the answers, they dont learn nothin

The only thing I wish I knew when I was 20, that i didnt know then was .. THE RIGHT LOTTO numbers for the 375 million dollar jackpot.. Beyond that, while parts suck, the journey, really hasnt.

And thats the true meaning of life..