Odd Experience at a Swinger Club

[good times]

I had something happen the other night at the club that got me wondering if anybody else has had a similar experience.

We had been at the club sitting at a table visiting with two other couples for an hour or so and a guy comes up and introduces himself to the male of the couple sitting at the end of the table. That is pretty normal and we all said hi but, at least for myself, I thought he was single guy and so didn't really take much notice except that he kind of kept hanging around. After a few minutes he went over to the bar and sat down next to a woman who was apparently his wife or girlfriend.

At some point during the evening everyone at our table but me were dancing and I was sitting by myself when he came up to me and said "how are you doing" I said "fine, and you", he then said "I just wanted to ask you how it feels to be at the club with the most beautiful women here?”. I was at a loss for words for a minute (rare, to those that know me well) and didn't really know how to answer that question. I finally said something like "I don't really know how to answer your question but as their are a quite a few beautiful ladies at the club I imagine I feel pretty much the same as anyone else does.”. He then said "Oh no, I noticed right away as soon as we got here that your wife is much more attractive than the other women here, and I've always wondered how a guy would feel to be able to go out with the hottest women at the club".

What struck me as weird or odd about this is I've always considered my wife to be a very attractive women and I will admit to often thinking she is the most attractive woman at the club, but I always thought that that is how most guy's felt about their wives. While my wife was flattered by what the guy had said when I told her, we couldn’t help but wonder if the guy has such a low opinion of his own wife how that must make her feel. It just struck me as kind of sad that this guy would not feel about his wife the way I feel about mine, and although it didn't affect our activities for the evening I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

So I'm curious has anybody else had any experiences at a club or on a play date that struck you as odd or weird that you couldn't stop thinking about later?

And, am I wrong, or was this guy's question kind of weird or what?

[Greg & Sheryl]

It’s difficult to speculate what his intent might have been. Our guess is that he was simply trying to say, in a unique and creative way, that he thought your wife was very pretty. Perhaps the ideal response should have been, “It feels pretty good, thanks.” Your answer was a sincere and modest one, but it left the other fellow unable to recover from the awkwardness of the exchange. It’s possible that he feels his wife is just as attractive as anyone else, but he was trying to say he felt that your wife was the most attractive among the potential playmates for him and his wife.

This couple is probably a shy couple, as indicated by the failure of the wife to approach you two. It likely took a lot of energy for the husband to get the courage to approach you, but it’s obvious that he doesn’t know how to effectively initiate a conversation. We bet that he went home kicking himself for blowing an opportunity to get to know you and your wife better.

[DBL D]

Kinda funny story in a way. Wow. I remembered the first dance Fem D and I went to. I was dancing with our host couples wife and she asked how I was doing and before I knew it I said something like I was having a blast and was with the prettiest woman in the room. The lady said she knew what I meant when I appologized about the remark.

I think Fem D is the most beautiful lady around. I also have learned to find other women beautiful. They all all wonderfully different. Besides, real beauty resides in your soul, not your compact.

Male D

[hotsummers]

I don't think it is a strange question since I am always with the most beuitiful woman in the place, my wife.

[Spoomonkey]

He was probably just complimenting your wife - and leaving his wife out of the mix. I mean, after a while, I think you get kind of comfortable saying even to your own wife, "she is the best looking woman here" and letting it just kind of go. Mrs. Spoomonkey knows how incredibly hot she is and I am sure many men have thought that at our club about her - and certainly there is no one in the building that I find more attractive...

I just think you sort of allow yourself to compliment a couple without really meaning any disrespect to your SO...

But - then again - I doubt I'd go up to someone and ask that question... If asked it, though, I think I'd answer, "it feels great, doesn't it?"

Spoomonkey

[EvilMJ]

You reminded my of an experience I had when I was single and out at the clubs with my best friend.

I met this guy, we chatted a few minutes and then I went off to the bar to get a drink. He turns to my friend and says "your friend is the most gorgeous woman here."

I think his intentions were totally innocent and he only ment it as a compliment to me, but I just found it quite uncomfortable as his innnocent comment made my friend feel bad. I think some guys just aren't good at the approach when meeting new people.

Just like that guy probably would not have realized that his comment may have made his wife feel pretty crappy if she had heard it.

[good times]

You may be right, I may have just totally missread his meaning, but by the way he asked, it seemed clear to me at the time that he didn't have any idea what it would feel like to be seen in public with an attractive women. If I did missread his intent then I feel pretty much like a heel now. At the time though, with his phrasing of the questions and body language, it struck me as so weird that, as I said before, it pretty much left me speechless.

Now that I think about it, he did seem to have a similar effect on other people that I saw him approach that night, allthough, I only heard what he actually said to a couple of them. The ones that I did overhear him talking to seemed to be much more normal interactions to me. So maybe he does just have really poor communication skills. His wife or girl friend just sat at the bar all night and I never saw her interact with anybody. Neither did he include her in any introductions that he made. So who knows, I hope he isn't sitting home now thinking that all the people at the club were giving him the cold shoulder.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by good times

At the time though, with his phrasing of the questions and body language, it struck me as so weird that, as I said before, it pretty much left me speechless.

There's a lot more to conversation than words. Body language, tone of voice and facial expressions can change the meaning of any word(s). If you think he meant what he said, he probably did.

Some people give off bad vibes for a reason. If you noticed him receiving a similar response from other couples, he was probably a weird dude.

[DBStPete]

I dunno, I'd be more likely to think the couple just wasn't very good at socializing. If this had been a single guy, then yeah, weird. But a couple, and she doesn't mingle, but stays and doesn't seem unhappy? Shy, I think.

Some folks never learn how to date or flirt very well, for a lot of reasons. I can sympathize, because both my wife and I fall in that gategory. We were not "popular" in school, and we met and fell in love in high school and got married a few years later. So for us the whole "social" aspect is quite difficult.

On the other hand, we're kinda weird, so maybe we're proving your point.

Mr. DBStPete

[Dr Jekyll]

Personally I think Mr Goodtimes is just bragging in the nicest possible way

I agree with the idea that he may not be very good socially, and meant it as a complement that went totally wrong and got out of hand a little.

[SexhoundDog]

Originally Posted by good times

His wife or girl friend just sat at the bar all night and I never saw her interact with anybody. Neither did he include her in any introductions that he made. So who knows, I hope he isn't sitting home now thinking that all the people at the club were giving him the cold shoulder.

I agree that he may not have had the best of social skills, and your comment I've quoted probably proves it. In my opinion, his biggest sin was committed by not having his wife/girlfriend be a part of any interaction, and from your 2nd sentence it appears that most of the other people noticed it too. I think how well someone makes sure their spouse is included in any social setting, be it swinging or vanilla, tells volumes about what kind of fun people or not they'd be to hang around with.

[good times]

Originally Posted by Dr Jekyll

Personally I think Mr Goodtimes is just bragging in the nicest possible way

I will admit that his actual comments as related above made it much easier to make this post than if he had said something like "how does it feel to show up with the most unattractive girl in the club"