Swinging Nightmares

[Vespertine]

I've had a horrible feeling all morning over a dream I had last night.

In my dream, my husband and I were at a private party. At the party, people paired up and went off into seperate rooms. My husband and I and a single female were left in the main living room.

The woman is giving subtle hints to my husband that she wants to play around. However, she avoids any eye contact with me. My husband whispers into my ear that he'd like to play with this woman, and I agree. Though when my husband gets up to meet this woman and go to a different room, it seems I am not included in these plans.

For some reason, I'm unable to verbalize that I'm unhappy with the arrangement. It seems a normal thing, in this dream, for him to go off and play without me. Like if I protested, it would be in very poor taste. I try to peek into the room they're in to watch and see what is happening. But everytime I get a view, they notice I'm watching and stop playing.

I finally speak to my husband and tell him I'd be more comfortable if I could watch them. He says it's okay, but the woman is very uncomfortable. He needs to coax her to continue on. In my dream, I'm full of so much rage and hatred and jealousy. The dream kind of ends there, with me watching them and feeling horrible.....


I wake up PISSED at my husband!

As I lay in bed this morning, I decide I don't want to swing anymore. I feel like total shit. Hurt, jealous and insecure.

Over a dream.

When my husband and I play, there's no jealousy at all. In fact, I prefer FMF play because I enjoy watching my husband with another woman. That's the reason we got into swinging. In fact, as many of you know, I was the one to initiate swinging in the first place.

Today, I keep thinking back on past playdates. Visually remembering him being with another woman is killing me. The acts I'm remembering that turned me on so much when they were happening are infuriating me today. I'm a ball of jealous fury.

Anyone ever wake up one morning with Post Traumatic Swing Disorder?


Will this go away???

[Denver2some]

Hmm. this is an interesting one. I've never had a dream about swinging, good or bad. Mr D2S has had plenty of good dreams, but no nightmares.

I imagine that having such a vivid dream about a bad swinging experience would bring up many of the same feelings one gets after an actual bad swinging experience: hurt, anger, and the "is this really for us?" question. So that could certainly make you review past experiences in a more critical light, temporarily at least. That seems natural to me.

Intellectually you are aware the dream wasn't real, and you know that normally you like watching him with other ladies. So I think it will pass pretty quickly.

That sucks!!

Can't say I can relate to what you are saying so my advice may be a bit flawed:

You Must swing again to try and get over this dream!!

What ever you do, do not hold past expereinces that you guys had against him now as jealousy. If it was Okay then, then it has to remain that way!!

[OpenVA]

Well iit definitly sounds as if there is soemthing you 2 need to talk about. Try talking the dream over with him. I had a similar dream once , similiar in the fact that I woke up pissed at my wife, and I was all day. I'm glad I was able to stay focused on the fact that it was a dream, other wise things could have been really ugly. The only thing that seemed to help was talking the dream over with her.


Could it be that you might be feeling that you are not getting enough attention lately? Maybe it's just a manifestation of the fear of being that jealous and insecure? only way to find out is talk it over.

[lizandtom]

In my opinion dreams have no relevence to real life desires nor avoidances. Are you experiencing a ladies mid life crisis (no idea how old you are) because they say men get distinguished with age but women just age? (I personally don't agree with this; I find many older women attractive moreso than younger in many cases). I've got to ask the same question as OpenVA in that perhaps you're not getting enough attention, and also agree that you should tell your s.o. how you're feeling. It doesn't sound as though you need to stop having fun though, because it's not like you've been shut out or avoided in any way. Do you and are you asked to participate with those your s.o. plays with? Happy New Year.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

You Must swing again to try and get over this dream!!

We have swing-plans for the New Year. My birthday is January 1st, so we usually celebrate BIG.

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

What ever you do, do not hold past expereinces that you guys had against him now as jealousy. If it was Okay then, then it has to remain that way!!

OMG, I never would! Poor guy, I can't blame him for my imaginary jealousy!

Originally Posted by OpenVA

Could it be that you might be feeling that you are not getting enough attention lately?

You're probably right. Things have been hectic around our house lately. Too much going on and not enough 'alone' time. There's In-Laws and children everywhere...

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by Denver2some

So I think it will pass pretty quickly.

I dunno. It's been six and a half hours so far.....

I'm sure it will pass.

I was just wondering if anyone else ever felt an eruption of insecurity (out of the blue) over swinging before when none was warranted. Feeling like this is usually against my nature, so it's puzzling me.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by lizandtom

. Are you experiencing a ladies mid life crisis (no idea how old you are) because they say men get distinguished with age but women just age? (I personally don't agree with this; I find many older women attractive moreso than younger in many cases).

I'll be 33 in a few days. I don't think the mid-life crisis is coming yet...

Originally Posted by lizandtom

Do you and are you asked to participate with those your s.o. plays with? Happy New Year.

Oh definitely! If anything, my husband bends over backwards to make sure I'm comfortable. He prefers me to be the one to initiate any playtime and make first contact with potentials.

Happy New Year to you too!

[good times]

First Ves, I have to say I am very disapointed that I wasn't in your dream.

Just kidding.

I have had some strange dreams involving swinging before and have even woke up in a weird mood from them although I don't recal ever waking up mad (usually just pitching a tent......probably TMI). The feelings seem to go away for me pretty quick to the point that a day later I usually can't even remember what the dream was about.

I think i agree with the naughties though, you need to jump right back on the horse. I suspect you will find it has no effect on how you feel once you start playing again.

[lizandtom]

Vespertine, sorry I didn't read your profile before posting earlier; I was just kinda brainstorming. No, definitely not a midlife crisis at 33, lol ; although I don't know what you look like, your body picture is smokin!

[NakedInSeattle]

Vesper - Dreams are either a manifestation of something we want or something we fear. Obviously this is something you fear or do not want to happen. I think that if you talk it over with the Mr, it will further emphasize to him that this is an unacceptable situation and if he loves you (as I think he does), he will assure you that this will never happen and it will allay your fears. Good luck and go play tomorrow night. We will be!

[OpenVA]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

Things have been hectic around our house lately. Too much going on and not enough 'alone' time. There's In-Laws and children everywhere...

That'll do it...

It took me a couple of days to shake the feelings from the dream off... It was that vivid

[growgirl]

A dream like that, where someone you know acts in a totally unexpected and totally unlike them way always sticks around for me much much longer. Whether its about sex or children or boating, it's harder for me to shake my emotions after such a dream.

It'll pass... don't strain your brain too much...

GG's .02

[EvilMJ]

Vespertine,

Yeah, I've had some pretty horrible dreams about swinging.

In one I was involved in a threesome with my hubby and the hubby of the couple we play with. It was fine when suddenly some strange woman joins in, everyone seems to be okay with this, but I am really uncomfortable, especially after she starts to pay attention only to my hubby.

The other husband wants me to continue playing with him but I am just too upset and not interested in him at all. I tell my hubby that I feel like they are too wrapped up with each other and it makes me very uncomfortable. He thinks I am wrong but starts including me in the fun, suddenly they are turning their attention on each other again and at every chance trying to play just by themselves.

I woke up like you...completely pissed at hubby and feeling completely hurt.

However, I just told hubby about it and he reassured me that it was just a dream and I know in my heart that he would never do that to me. Then we did go back to swinging. It's all good again.

Give things a chance, I think you will be okay. SOmetimes dreams can leave you with very powerful feelings.

[looking2swing]

I am going to have to agree that with all of the children and the in-laws, you probably didn't get the attention that you deserve. Have a happy birthday!!