Swinging Nightmares

[DBL D]

Hi Ves, I go away for a few days and look what happens...

Man, dreams are such POWERFUL things because they are so real. They come from your brain. I know about the anxiety you were feeling. It almost makes you feel like the real life we are living isn't real, and that the dream was.

Good thing you know it wasn't real. When I have "bad" dreams I tend to forget them. I have no recall of them after a few days. Now how long is it till N.Y.D.?

You probably will absolutely go nuts this New Years... facelick

And Happy Birthday..Ours are cumming soon too.

Male D

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by good times

First Ves, I have to say I am very disapointed that I wasn't in your dream.

Just because you weren't in this dream, doesn't mean you haven't been featured in my other dreams. You know, the TMI kind.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by NakedInSeattle

Obviously this is something you fear or do not want to happen. I think that if you talk it over with the Mr, it will further emphasize to him that this is an unacceptable situation and if he loves you (as I think he does), he will assure you that this will never happen and it will allay your fears. Good luck and go play tomorrow night. We will be!

My husband came home from work a little while ago and I told him what a naughty boy he was in my dream. He reassured me nothing of the sort would ever happen. I feel better now that I was able to talk to him.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

Vespertine,
Yeah, I've had some pretty horrible dreams about swinging.

I woke up like you...completely pissed at hubby and feeling completely hurt.

Phew...

Glad I'm not the only neurotic one on the board!

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by DBL D

You probably will absolutely go nuts this New Years... facelick
Male D

You bet! I'm sure you and yours will too!

Enjoy your weekend and have fun!

[SluttyWife]

You know Sir Mike and I have this theory that people are drawn to swinging
and alt sex from some very unresolved issues leading way back into childhood.
Usually some unfinished business with absent/cold distant fathers? Parents who didn't do their job and really protect you? So you settled for a lesser kind of love from them than what you TRULY deserved?

It's "SO HARD" (a la George W. Bush) to overcome the jealous thing, I should know. Swinging seems to be the only area that makes it completely wash away for me. Funny, huh? I am at my worst in a mongamous relationship and have THE BIGGEST problem with exclusion. But fortunately most of us in the lifestyle feel the very same way and would be terribly hurt if that dream you had materialised for them. And many of us have learned from not just etiquette but experience that we should ALWAYS put our parter first.
Otherwise we ain't swinging anymore dear!

Glad it was just a dream but there seems to be some underlying feeling
there you might want to explore. A fear of losing your mate?
Great time to keep the communication wide open (find ways to overcome jealousy for the most part with lotsa reassurance) and explore more together.
Emotionally and figuratively of course.



Sweeter dreams tonight!

Yours,

Slutty Wife

[northindycpl]

Gosh... I really feel for you! I am a woman that has a terrific and sometimes terrifying dream state. I can literally have a dream and be so made at Mr. Indy for days.

Over the years Mr. Indy knows what to expect, and if he hears me having a bad dream he will wake me up. (I talk in my sleep ) But I have found that ultimately, just having the ability to talk it over with him, no matter what the dream is about, is the best course of action. I feel better almost immediately.

He used to poke light at them, but now, he really listens and comforts me. It is actually pretty great.

I have noticed to, that in times of stress, unfamiliar experiences, sometimes eating late, or having a great concern wieghing on me, will cause me to dream badly. One thing I have learned to do is to mentally list all things in my mind, before bed. I will sorta think quietly to myself for many minutes (meditate) and work my way through my list. it really clears my head before sleeping.

I also put the TV on 'nick at night' and drift off to sleep- something subliminally makes me dream the most pleasant dreams!

[HotMoCpl]

Over a dream?? Get a life please. Have you ever had MFM? Gangbang? Try it as it will lift your self esteem a whole lot!

[northindycpl]

Ya know.... I think dreams are things that are much more powerful to women, then to men. In talking with my female friends, it seems they are more bothered by their dreams, too. Most men, give the response like MO couple... Most women understand.

