Swinging Nightmares

[warkman]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

I think you're on to something, SluttyWife! My husband said the same thing. He thinks the dream was because I subconsciously have a fear of losing him. My father passed-away this month, and I really had a hard time coming to terms with this loss. My husband made an appointment for us with a life inurance agent a day or so before the dream too...so I'm sure that got the wacky dream wheel turning in my head.

I agree. Losing close loved ones is traumatic. Although we all intellectually know of that eventuality,nothing can really prepare you for it emotionally. Losing a parent is a monumental thing. I lost my sister and mother to cancer 7 and 5 years ago respectively. I still cope with fear of loss issues on a daily basis. I just took out a long term care insurance policy and I've been having some pretty disturbing thoughts/dreams too. You seem to have a very supportive husband and that should help get you through this. Timing seems about right to me for this stuff to be working its way to the surface after the initial shock. It was about a month ago wasn't it--or a little less?

[curious_in_ont]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

I was just wondering if anyone else ever felt an eruption of insecurity (out of the blue) over swinging before when none was warranted.

I'm so glad I read this thread today.....This totally describes how I have been feeling - all day yesterday - in fact I even stated to my hubby, I wish I could remember my dreams last night, because I sure woke up upset & confused...I then proclaimed "I'm" finished with this lifestyle, and sorry hon, that "I" is really "WE", then I was left with the delima of how do I explain this to our "play couple" Feeling even more upset because now I've gone from being so much fun to being the "funsucker".
So the answer to your question is "yes" some people, me for example do have these feelings now and then. Will this go away? Can't answer for you, but communication is the answer. You and your hubby will figure this out together. Hubby and I had to really communicate and do some soul searching. The answer we came up with is similar to yours....too much going on, lives extremely busy, and the four of us haven't seen each other very much, plus I think there was the added bonus of hormones.(PMS)Thank you for giving this "problem" a name, Post Traumatic Swing Disorder. This site is so helpful, I'm glad we found it....the Mrs.

[midnight hour]

Both Mr. Midnight and I have had these dreams, before we even started swinging and after...I think it is just common..and usually if you think of it it does happen when the other is not around...Mr. Midnight was a OTR for lots of years and it both triggered these dreams in us...I had one not so long ago but it was not about swinging...he asked for a divorce and then told me about all the women he had cheated with..roflmao..needless to say I was pissed at him when I woke up..but he broke the mood by asking who they were in case he had a chance with any of them...LOL

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by midnight hour

..but he broke the mood by asking who they were in case he had a chance with any of them...LOL

Men are all the same!

When I was telling my husband about my dream, he wanted to know if the other woman was hottie.

[DBL D]

Mrs. Midnight:

"..but he broke the mood by asking who they were in case he had a chance with any of them...LOL"

Very good!!! How often does he think on his feet like that?

All of the Swinging Dreams I've had have been very pleasant.

Male D

[JustAskJulie]

I've had some dreams like this, never about swinging that I can remember... but dreams where I've woken up still pissed off at someone for something that happened in the dream.

[DBL D]

How did you handle it, Julie?

Male D

[findtime]

I find that when my husband and I are at our closest we have the best experiences with swinging.

I'm sure it has something to do with the level of intimacy. For us, our relationship comes first and if we've neglected each other in any way for any length of time small insecurities set in and we know we need to reconnect. This can happen so easily when life gets in the way and it sounds like your life has been a little hectic lately.

It's easier to share when you know he's all yours. Know what I mean?

Best wishes.

[confunktion]

Hey Vespertine (or She-Ra):

You know, dreams are almost always not what they seem to be. The true meaning of a dream is in the symbolism of the people, places, and things in the dream, not necessarily the "face value". You might want to do some research and see what the dream meant. Knowing the true message of the dream may alleviate any feelings of jealousy that still linger. I'm gonna analyze the dream with my handy-dandy dream book just for fun. Let me know if you're interested in my results.

Mr. Funk
A human Dreamcatcher, only without the feathers

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by confunktion

I'm gonna analyze the dream with my handy-dandy dream book just for fun. Let me know if you're interested in my results.

Mr. Funk
A human Dreamcatcher, only without the feathers

Anyalyze away, baby!

I'd love to see what you cum up with!


BTW, the feelings did pass, and life's the usual again.

[confunktion]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

Anyalyze away, baby!

I'd love to see what you cum up with!

OK, now who could turn down a sexy response like that? Not me...

I consulted my handy-dandy dream book, and this is what it said: The other woman in your dream is you, actually a specific side of you – the caring, nurturing, loving side of you; the one that shares the intimate relationship with Mr. Vespertine. The gist of the dream is keeping the intimacy of your marriage private and away from the other side of you – the swinger side. It basically restates the general lifestyle belief that sex is separate from making love, and that this is a core belief of yours. Now, the only part I couldn’t nail down is the fact that you were at a party, which represents the need to go out and enjoy yourself more. I don’t know if that means swinging more or spending more intimate time with the hubby. I think only you can answer that question.

I know that my results weren’t very glamorous, so in order to spice this up a bit, I hereby declare that this dream means you need to get out and swing a LOT more!!!

Mr. Funk
Wishing he had "I gotta swing with Vespertine more" dreams...

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by confunktion

I hereby declare that this dream means you need to get out and swing a LOT more!!!

Mmm...

Nice analysis.

[confunktion]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

Mmm...

Nice analysis.

I aim to please...

Mr. Funk
Swami for hire

[jcbicouple]

Just found this thread. (Pretty busy around the new year)
Ves, I (Mrs. JCbi) have dreams where I wake up completely mad at Mr. JCbi. I've gotten better at not hitting him, or shoving him out of bed in the middle of the night over them.
I think it comes from a combination of things: Too much stress, (<--- Big one)insecurities (Ya, even those of us that are always self confident have them), and the fears of all of the same things we talk about here. i.e. broken rules, the "what if"s, etc. and even if we know they'll never really happen....it's a weak point (spot we can't control?) for those of us that really are always confident and self assured. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone at all. Anyways, The thing that works best to get over it seems to be exactly what you did: Talk to your hubby and let him reassure you that it wouldn't happen.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by jcbicouple

I think it comes from a combination of things: Too much stress, (<--- Big one)insecurities (Ya, even those of us that are always self confident have them), and the fears of all of the same things we talk about here. i.e. broken rules, the "what if"s, etc. and even if we know they'll never really happen....it's a weak point (spot we can't control?) for those of us that really are always confident and self assured. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone at all.

Makes sense to me! Especially the control part.

Thanks for sharing!