What can I expect from an on-premises party?

10-08-2001, 09:25 PM

I am looking into swinging for the first time (we are planning to attend an "on-premises" party in November. My wife said that she will go, however, she will not promise that she will "do" anything . I'm okay with that, I too just want to go to an "on-premises" club to see what kind of people go to these parties and If we BOTH feel cofortable, maybe go to the next step. I am looking forward to it, however, I am a little nervous because I don't know what to expect. What I am looking for is to watch my wife have sex with another male and maybe join them in a threesome. Her fantasies are to have sex with a younger male ((23 - 26) - she is 30). Is this possible?? If so, what can I expect from the party?

Thank you

***JustAskJulie*** · 10-08-2001, 09:36 PM

That's definately possible, if that's what you both choose to do.

What kind of people will you find? All kinds. Swingers are just a cross-section of the world.. so you'll find all sorts. Just be open to people.. have fun and do what you are comfortable with.

If you decide that the two of you aren't ready to explore sex with others yet.. and you just want to check things out.. do so.. but keep in mind that most people don't like to be ogled... and no one says that just cuz you aren't ready to have sex with others you can't enjoy each other at the party

sometimes that's the most fun way to go

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

danc694u · 10-09-2001, 09:10 AM

I know this is going to get me razed. But, we never recommend that a new couple attend an "on premise" for their first time out.

10-09-2001, 09:35 AM

Thank you for your replies to my earlier posting about "What to expect". I am also concerned about the type of people that go to these parties. Are they truely from all walks of life? The reason I ask is that I have seen "HBO" (or other networks) specials on the lifestyle and they show old and fat men with no teeth or people my wife and I wouldn't consider having sex with. I don't want to sound like we are better than anyone (I hope you understand)- I am just concerned and nervous about our first time and I would like this to be a pleasurable experience for all of us.

Thank you

danc694u · 10-09-2001, 09:58 AM

You're getting the cart before the horse now

But, I'll give it a shot.

Yes, there are ugly, fat, old, toothless people that attend these functions. But, there are some great looking people that attend also.

We've met people from all walks of life. Doctors, Lawyers, even Cops

But, if you go into the place with a fixed idea of what you're looking for. Most likely, you won't find it.

There is so much more to people than their looks and lifestyle you need to be concerned with.

Rating people on a 1-10 scale. We've been with 10's, and we've been with 4's. But, their personality has always been 8 or better. Personality goes a very long way with us.

I absolutely would not have a LARGE woman. Although I have been with a few, and enjoyed every minute of it too.

And, Maggie hates the idea of a "real skinny" man. But, sometimes things don't always appear to be what they are.

Bottom line. Just go. Enjoy yourself. Meet people. Try to have fun, without placing any pressure on yourself or spouse.

**TNT** · 10-09-2001, 12:11 PM

I agree with danc694u, get to know the people before you play..it's funny how once you get to know a person, they become more attractive to you..the opposite is also true, we have met some very attractive men and women, but due to their personalities, would never party with them..it's what's on the inside that really makes a good playmate.

Teresa

LIZA · 10-09-2001, 12:20 PM

We went to an on-premise club our first time. It was a little mind boggling, but you definitely got to see what goes on and make a decision if that is for you. We actually did play a little our first time, we both felt comfortable.
I have never been to a "social" or dance........They always seemed like kind of a waste of time! If you go to an on-premise club with the agreement before hand that neither will doing anything but looking, you should be fine. If you are approached just let them know it's your first time and you just want to take it in and not rush, every club I have been to is totally cool about that

LIZA · 10-09-2001, 12:21 PM

P.s. remember that most socials and dance's (and on-premise clubs too) are primarily couples only. So if you are looking to be with just another man and do not want his wife involved, that may be tough to pull off at a club

LIZA · 10-09-2001, 12:27 PM

It also really depends on the club, at least here in the big city where we have probably 10 or 15 clubs operating within 50 miles.