Mr. Indy learned to understand too.....Especially when after discussing my dreams he would get lucky!

I read that very intellectual and stimulating women dream powerfully. It is those women that make the best lovers and spouses, as they are more free to experience life in a healthy, assertive way. There is also a study being performed now by the Grey Institute... Their finding is that women with powerful dream sequences not only experience deeper more satisfying orgasms repeatedly, but their S/O's experience them as well.

You go girl! I know I certainly do!

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by HotMoCpl

Over a dream?? Get a life please. Have you ever had MFM? Gangbang? Try it as it will lift your self esteem a whole lot!

Ouch.
I'm sure Ves has a life HotMo. Having a dream like that just plain sucks. And while it may be just a dream, it was pretty damn real-feeling when she was having it. I've only ever dreamt about swinging a couple of times (and both times I was woken up just as I was getting to the good part dammit!! ) and both times it was good. I have had other dreams - nightmares - about other aspects of my life. For example, a dream where my kids were being hurt or killed and I was paralysed and unable to help them. I had trouble sleeping for a few days after that.

Ves, this dream just means you're looking for a little 'chicken soup for the soul' from Mr. Vespertine. Sounds like you guys have started on that. You know that's one of the really cool things about being in the lifestyle: we often have spouses we can turn to when we're having a crisis like that, and they really truly understand and care. We're practiced at emotionally supporting each other and being sensitive to each others' needs. So many non-lifestyle couples I know are relationship-challenged that way. Just an observation.

[DBL D]

Geez, how about drinking a whole bottle of scotch before you go to bed too!

This solution is like apples and oranges.

Maybe they should, like, look up your profile and read about your lousy little life, Ves. They actually might learn something. How ridiculous!

Male D

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by HotMoCpl

Over a dream?? Get a life please. Have you ever had MFM? Gangbang? Try it as it will lift your self esteem a whole lot!

Yes, HotMoCpl... I've had several MFM experiences. Unlike you (one who has not swung yet), I have swinging experience. How do you know that a MFM or a GB would lift my self esteem (a whole lot) if you've never experienced one? Did you read this in the "Swinging For Dummies" manual?

There is a lot more involved in swinging than fucking, sir.

There are a lot of emotions to be had. Luckily for me, all my experiences have been positive. My husband and I have enjoyed ourselves immensely.

I've never had a negative thought related to swinging. That's why my dream perplexed me and I wanted to see if other experienced people ever had them too. Plus I thought it would serve as a good thread for newbies (like yourself), to learn that even experienced swingers run into little bumps along the road.

That is the wonderful thing about this board. You can share your experiences with other swingers and learn how other couples deal with certain situations that maybe develop. You can talk about insecurities that might surface and see how other couples (with more experience) handle them.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by SluttyWife

Glad it was just a dream but there seems to be some underlying feeling
there you might want to explore. A fear of losing your mate?

I think you're on to something, SluttyWife!

My husband said the same thing. He thinks the dream was because I subconsciously have a fear of losing him. My father passed-away this month, and I really had a hard time coming to terms with this loss. My husband made an appointment for us with a life inurance agent a day or so before the dream too...so I'm sure that got the wacky dream wheel turning in my head.

[DBL D]

Now you know how HotMoCpl solves his nightmare dilemmas. Gee, why haven't I thought of it.

I also thought of your loss, Ves. Many times things that happen in dreams are transposed. Usually has nothing to do with the actual content of the dream.

Male D

[intuition897]

Come to think of it Ves, I just recently had a bout of jealousy, although I can't quite remember what it was about. I just remember feeling miserably inadequate and resentful towards this other (supermodel gorgeous) girl. I was totally surprised that I could still feel that way as it's been a LONG time since I'd felt any jealousy. Not even a twinge! I think it probably stems from the fact that I've packed on a good 10 lbs over the holiday It didn't last long, and obviously it was even a big enough deal that I remembered what started it. Just thought I'd share. Strange isn't it?