Was his action a signal that he was interested in swinging with her?

[swingme2006]

My wife and I visited a local on premise club and had our first lifestyle experience. We had the hottest sex together as a couple. After we ddone IT for the 3rd time in a room with several other couples I asked my wife if she got the "vibe" from others, she stated that the male from the couple next to us was "brushing" against her hand/arm. What she did next was move her arm nervously away. Now....the question is...was this a signal and how would you respond and if it was a signal was it for us both or just for my beautiful wife. We are very inexperienced at this. Thanks for any replies and seuggestions.

[fun4Ds]

maby it was, maby it wasn't. the thing is that your wife was aware and gave a message so if he was signaling it seems to have worked out for everyone.if ya didnt want to play with him/them, then its acceptable to have moved her arm. good move sometimes in the heat of passion its easy to get signals mixed up and the wrong things happen.

[OttawaCuple]

Originally Posted by swingme2006

was this a signal

If he seemed to be brushing her hand/arm on purpose, I'd say it was very likely a signal that the man was interested in playing with your wife

and how would you respond

It would depend on what my husband's and my "rules" were. If we'd agreed that it was ok for me to play with another man, and if I found the man attractive/sexy, I'd respond positively. If I wasn't interested, or if playing with another couple wasn't within our "rules", I would do what your wife did: I would gently move my hand/arm away and pay him no attention. If he continued to brush against me, I'd politely but firmly tell him "no, sorry". By this point, I'm sure my husband would be aware of the situation and would reinforce my non-interest if necessary.

and if it was a signal was it for us both or just for my beautiful wife.

I would say it was a signal for your wife unless the man or his wife was also showing an interest in you.

At an on-premise swinger's club, it is completely normal and expected that others will approach you or your wife with the intention of playing if they find either or both of you attractive, especially if you are playing in a group play area for an extended period. It IS a swingers club, after all .

It is also completely normal and expected that not everyone will be open to playing with everyone, so you should expect a polite "no thanks", to be received with acceptance and no hard feelings.

MrsOttawaCuple

[OttawaCuple]

Oh, and Welcome to the board

MrsOttawaCuple

[swingme2006]

Of course we understand that we were in a SEX club, but how would we know if the couple were interested in playing as a couple or just with my wife. I know that we sound naive and inexperienced............. but that is because we are. It was the hottest sex we ever had and we really enjoyed it.

[WesternSwing]

It may have been a signal that he was interested in your wife, or he may of just been given an "assist" with you to heighten her pleasure. It's hard to say. Usually though, the signals are much more direct, like "would you like to play?"

What you two need to do is decide if the situation does arise where a man or woman is giving signals to you, are you and your wife willing to play solo or do a threesome with the single. In the optimimum scenario both parties of the other couple would want to swing with you. Just cover the "what-if's" and you'll be prepared for the next encounter.

Mr. WS

[fun4Ds]

i guess i missed something. we are people people, so when we are at a club we touch base with people before any playing. so we would have probly talked to every one (some) in a room before we were naked. for shur after.if your not interested be up front and straight about it. people who get upset about you not wanting to play are far and few between in the lifestyle. if you only want to play with each other thats quite ecceptable, just be up front about it. your there for each other first and above all.

[DBL D]

The biggest thing you two can do for each other is be honest with people. (Not saying you weren't.) Everyone was a newbie once and it always helps to have new couples who are open enough to make Kiss-takes and learn from them. You two were open enough to have sex in a group room so these things will be what happen to you. People have to give you a signal and you signal back. That's the way it works.

Male D

[swingme2006]

I didn't mean to imply here that we were not going to enjoy the company of others. The question was, was this a signal and how do you respond. Thanks

[Swingercast]

Was it a signal? Find out by asking.

While you are having sex in a club...

Your wife whispers in your ear - I think this guy (or girl, or couple) wants to play with us.

You whisper: Would you like to play with them?

Your wife whispers back: Yes.

You whisper: Ask them to play unless you want me to ask.

Your wife says to other couple: Would you like to play with us?

They say: Yes.

Skip down.

They say: No thanks. We just want to concentrate on each other for now.

You say (politely): Well, you are a very hot couple and we are having so much fun watching you. (continue enjoying your wife, while being in their presence, then after a while move to another area or just continue with your wife and let that be a fun, hot experience. You already said it's hot for you and we agree!!)

If they said: Yes.

Take a brief break and both of you should tell them your boundaries and what excites you. Listen to them and understand how they like to play. Are they soft swap? Full swap? Do the girls want to play together? This conversation can be as in depth or as brief as all 4 of you are comfortable with. Just take the time to see if they are a match. After all this hot conversation, one of the ladies will probably give a signal that they are ready.

Then Play.

Play.

Play.

Play.

Talk to them after and thank them for a wonderful time. Hugs are always good.

Go home and play some more.

Rinse. Repeat.

[swingme2006]

That was a well thought response to us newbie and pretty much explains things. Several times we relized that we missed an opportunity as this was the only couple my wife thought was "her type". Thanks again for your response.

[Amanda69]

Best bet...always ask. Don't rely on signals, everyone's are different and depending on the situation can mean different things.

Communication is number one in the lifestyle, with your partner and with other potential play partners.

There are so many reasons why this guy could have touched your wife's arm. So asked eliminates any misunderstandings and allows you both to decide if you are interested in playing with him or not.

[OttawaCuple]

right on, Swingercast.

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by swingme2006

I didn't mean to imply here that we were not going to enjoy the company of others. The question was, was this a signal and how do you respond. Thanks

The only real signal is if they ask "can I play with you?" or "can I touch you?" Everything else is just reading too much into a body motion. Always go off verbal signals, motions and gestures will get you in trouble everytime.

Mr. WS