Some definitely cater to an older crowd..........some are very mixed and at least 1 that we go to is a pretty youg crowd (early 20s-early 40s)Here clubs get a reputation for different things.........older crowd, younger "hot" crowd, gang-bang centered, interracially centered, SM centered, etc etc........But unless you live in a major metro area you probably will not have the choice and will just have to go and see for yourself. You can call ahead and ask what the general age range is, but even if they tell you 20's and 30's that still have no bearing on whether you will be attracted to these people!
If you are in L.A. let me know and i can give you the run-down

***JustAskJulie*** · 10-09-2001, 12:51 PM

As Liza pointed out.. usually you will find that different clubs cater to different people. A lot really depends on the people who are running the club and their screening process.

For instance, the club that used to operate up here was very picky about only having "pretty" people. Something I didn't really care for.. simply because the hosts ideas of "pretty" people lended itself more to stuck up people than to those with good personalities/attitudes about their looks.

If you look through the club listings here on the Swingers Board and read the reviews for the various clubs you will see that some of the clubs tend more towards upper-class attractive swingers and others in the opposite direction.

Swinging is a cross-section of society, but the people you will find at any particular club might not be. If looks are all you are worried about then you should contact the club and ask them if you can meet in advance with some of the couples who attend. This should give you a good idea of what to expect from THAT club. However, it will not give you an idea of what to expect from every club.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

***JustAskJulie*** · 10-09-2001, 12:52 PM

One thing to keep in mind about the specials on HBO and such. The people who appear in those specials are just the people who are willing to appear. That will not give you a cross-section view of Swinging. Not to mention that those shows don't give you a cross-section view to begin with.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

cltlmass · 10-09-2001, 03:08 PM

Thank you all, for your replies... It makes me feel much better. looking forward to the lifestyle.

***JustAskJulie*** · 04-17-2002, 03:33 PM

I'm sure it would be much easier than hooking up with a woman at a club without her husband being involved. A lot of couples are willing to play seperately.

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10-08-2001, 09:25 PM	#1 (permalink)
clmass Guest Posts: n/a	What can I expect from an on-premises party? I am looking into swinging for the first time (we are planning to attend an "on-premises" party in November. My wife said that she will go, however, she will not promise that she will "do" anything . I'm okay with that, I too just want to go to an "on-premises" club to see what kind of people go to these parties and If we BOTH feel cofortable, maybe go to the next step. I am looking forward to it, however, I am a little nervous because I don't know what to expect. What I am looking for is to watch my wife have sex with another male and maybe join them in a threesome. Her fantasies are to have sex with a younger male ((23 - 26) - she is 30). Is this possible?? If so, what can I expect from the party? Thank you
clmass Guest Posts: n/a

10-08-2001, 09:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,245 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	That's definately possible, if that's what you both choose to do. What kind of people will you find? All kinds. Swingers are just a cross-section of the world.. so you'll find all sorts. Just be open to people.. have fun and do what you are comfortable with. If you decide that the two of you aren't ready to explore sex with others yet.. and you just want to check things out.. do so.. but keep in mind that most people don't like to be ogled... and no one says that just cuz you aren't ready to have sex with others you can't enjoy each other at the party sometimes that's the most fun way to go Julie http://www.swingersboard.com
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

10-09-2001, 09:10 AM	#3 (permalink)
danc694u Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 546 Location: Birmingham, AL Status: couple	I know this is going to get me razed. But, we never recommend that a new couple attend an "on premise" for their first time out.
	__________________ Phonies and Fakes Need not apply. We're as real as it gets, and don't have time to be wasting on dumbasses.

10-09-2001, 09:35 AM	#4 (permalink)
clmass Guest Posts: n/a	What to expect (2) Thank you for your replies to my earlier posting about "What to expect". I am also concerned about the type of people that go to these parties. Are they truely from all walks of life? The reason I ask is that I have seen "HBO" (or other networks) specials on the lifestyle and they show old and fat men with no teeth or people my wife and I wouldn't consider having sex with. I don't want to sound like we are better than anyone (I hope you understand)- I am just concerned and nervous about our first time and I would like this to be a pleasurable experience for all of us. Thank you
clmass Guest Posts: n/a

10-09-2001, 09:58 AM	#5 (permalink)
danc694u Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 546 Location: Birmingham, AL Status: couple	You're getting the cart before the horse now But, I'll give it a shot. Yes, there are ugly, fat, old, toothless people that attend these functions. But, there are some great looking people that attend also. We've met people from all walks of life. Doctors, Lawyers, even Cops But, if you go into the place with a fixed idea of what you're looking for. Most likely, you won't find it. There is so much more to people than their looks and lifestyle you need to be concerned with. Rating people on a 1-10 scale. We've been with 10's, and we've been with 4's. But, their personality has always been 8 or better. Personality goes a very long way with us. I absolutely would not have a LARGE woman. Although I have been with a few, and enjoyed every minute of it too. And, Maggie hates the idea of a "real skinny" man. But, sometimes things don't always appear to be what they are. Bottom line. Just go. Enjoy yourself. Meet people. Try to have fun, without placing any pressure on yourself or spouse.
	__________________ Phonies and Fakes Need not apply. We're as real as it gets, and don't have time to be wasting on dumbasses.

10-09-2001, 12:11 PM	#6 (permalink)
TNT Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 5,003 Location: baker, fl, usa Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:tblonde312	I agree with danc694u, get to know the people before you play..it's funny how once you get to know a person, they become more attractive to you..the opposite is also true, we have met some very attractive men and women, but due to their personalities, would never party with them..it's what's on the inside that really makes a good playmate. Teresa
	__________________ Ted and Teresa No lifetime is enough unless you live it in such a way as to make it enough.

10-09-2001, 12:20 PM	#7 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	We went to an on-premise club our first time. It was a little mind boggling, but you definitely got to see what goes on and make a decision if that is for you. We actually did play a little our first time, we both felt comfortable. I have never been to a "social" or dance........They always seemed like kind of a waste of time! If you go to an on-premise club with the agreement before hand that neither will doing anything but looking, you should be fine. If you are approached just let them know it's your first time and you just want to take it in and not rush, every club I have been to is totally cool about that

10-09-2001, 12:21 PM	#8 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	P.s. remember that most socials and dance's (and on-premise clubs too) are primarily couples only. So if you are looking to be with just another man and do not want his wife involved, that may be tough to pull off at a club

10-09-2001, 12:27 PM	#9 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	It also really depends on the club, at least here in the big city where we have probably 10 or 15 clubs operating within 50 miles. Some definitely cater to an older crowd..........some are very mixed and at least 1 that we go to is a pretty youg crowd (early 20s-early 40s)Here clubs get a reputation for different things.........older crowd, younger "hot" crowd, gang-bang centered, interracially centered, SM centered, etc etc........But unless you live in a major metro area you probably will not have the choice and will just have to go and see for yourself. You can call ahead and ask what the general age range is, but even if they tell you 20's and 30's that still have no bearing on whether you will be attracted to these people! If you are in L.A. let me know and i can give you the run-down

10-09-2001, 12:51 PM	#10 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,245 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	As Liza pointed out.. usually you will find that different clubs cater to different people. A lot really depends on the people who are running the club and their screening process. For instance, the club that used to operate up here was very picky about only having "pretty" people. Something I didn't really care for.. simply because the hosts ideas of "pretty" people lended itself more to stuck up people than to those with good personalities/attitudes about their looks. If you look through the club listings here on the Swingers Board and read the reviews for the various clubs you will see that some of the clubs tend more towards upper-class attractive swingers and others in the opposite direction. Swinging is a cross-section of society, but the people you will find at any particular club might not be. If looks are all you are worried about then you should contact the club and ask them if you can meet in advance with some of the couples who attend. This should give you a good idea of what to expect from THAT club. However, it will not give you an idea of what to expect from every club. Julie http://www.swingersboard.com
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

10-09-2001, 12:52 PM	#11 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,245 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	One thing to keep in mind about the specials on HBO and such. The people who appear in those specials are just the people who are willing to appear. That will not give you a cross-section view of Swinging. Not to mention that those shows don't give you a cross-section view to begin with. Julie http://www.swingersboard.com
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

10-09-2001, 03:08 PM	#12 (permalink)
cltlmass Registered User Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 2 Location: Central Massachusetts, USA	Thank you all, for your replies... It makes me feel much better. looking forward to the lifestyle.

04-17-2002, 03:33 PM	#13 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,245 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	I'm sure it would be much easier than hooking up with a woman at a club without her husband being involved. A lot of couples are willing to play seperately.
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

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